30 golden rules of interpersonal communication

Think about what is causing most troubles in our lives? He didn’t wait for other people’s news, but brushed the circle of friends he had just shared; colleagues with bad relationships, who were uncomfortable when they appeared in the office; wanted to eat the newly opened hot pot, but couldn’t find someone to meet… … Many times not because of money, but because of a little friction in interpersonal communication, which brings us negative emotions. Good interpersonal relationships can make us feel comfortable and face life optimistically. When you need help in your life and career, some people can appear in time to help you out of trouble. Today I will share some simple tips for interpersonal communication to solve some confusions in interpersonal communication. Really enjoy the happiness brought by interpersonal communication and become a more popular person.

Don’t overestimate your relationship with anyone or underestimate anyone around you. Many relationships are actually fragile and cannot stand the test of a conflict. Many people are unremarkable, but they may do you a great favor at a critical time.

Do not label others at will, but learn to label yourself. People don’t know himself better than the other party, and arrogant evaluation will only be disgusted. Introducing yourself on some occasions, “tagging” will let others know more about you, and is also sending out friend invitations to people with common hobbies and personality. A “programmer who loves to play tennis” is much easier to remember than a “programmer with no characteristics”.

Praising others is the best way to get closer. Just the right praise will make the other party feel valued and make the whole atmosphere more harmonious. The other party will also tend to give a response, in order to find your strengths, deepen your impression and favor.

Be good at listening, don’t just focus on expressing your opinions, and give others the opportunity to speak. In communication, people often remember their feelings rather than their content when they talk to each other. People are more concerned about expressing their own ideas than the other’s. Long speeches can only be annoying, and it is taboo to interrupt others. Want to be popular among the crowd, first learn to be a good listener.

Don’t hesitate when declining, flashing words are annoying. In the face of unacceptable requests, you must refuse them generously and explain the reason with sincere attitude and the shortest time. Procrastinating will only make the other person feel that this person is making excuses, and his favorability for him will continue to decrease.

Not expressing is a kind of expressing. The adult world has too many unspoken words to learn to see through other people’s “not expressiveness”. When you’re showing off, you put away your curiosity. Since the other party has left a comfortable distance, stop pushing others to the corner.

If you want to be a person who keeps your promise, the secret is not to make a promise easily. Most people remember the promises from others, but often forget the promises they made. Before making a commitment, consider the consequences. A loss of trust may destroy all the trust established before.

Don’t intervene in the struggle of others. It was originally a matter between two people, but some people always like to run over to stand in line. The targeted party will transfer hatred towards another person to the person who “helps kindly”. We’ve seen too many third-party interventions, and few will end well.

You cannot please everyone. Get along with people and naturally show yourself. People care more about the feeling of getting along with each other. Show yourself, don’t pay too much attention to details, people who like you will naturally approach you.

When you are in trouble, be calm and don’t get angry in front of others. When a person is angry, others will easily see the weakness. When you are angry, unreasonable words and deeds will hurt the people you care about, and you will see jokes for people you don’t like.

Friendship worthy of cherishing, never need to deliberately operate. Really good friends are those who walk together and sometimes play with each other, and will not feel embarrassed when they talk again. And those deliberate relationships that require you to always find the topic, attract his attention, play funny and ugly, the only thing you can get at the end is the polite greeting and laughter at the goodbye. The choice between the two parties without pressure is a friendship to be cherished. It does not have a status tilt, there is no unilateral favor, and some are simple and pure happiness.

It is shameful to ask for help. Ask politely, others will not look down on you for this reason. We can’t do everything right, and sometimes we need help from others. Be polite and ask others to help, don’t worry about being rejected, others will need your help sometimes. If it is not sincere and impolite to ask for help, anyone who could have helped you will leave you behind.

Interact with people who are similar to Sanguan. The similar Sanguan is the best preservative, and the relationship between two people can stand the test of time and distance. Friendships established for short-term interests and relationships cannot last long.

From time to time, the other party feels that it is needed and can maintain a stable relationship for a long time. In a relationship, it is not always possible for one person to pay unilaterally and give the other person the feeling of being “needed” in a timely manner. I tried cooking for myself for a while, and called my mother to ask her how to choose fresh meat. I can feel the change in the tone and mood of the mother on the phone. I usually make a simple phone call this time for more than an hour. After that, I often tell me which dishes should not be eaten together. Don’t be afraid to disturb others. The trouble in your eyes is the security of your loved ones.

Don’t lend others’ money, nor easily lend others money. Adult relationships are ruined by borrowing money, and even more so by asking for money. If you have to borrow money, we will see how fragile many interpersonal relationships are in front of money and benefits. So less than a last resort, don’t put friendship on the dissecting table of money.

Don’t lie and lie, all you can cheat are those who believe in you. In interpersonal communication, people will retain a skeptical attitude. This is a normal kind of self-protection, and most people only get off guard when dealing with people close to them. So don’t lie and lie, it will only hurt those who believe in you and alienate others.

Don’t apply the rules of social interaction to the relationship between friends and relatives. Relatives and friends are more emotionally maintained, and in front of them we can give up some harmless principles. What they need is your hug and comfort, not the cold road principles.

Life is not easy for everyone, don’t always complain to others. Work is busy, stressful, and life is tiring, these are not just happening to you. This is also true for most people. Talk more about happy things, no more negative energy is needed in life.

Don’t say too full, don’t get acquainted too fast. Before you are absolutely sure about things, don’t be too full, leave everything behind, and you won’t embarrass yourself. Don’t get acquainted too quickly, whether it is love or friendship, come and go quickly.

Don’t try to impose what you think is correct and change others. Most people overestimate themselves and underestimate others. I feel that my opinions are superior, and others’ ideas are silly. But we will not know ourselves better than the other party. Even if your suggestions are correct, they will think you are wrong because of cognitive gaps; or think this person is self-righteous and uncomfortable. Such behavior has no benefit in interpersonal communication and should be avoided.

twenty one
Say dissatisfaction in time, and don’t let problems and emotions stay overnight. Many times, the contradiction between two people comes from one person’s unintentional loss. Sometimes it is best to express your opinions and feelings in the first place. Solving problems in a timely manner is the best way for two people to maintain effective communication for a long time. The cold war between couples is terrible, and many small contradictions will become a big trouble after a few days of fermentation.

twenty two
People change, and it’s not surprising that friends who haven’t seen them for years have nothing to say. Time has changed a lot of things, and it has led us to diverge on different roads and meet different people and things. When they met again, both parties were different. As we grow older, we have to accept the alienation of a relationship.

twenty three
Remembering the name, hometown, and occupation of the other party makes it easier to build a goodwill. We meet many people every day, and often encounter situations where we forget the names of others. Clearly remember everyone’s name, hometown and occupation. The other party will improve your score in your heart and be more willing to establish a long-term relationship with you.

twenty four
Don’t live in the praise and criticism of others. Don’t rely on the outside world to build your heart, and don’t lose yourself in any relationship. We have to figure out that the script of our life is not a sequel to our parents, not a prequel to our children, and it is not a story from a friend.

When you send a message to others, don’t ask “Are you there?” If you have something to say directly, others will naturally reply when they see it. Adult communication strives to be tidy and eliminate unnecessary intermediate links. If it is a friend who has not been in contact for a long time, the other party may even suspect that you want to borrow money and deliberately choose not to return.

When asking others questions, think about it in your head. If you ask someone else’s question, you must think about it first. If you can’t solve the problem, think about the steps of asking questions first. If you can’t even tell your situation, ask questions like “How can I improve myself?” “What job should I look for?” will leave others speechless. If the question is not implemented, there is no way to answer it. It will only waste the time of both parties.

If you can type and make phone calls, do not send long voices. If it is text, I can quickly understand what you mean; if it is a phone, I can understand all the details; if it is a long voice, I often listen to it twice and do not understand what you want to express. Communication is to solve difficulties, and speaking is to create difficulties.

Get a sense of proportionality with anyone. If you cherish a person, you should keep your distance properly, and couples are no exception. Give each other a little more space and cherish the time you spend with each other. Too close is the beginning of conflict and alienation.

When someone asks you for your opinion, don’t always say “casually”, but let the other person understand your attitude. When someone asks for your opinion, give someone a definite idea and answer. Always ambiguous and will cause inconvenience and doubt to the other party. Over time, you will also habitually ignore your opinions and feelings, because your words do not have “weight”.

Don’t smoke at random in other people’s homes. Maybe the other party will take out the cigarette to entertain you, but the best way is to put it down and put it aside. Especially for people who are already in a family, you don’t know how much the other half of the person and the children hate smoke. In order to make a good impression, we not only have to take care of each other, but also consider the feelings of the person closest to each other.