When we are in anger, we often speak without a word, throwing out the most vicious words, like a storm. Then the whole world fell into deathly silence. You probably regret it at this time, but you still refuse to bow your head. What can be done if the water is hard to harvest?
The greatest anger I have ever witnessed is from the neighbor downstairs.
It was late at night, and I heard the quarrel of the couple. In fact, I can’t hear the details, only know that the two people quarreled all night, accompanied by the loud sound of throwing things. The next day, my daughter went to the children’s house downstairs to play. I saw TVs, computers, coffee pots, and cups in the corridor, as if the entire living room had been thrown out.
I don’t know what happened to that couple, but the battles shocked me: If they can’t live well, why not divorce? Such a posture is too ugly.
The Korean drama “The World of Husbands and Wife” takes the mutual harm between husbands and wives by unscrupulous means to the extreme. After an affair, the two began to fight secretly. After living together for so many years, both sides know how to arouse each other’s anger, induce them to act irrationally, and take the opportunity to leave more evidence to their advantage in order to fight for the custody of their son.
Women even use their sons as props to make men think that their son is dead. Domestic violence was immediately staged, but women accepted it all. This is what she expected. On the surface, the man won, but in fact he lost. In fact, every time a man lost his sense of anger, he lost. The calm ending of the woman makes this family drama not bloody at all, but like playing an intellectual game.
If you are a stranger, anger may have a deterrent effect, which is conducive to maintaining your own territory and not being violated. Because strangers can’t judge the serious consequences of your anger. He was afraid that he could not pay the bill, so he dared not act rashly.
The family is different. Your behavior logic has been exposed in the long married life. Family members are very clear about your hole cards and your behavior. The behavior this time has laid a footnote for the next, unless you play differently each time. This is of course difficult.
Anger is making you lose more. After anger, maybe you have lost your territory. In this contest, the sensible side is usually the winner. In fact, whoever speaks louder indicates who is more guilty. Only people who are not self-confident will try to force others to accept their opinions in an angry way.
After anger, you may need to work harder to get the situation back. The weak inner advantage when the anger strikes needs to be doubled to compensate afterwards. After I have seen too much anger, I will try to turn the tide. A lot of gifts were given, and there was a basket of good things. As long as the other party can forgive themselves, everything is fine, even as low as the dust.
Even worse, after every anger, the other party has more initiative. They fight steadily for the battalion step by step. If you enter the final battle, you will have been messed up, but the opponent is planning a tactic.
After such a resumption, you will be clear: anger always ends, and irrationality is making you lose more. Because you have already lost your helmet and armor, how can you continue to fight? Can only be incomplete. The real contest in marriage is a secret game. You have not said anything, but you have won.
