I did not miss you very deliberately, but in many, many small moments, I thought of you. For example, watching a movie, listening to a song, humming a lyrics, crossing a road and closing my eyes in countless moments…
I started learning to play the guitar in the summer when I graduated from junior high school.
After a long vacation without homework, I came back from a trip and had nearly two months left. I happened to see street performers playing the guitar while traveling. I thought it was too cool. The first thing I did when I went home was to go to the art school to sign up and buy a guitar to develop a specialty.
I went to art school for the first day with a guitar on my back, looking for a classroom in the long corridor. As I passed the piano classroom, I looked up and saw a boy practicing through the glass on the door. His waist was straight, and his hands flicked strangely on the black and white keys. The sun shines on the piano through the window, and the boys’ hands are surprisingly beautiful.
I stopped and listened for a while at the door. The boys were practicing “Castle in the Sky”, in a daze, they felt like a tornado and came too fast. Ever since, I knocked on the door and walked in: “Wow, you played great, I really like this song.”
The boy said shyly and coldly: “Thank you, are you here to practice piano? I have to practice for a while here. You can go to the piano room next door.”
In fact, I just wanted to say hello, but I didn’t expect to meet M just like that.
He was very cold, and he started blasting people without a few words: “It’s my practice time now, is there anything else for you?”
“Yes, it’s the first time I have come to class. Where is the guitar classroom?”
“This is the piano classroom on the second floor, and the guitar classroom on the third floor.”
Beginners to learn guitar naturally start with a simple knowledge of music theory, which is indispensable to beat the beat, and climb the grid while practicing the beat. My fingers rose and fell on the strings, and it hurt in a while. Before I came to school, I never thought that practicing piano would be so hard. Later, I realized that practicing piano is still a boring thing, but I persisted, part of the reason is M.
After the first day of class, when I finished, M’s piano class was over. I ran into him who was going downstairs with my guitar on my back. I greeted him: “M, let’s go together.”
M said to me with a gentlemanly demeanor: “I’ll help you memorize the guitar for a while.” Just such a sentence makes me feel that a boy who learns piano is a gentleman.
Once, I said that my fingers were a little painful when I played the guitar at first, and M said, “I’ll work hard for a week, and I’ll be fine.” Look, M is not only “cold” but also “straight.” Every day, I and M have the same class time, and we are familiar with each other once and again, and we are still admitted to the same high school, but I am in the ordinary class and he is in the elite class. M is serious about learning piano. I originally thought he was learning a musical instrument to add points to the college entrance examination, but he learned it so seriously because of pure love, which made me feel embarrassed if I didn’t work hard, as if I was sorry for “because of love”. A few words.
After the last class of the holiday, I ran to the piano classroom to find M, patted the piano, and said sensationally: “Mr, we may not be able to see it in the future. I am not in a very beautiful mood.”
M smiled slightly: “Then I will play a sunny song for you?” As he said, his fingers walked smoothly on the piano. At the end of a song, when I was moving, he said: “Aren’t we in the same high school?”
Except for my classmates in junior high school, M is undoubtedly a familiar friend in my new school. Self-study ends very late every night. There is no bus. If you don’t have your parents to pick you up, you have to take a taxi home. My home and M’s home are not far away. If you share a car, it’s on the way, so I will wait for M to go together.
On New Year’s Day, the school held an evening party, and I have always been lack of enthusiasm for the activity. Because I wrote about guitar when I was filling my specialty, I was ordered by the cultural committee to report the guitar fingerstyle: “Unheard Flower Name”.
It was the evening self-study and the end of get out of class as usual. We went out of the school together. When I passed the boutique at the door, I saw Christmas gifts in the window. I tugged at the corner of M and pointed to the window: “Wow, that Christmas tree hairpin is so cute!”
M looked at it: “It’s very cute, do you want to buy it?”
“Forget it, the hairpin is cute, but I’m not cute.”
“It’s not cute.”
“Hey, I am self-effacing and self-effacing!”
“It’s self-knowledge, not self-humility.”
Fortunately, I have become accustomed to this kind of dialogue, but just stepped on his foot as a warning, and M screamed in pain.
Before the New Year’s Day holiday, the party went on as scheduled.
When I was about to enter the stage, I suddenly became too nervous and left my seat, ready to go out to calm my emotions. While I was pacing in the aisle, M came over: “Secretly tell you, I…I’m afraid of performing in public.”
“Then last time you participated in a speech contest? Still speaking with a melodious and powerful voice?”
“That was the class teacher who asked me to go. I was so nervous that my legs were shaking all the time. Fortunately, a table in front of me blocked my legs.”
I laughed and patted M on the shoulder: “Don’t worry, I will keep a secret for you.”
At this moment, I suddenly stopped being nervous.
Not surprisingly, I won the participation award. When the award was presented, the clapping voice of student M sitting in the front row overwhelmed most of the venue.
After the party, I will wait for M as usual. M walked over and naturally removed the guitar from my shoulders and put it on his back.
“Do you think I’m super awesome?” I blinked at him and asked.
“Well, the focus is on participation.”
“Have you listened carefully?”
My Nunu mouth: “Oh!”
Once again I got out of the car first, I took the guitar and waved goodbye to him. M also got out of the car, and suddenly poke my back twice, and said: “Sunflower acupuncture hand!” I was also very cooperative and stopped moving.
M took out the Christmas tree hairpin from his pocket, the one I saw when I walked through the boutique together that day. He pinned the broken hair on my forehead behind his ears with a hairpin, and straightened the hair behind me, and finally poked my back twice: “Untie!” Then he waved his hand and ran away quickly .
I took off the hairpin, smiled dumbly, and jumped up on the spot: “M, thank you!”
At the beginning of the semester of higher school, M’s mother rented a house next to the school to accompany him to take care of him. I simply rode a bicycle to and from school.
On New Year’s Eve in the third year of high school, M brought up a lantern to call me at the door of our class. I don’t know what happened that year. That night, an army of sky lanterns gathered on the football field. Among them were me and M. Regrettably, the Kong Ming Lantern of both of us, who wrote “a great victory in the college entrance examination, a dream come true, peace and joy”, did not fly because of an operating error. We both squatted frustratedly on the side of the playground watching other people’s Kongming lanterns slowly rise, exchanged disgusting glances, and finally walked on the track.
Looking at the night sky dotted with the dim light of Kongming lanterns, M said to make a wish quickly so that other people’s Kongming lanterns can also take off with our wishes. He asked me if I was cold, and I said if I was cold. He touched my hand and it was cold. He said, let me warm your hands. I thought he would hold my hand. Unexpectedly, he just clamped my hands under his armpits and we stood there face to face. I clearly heard the thumping heartbeat of my own heartbeat, the feeling of anxiety like a deer, enough for me to remember for many years.
After M went to university, their family moved to Beijing. And I still stay in this small city, go to a good university, and lead a so-so life. We have very little contact now, and have never seen each other after graduating from high school.
Later I saw this passage: “I didn’t miss you very deliberately, but in many, many small moments, I thought of you. For example, watching a movie, listening to a song, humming a lyrics, crossing a street and countless The moment I close my eyes…”
That kind of yearning is warm and beautiful.
What a fortunate thing to be treated tenderly when I was young, and I have always loved the guitar.