1. Marriage is like old shoes, it’s comfortable after running together
Recently, the third reading of the famous author Yang Jiang’s work “We San” has a deeper understanding of marriage!
In the book, Yang Jiang mentioned that Qian Zhongshu’s family hoped that he would go to Lantian to serve as the head of the English Department, while also serving his father. At that time, Qian Zhongshu was working at Tsinghua University. He naturally did not want to work in Lantian, but he felt that he should go. Yang Jiang didn’t want him to go either, thinking that he should tell his family about the improper reason.
Yang Jiang told his father about these things, hoping that his father could say something, but his father said nothing. My father’s silence inspired Yang Jiang to think deeply, “Where one’s provenance is a matter of a lifetime, when I make my own choice, I can only tell my truth and should not intervene; especially, I should not force him to rebel against his parents.” After the point, Yang Jiang didn’t say anything and didn’t add distress to Qian Zhongshu, who was bothered. I used to quarrel for a French pronunciation, but now I can tolerate such major changes in my work place. This is a process of marriage between Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu. It is such a small one that only finally has 63 years of happiness. Happy marriage.
The fairy couple Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu still need to run in their marriage, not to mention the marriage of our ordinary sons? The writer Lin Yutang once said: “The so-called happy marriage is just the result of couples accommodating each other and getting used to it, just like an old pair of shoes, they become fit when they wear them for a long time.” Adapting to each other and getting used to it fit together, making people feel tired in marriage. It is not a high mountain in the distance, but it is often a feather in life. Accompanying the old happy marriage, not only must be romantic and sweet, but also must be smooth.
2. Love can run fast, but marriage can only grow slowly
The well-known presenters Yang Lan and Wu Zheng’s couple’s marital life for more than 20 years is also enviable. Yang Lan wrote in the book “The World Is Large, Fortunately You”, the love of the two ran all the way, without any care. Wu Zheng took out the ring on the taxi and proposed to her. Less than a year after they met, the two entered the palace of marriage.
It was also discovered afterwards that the two were in perfect harmony. Love the same book, love to eat the same food, love each other, feel that the two are destined to be a pair. Even with such a romantic and co-produced love, Yang Lan found that it is easy to fall in love but not easy to get along with. “When the passion made by hormones slowly recedes, the trivialness of oil, salt, sauce and vinegar tea slowly wears away romance, taking care of children’s eating and drinking Lasa makes you sleepless, and the high pressure of work and the separation of travel; when you expect the other party to understand your When I unconsciously raised my voice, I was arguing blushing for different opinions.” In the book, I describe my marital life. It can be seen that the two have also had disappointments and quarrels in their marital life. However, by slowly running together, the two have a rare tacit understanding and understanding, a deeper understanding and tolerance of each other, and More righteousness and kindness.
As American writer Mark Twain said, love can run fast, but marriage can only grow slowly. Love is happy and happy, but marriage can only gradually merge in the plain and cumbersome years. Just like two stones in the river, they become smooth in the collision and friction, and finally, they will get along smoothly. Anyone’s marriage will eventually fall into the finely divided fireworks and the life’s feathers, and what really drives the long-term happiness of the marriage is not passionate love. It is precisely these finely divided fireworks and everyday feathers and skins. Therefore, the coexistence of tenderness and affection and furry skin is the normal state of life. A happy and happy marriage must not only enjoy tenderness and tenderness, but also clean up the furry skin.
3. Easy and happy marriage is to find out the pulse of each other in the running-in, avoiding the minefield
Last year, Song Huiqiao and Song Zhongji, married due to the drama, ended in divorce less than two years after marriage. From the screen couples in the play to the real couples outside the play, the two are evenly matched in strength. They are known as a match made in heaven. A fairy tale-like love story once made netizens envious. The two loved each other so passionately that they were too late to announce their relationship and directly announce their marriage. During that time, it was a sweet interaction between the two, and the smell of love radiated everywhere.
However, less than two years later, it was reported that Song Huiqiao did not wear a wedding ring and other negative news. The two issued a statement such as “dissonance” and finally ended the short marriage quickly. Shuang Song’s marriage finally parted ways, the real reason is not known to outsiders, but it is enough to confirm that the two only saw the romantic sweetness of the marriage, but did not see the marriage need to run together. Someone once commented on the reason for the breakup of Shuang Song’s marriage: after cooling down, they discovered that there are many differences between each other and they still have to run in in the future. Before they got married, they found a way to seek common ground while reserving differences. Take it seriously! Even if there are differences after marriage, there is no emergency divorce. You can first give the marriage a way out, and slowly work together in seeking common ground while reserving differences.
There are tens of thousands of reasons for divorce, but there are indeed traces to the old marriage, that is, it can withstand the run-in.
The younger sister and brother-in-law fell in love at first sight and got married more than four months ago, but within two months of getting married, the younger sister clamored for divorce. The brother-in-law was careful but slow. The younger sister thought he was grinning, saying that he would take at least two hours to wash the dishes at a time; the younger brother was upset that the younger sister mocked his eyes as thin and small as needles. They kept arguing about something trivial, and the two looked down on each other and divorced. We learned after the chat that the brother-in-law just thought that the place for cooking must be clean and related to the health of his family, so he paid extra attention to the hygiene of the kitchen, and the sister thought that the little eyes of the brother-in-law were very cute and deliberately teased him. The brother-in-law was angry because He was annoyed to be ridiculed by his small eyes. Now that the two have re-divided their chores, the brother-in-law does things much faster, and the younger sister does not always take his fiction.
Emotional writer Li Ailing said: “Easy and happy marriages are two people who know how to understand each other’s pulse, avoid the minefield, and stop at the right end, without pushing the other person to a dead end, leaving room for others.” The process of Maimen and the minefield is a process of running in between the two parties. When they encounter the feathers and garlic, they will leave room for each other, and the marital life will naturally live alive.
4. Running-in in marriage is like a dental appliance
Zhang Zhilin and Yuan Yongyi are recognized model couples in the entertainment industry. But in daily life, there will still be quarrels over small things like eating on the street, and then a cold war, and finally break in. Zhang Zhilin revealed in the interview that after the running-in, the two’s gears still cannot be 100% matched, and there is no one until now. They can only run in every day. The two barely survived their lives. Zhang Zhilin and Yuan Yongyi worked together day by day, and finally achieved a happy marriage.
There is a line in the TV series “Mr. Love” that says very well: “In fact, this man and woman are like human upper teeth and lower teeth. Although they are destined to coexist, they may not be so compatible. Marriage is like this appliance. Although It seems to put a hoop on the other side, and there will be pain in the process, but the two sides will come together perfectly.” The running in marriage is like a dental appliance. Although the process is painful, it will eventually be perfect.
It is necessary to talk about the wind and snow, and also to be able to withstand the oil and salt of the rice, to understand each other’s tolerance, but also to blend in the fur of the chicken, to be happy for a long time, and finally get a happy marriage!