At 7 o’clock in the morning, my progenitors and I engaged in a substantial altercation before hastily vacating the domicile. I, being of twenty-eight years, found myself subjected to a succession of orchestrated blind rendezvous by my progenitors. Though compliant, each rendezvous concluded fruitlessly. It is not a matter of fastidiousness, but rather, a lack of affinity toward any suitor presented. On this particular day, when urged to partake in yet another blind encounter, I adamantly declined, remarking, “A photoshoot is superfluous; an engagement will suffice,” before departing in a state of agitation. Fate seemed indifferent to our plight, as within mere moments of our departure, torrents of rain descended…