For many people, expressing feelings with their fathers has always been a difficult task. After all, the most common phrase dads say is “see your mother.” In fact, psychologists are also very fond of studying the relationship between mother and child, but the function of fathers is rarely mentioned.
Are dads really not worth mentioning our psychological value? The fact is just the opposite: the role of the father in the development of the child’s mind and body cannot be ignored.
Dad is the company, children are smarter
Dad’s nurturing has a positive effect on children’s brain development. Scientists have done a study on Octagonal rats to prove this point.
Octopus is very similar to human beings. Mom and Dad will share the labor to raise little mice. Dad will take care of the little mice. When the little mice grow up, Dad will play with them.
The study found that only when the mouse father stays in the nest, the mouse’s brain development will be healthy. If the mouse father is isolated immediately after birth, the number of synaptic connections responsible for transmitting information in the two brain regions of the mouse will be greatly reduced. Moreover, during the brain’s synaptic development stage, if the father is not around, the development of a region of the cerebral cortex will be defective. This cortex is responsible for decision-making and is also related to higher brain functions such as emotion.
Scientists speculate that many children who lacked parental love when they were young will have abnormal behaviors when they grow up, which may be related to the dysfunction of the synapses in this area.
Coincidentally, a study by Yale University in the United States showed that children raised by their fathers have higher IQs. why? The reason is very simple.
Because the mother usually teaches the children how to use various objects in daily life, and the father often engages in the operation of repairing vehicles, machinery, electrical appliances, etc. in the family, so that the children have a strong interest in the hands-on operation. The hands-on operation promotes the development of children’s imagination, perception and creativity, and at the same time stimulates their spirit of exploration and desire for knowledge.
Better language skills and rule awareness
Many psychological investigations also show that children with fathers have better language development skills. why?
Scientists speculate that because mothers tend to use “baby language” to talk to their children, this is something the children can understand, such as the language “after eating, we go to sleep”. Dad likes to use adult language to talk to children. In the sentence just now, the father would directly say: “You come to eat, then go to sleep.”
This is difficult for children to understand at first, but it also forces them to use their brains. To analyze, guess, and finally master more complex sentences and more difficult vocabulary. Therefore, the children brought out by the father will have stronger language skills. Dad’s help for children’s language ability can even continue to affect children’s future performance in school.
Dad can also help children establish the earliest awareness of rules. The study found that when fathers put down their bodies and played with their children, what the children learned in games (wrestling, throwing, playing horseback riding, top cows) was profound to them. They learned how to have fun, make noise, and observe others. , Make rules.
Especially in terms of the sense of rules, playing games can sometimes make them tired and painful. At this time, dads can discuss the rules with them, such as not hurting each other and when should they end. Such hands-on experience activities obviously have Helps develop the self-control of boys.
Better social adaptability
In addition, the father can also promote the child’s social development. Research has found that if fathers have more fun and emotional interactions with their children, the children will be more popular in school later. Perhaps in these interactions, the father taught the children to recognize human facial expressions, and the children’s empathy ability is also higher.
The adult’s brain is neuroplastic, and it is used to advance and disuse. The less dad is allowed to take the child, the worse it will be for him to take care of him, but he can take it with confidence and boldly to ensure that he will take the better. Every man’s brain has the potential to become a super dad.
At the same time, the interaction between the father and the child also helps the child expand the scope of social activities and social content. In the traditional social division of labor of “men dominate the outside and women dominate the inside”, fathers generally have a wider range of social contacts than mothers; at the same time, because fathers need to take on more social responsibilities, his outlook on life and values will also be more macroscopic And long-term.
Therefore, children’s interactions with their fathers can allow them to see more people and things, and allow them to learn about equal and harmonious interactions between fathers and other people. Some fathers will take their children to socialize with strangers. It further activates the child’s communication skills and induces the child’s curiosity about the outside world, and the successful exploration experience allows the child to obtain new information, thereby showing courage to the future strange environment and promoting the child’s outgoing development.
Compared with mothers, fathers are more about taking risks than protecting their children. Many mothers think that this can’t be done or that can’t be done. Dad might think that it’s not a big deal. If you fall, you will fall. Come on, knock on it, it doesn’t matter, this gives the children some space to explore when they are cared and loved by their mothers.
On the contrary, in families without a father, children are particularly afraid of going out of the house to socialize with other people, thus becoming withdrawn and autistic. Studies have shown that in families without a father’s company, children will have more anti-social behaviors, such as lying, stealing, and fighting. At the same time, his cognitive abilities such as intelligence and memory also developed slowly, and his academic performance was also poor.
According to an Australian statistics, if all fathers in the country play with their babies for 5 more minutes a day, the government can spend less than A$5 billion on juvenile delinquency, drug abuse, and special education. It can be seen that the company of father is very important to children.
Mother “delegates power”, father is better
Even so, a closer look at the current development of Chinese children will reveal that many dads are absent from their children’s growth. This is called “daddy’s regression”, which specifically refers to the fact that after the child is born, young dads are greatly affected. He didn’t know how to deal with the pressure, so he chose to escape and became an irrational “older child” who also seemed to need to be taken care of.
In many families, even if the child cries heartbreakingly, the father can still play games on the side without anyone else. “Dad’s regression” will cause the lack of father’s function in the child’s growth.
Why is there such a phenomenon as “Dad’s regression”?
On the one hand, mothers and children are in a symbiotic relationship, so mothers’ motherhood has been cultivated since the child’s birth, and they are more likely to take the initiative to take the responsibility of raising children. But Dad is not. Many dads don’t realize they have children until their children are over one year old.
On the other hand, some mothers always think that their father is clumsy with their children, and feel that it is better to be more worry-free, and simply not let father touch the children. This phenomenon in which fathers are forcibly blocked from parenting is called ” Mother goalkeeping effect”.
In order for the father to be better involved in parenting, mothers can give their husbands more opportunities. The adult brain is neuroplastic, and it is used to advance and retreat. The less you let the father take care of the child, the worse he will take care of him. Let dad take it, and promise to take it as soon as possible. Every man’s brain has the potential to become a super dad.
For dad, playing some interesting games with children is a good entry point for parenting. When playing with children, you can add some difficult actions, such as: high jump, airplane hug, etc. More importantly, what dad gives to children should be “Involved companionship” means that you should not think about other things when you are with your child. Only by focusing on the company can you truly make your child feel love.
Finally, fathers play an irreplaceable role in the growth of their children. Every father in the new era must have the courage to actively participate in childcare. The love from you will be an inexhaustible wealth for children.
