How to see my mother


It’s better to see the letter, but I still hold back and did not go to your residence 800 meters away to talk to you in person. I decided to write you a letter to talk to you about your illness.

In my memory, since I was young, I never seem to have written you a complete letter. When I was in elementary school, the teacher gave an essay question: I compare my motherland to my mother. I strongly suggest to the teacher, let’s change the analogy. Later, the teacher did not accept my suggestion and asked to go to our home for an in-depth home visit. I still wrote that essay, and I changed the title of the essay in my heart to: I compare my motherland to grandma. It’s much easier to write now. I intend to write this letter to you. Because it is an open letter, my readers will also see it, and I will also share with them how to get along happily with my mother.

On your birthday in 2016, your dad left during a nap. After that, you began to live alone. You admit that you lied about your age. If you say that you are 83 years old this year according to your true birth date, you are also 80 years old this year, even if you calculate the legal age on your ID card. My elder brother couldn’t bear the psychological pressure of living in the same city as you very early, so he left Beijing early and went to the beach, facing the sea. The feeling of yearning for you fluctuates with the sea breeze. My sister has settled in the United States very early. Among the three of us, she has the strongest insensitivity. When she was in college, she won the shot put competition of Nanjing Youth Games. She always welcomes you to live with her in the United States. When you were younger, you drove my dad to live in America for a while and China for a while. One day after you fly to the United States, you will recite the good of China and call the United States boring; one day after you fly back to China, you will recite the good of the United States and lament China’s shortcomings. After 70 years old, you and my dad fly back and forth between China and the United States so often, it is really bad for your health. I think hard about the solution and make a plan to give you a 70th birthday gift: In order to protect your two elder’s body and the earth’s environment, I will not pay the money for your two elder’s round-trip international flights. . Of course, all your father’s money is under your control. Your second elder’s money is yours. Since then, I have done what I said, and you have never flew back and forth between China and the United States. Brother and sister can’t accompany you, I have to bite the bullet and accompany you, but I am also human, and I can’t bear to live with you under the same roof, or even in a community. I settled down in the community next to you. I hope you are all safe. We forgot about each other in the weeping willows outside Guangqumen. “We hear the sounds of chickens and dogs, and we will never talk to each other.” If you have an emergency, I will run to you at the fastest speed I can run.

Your blood pressure was low, and it started to rise 15 years ago. I said that the cause is that you have too much material desire and obsessiveness. Throw away half of the things in the house and your blood pressure has returned to normal. You answer me a word: “Go away.” You started taking antihypertensive drugs 10 years ago, but your medication and blood pressure status have always been a mystery. In the past 5 years, especially the 3 years after the father left, your blood pressure has become more and more uncontrollable, and you have begun to cry dizziness.

When you are dizzy, you are still concerned about the well-being of the universe, the earth, the country, the nation, especially the surrounding weeping willow. You spoke in our WeChat group: “You said, is your cousin sick?”

“Are you dizzy better? Check your blood pressure, take a picture and send it out.” I asked. Photos sent: diastolic blood pressure 120 mmHg, systolic blood pressure 170 mmHg.

“Have you taken antihypertensive medicine recently? Have you taken it on time, according to the amount, and as prescribed by the doctor?” I asked.

“The medicine seems to be gone, it’s finished long ago.”

You seem to be conscious.

“You know, the first reason for the ineffective treatment is that the patient does not follow the doctor’s orders. Do you still care about other people’s affairs? You give me the doctor’s order given to you by the doctor. Regarding the type of medicine, the amount of medicine, and the method of administration, I will help you ask a third party Expert. Alas, did you implement this medical order or did you not implement it? How much did you implement? If you don’t tell the truth, the most powerful experts will not be able to help you!”

“My medicine has been found again. I will take a little now and lie down again, and it will be better.”

“Antihypertensive drugs should be taken on time and in amount. I have told you countless times. If you can’t feel asymptomatic anymore, just stop the drug!”

“Don’t yell at me. I ignore you. I take a rest. If it doesn’t work well, I will go to the hospital by myself tomorrow. I don’t bother you. I will treat you three as if I had no birth.”

“If you have vomiting, especially jet vomiting, or headaches, call 120 and call an ambulance. I can arrange a car to take you to your designated hospital. I hope you don’t go to the hospital I invest in, and I hope you don’t engage in special It’s a waste of medical resources. Last time you claimed to have knee pain. You went to the hospital where I invested without telling me. You lived in a single room and did not leave the hospital. Two weeks later, I returned to China and forced you to leave the hospital. . I hope you will not be special, otherwise it will be difficult for me to be a human being.”

“Don’t nag me, I have nothing to do with you. The hospital you invest in is also open for business, and I can go to it myself. Don’t worry, even if I can go by myself, I will not go, and your investment will fail! If you do Minister of Health, I can’t go to all the hospitals in China? A joke! I went to Union Hospital? No, you graduated from there. I went to Beijing Hospital? No, the little nurse who likes you was promoted to the head nurse. Go to other tertiary hospitals in Beijing? I don’t know people, and I don’t know how to register. I can’t get a CT scan. Why should I go there? If others recognize me as your mother, I can’t deny it. You are not. Always say, do you have to be honest? I want to rest, I won’t bother you, and don’t bother me.”

Seeing your enthusiasm and clear logic in the WeChat group, my judgment is that you have nothing to do with it. You just pretend not to take antihypertensive drugs and your blood pressure is not well controlled.

I called my dean: “Dean Guo, I know that my mother has your phone. If she calls you, oh, I have already called. If she comes to our hospital, let her receive normal treatment. Treat her as a normal patient and don’t give her any special treatment. I can’t stop her from asking too much, but I try to stop you from meeting her too much.” I then called my driver: “My mother said dizziness, I guess it’s okay. If she has an emergency to call you, you can take her to the emergency department. If she asks you to take her to the outpatient clinic, you should also take it. But remember two things: First Let her pay by herself. You don’t pay a penny. Second, don’t ask for any special treatment. If my mother asks, you should try to stop her. If it doesn’t work, you can call me at any time.”

I gradually realized that the rules and regulations are no longer valid for you, and I should treat you as a child. In this world, you have your magic in the world, and I also have my way of dealing with it. To give up leading you to various rules is to let myself go.

Putting down the phone, I asked a friend of mine on WeChat: “How do I get along with my mother?” His answer was: “What do you think! Humans haven’t evolved to that level. This is impossible!”

(Qing Tiao is taken from WeChat public account “Feng Tang”, Gou Bentu)

Philosophy traces the fundamental truth and makes all kinds of truth go through. Pursuing the fundamental truth is not an infinite pursuit, but a reflection on what the truth is.

——Chen Jiaying

Love turned out to be like this, oneself can be naked, but is willing to impose all the feathers on the other party without reservation.

——Bi Feiyu

A person’s life can leave traces in many places, life itself washes some, and others are retained. You must remember those who retain.

——Su Tong

Beauty is something awe-inspiring, with the meaning of rejection, and the meaning of hitting; it looks good, but it is gentle, kind, and a little understanding.

——Wang Anyi