That afternoon, because I went out for a meeting, I got home an hour earlier than usual.
Before entering the community, I saw the back of my son Ning Ning from a distance. To my surprise, there was a girl wearing the same school uniform beside him, and the two of them even held hands.
After calming down, I restrained my urge to stop Ning Ning and slowly followed behind them. I didn’t stop him until the two broke up. Ning Ning was a little flustered, obviously he was also afraid that I saw the scene just now. I tried my best to restrain my emotions and went upstairs quietly with Ning Ning. He entered the room to do his homework, while I was cooking dinner thinking about how to solve this difficult problem.
Ning Ning has just entered the second year of this year, with a simple personality. I often feel that he is still like a child who has not grown up.
Thinking again and again, I decided to talk to Ning Ning.
“Ning Ning, the girl who walked with you in the afternoon is your classmate, what is her name?” I tried my best to express Yan Yue, Ning Ning’s reaction was still very nervous. “It’s my classmate, what’s wrong?” “Nothing, just ask.” I thought for a while, “Mom feels that you have a good relationship with her, especially want to know how her character is, why Ning Ning likes to be with her. “Confirmed that I am not hostile, Ning Ning hesitated to disclose a little about the girl: the girl named Yue Yue, his classmates, Yue Yue cheerful and lively, while singing and dancing, is in the class The famous pistachios are loved by boys and girls.
I was a little relieved. A character like Yueyue, Ning Ning likes her is also normal. Heterosexual attraction, you don’t have to be too nervous. Thinking of this, I said to Ning Ning: “Since you are so close to Yue Yue, you can invite Yue Yue to play at home later.” He looked at me questioningly, and there was both joy and some uneasiness in his expression. “Mum only has one requirement. As good friends, you and Yueyue can’t learn because of interaction. I hope you can promote each other and help each other to make yourself better.” Ning Ning’s eyes are still confused, but his expression is obvious Relaxed.
My mood also seemed a little lighter. Judging from Ning Ning’s attitude, my strategy of “retreating for advance” still has a certain effect.
Follow the trend and correct your child’s “bad” habits
In fact, since Ning Ning was a child, I rarely like some parents who like to “force” children to act according to their wishes. Every child’s instincts are curious, and sometimes they behave more “rebelliously”. The more parents don’t want and don’t want them to do things, the more they try to do and practice. If parents blindly ask their children to correct and not do “wrong” things according to their own ideas, it will only arouse their resentment and make them worse. It’s better to “follow” them. When their curiosity passes, they also learn to look at the problem sensibly, but can consciously change it.
Of course, this is also the result of my “eat a long grain and grow a wisdom”.
I still remember when Ning Ning was five or six years old, he always refused to eat well for a while, but had a soft spot for snacks. Seeing that the other children are white and fat, Ning Ning is thin and small, but it makes me anxious.
In order to allow Ning Ning to have a good meal, I will stop letting snacks enter the house. Moreover, I tried my best to turn the patterns and make the food colorful, always thinking that this would change the children’s eating habits.
However, Ning Ning’s “persistence” is beyond my imagination. Every time he eats, he will pretend to be stupid, and he will talk about him; or he will come to resist in the end and refuse to eat with his teeth clenched. I don’t even use deception. Seeing me flushed with rage, he said leisurely: “Mom, you promised me to eat potato chips and I will eat.”
Once, my mother-in-law gave us a bag of walnuts, and I put it on the table. Unexpectedly, Ning Ning saw that the greedy worm was aroused at once, and even learned the way we were, and took the walnut to the door to clamp it. He was crying because he didn’t want the collar clip to get his hand.
I was angry and distressed. Suddenly I turned around: if blindly stopping children from eating snacks, it would only inspire his cravings for snacks. It would be better to guide him reasonably and appropriately to meet his wishes. Maybe He will not be so persistent. What’s more, not all snacks are harmful, and there are many healthy snacks, such as nuts and yogurt, which are good for children’s health.
So, since then, I have an agreement with Ning Ning: You can eat a little snacks in moderation every day, but only if you eat well.
Not to mention, this method really works.
Ning Ning has since developed a good habit of eating well, and I don’t say anything. Every day between three meals, I “reward” him a little snack in time. Of course, the most important thing is to focus on healthy snacks. Sometimes, snacks such as potato chips and sweets are added to the taste, which are generally popular with children. Although it is not healthy, it is occasionally not a problem.
After this matter, I have summed up the truth. In fact, as long as you communicate with your child well and follow the trend, you can completely correct your child’s “bad” habits.
The same happened later. In the fourth grade of Ningning Elementary School, he was hooked on a very popular computer game. I certainly know the dangers of games to children, but I also know that if I blindly stop him from playing, it will only inspire his rebellious psychology even more. Maybe he will follow my meaning on the surface, but it is difficult to say in the back. Rather than letting the child learn to be yangfengyin, it is better to give him space.
So, Ning Ning and I made another “Gentleman’s Covenant”. It is okay to play games, but there is a time limit. You can play for an hour each on two days a week on weekends, but you can’t touch outside the prescribed time. Because you are a student, the main task is still based on learning.
I am gratified that Ning Ning adhered to the agreement and did not affect learning because of the game. Although he sometimes refuses to let go of the game, but as soon as I use my eyes to signal, he obediently put it down. Because I obeyed the rules first, I told him to play for them on the weekend, and never excuse him to deprive him of the right to play the game, so he should also obey the rules and end the game within the agreed time.
These successful examples fully illustrate that “sparseness” is much more effective than “blocking” and the effect is much better.
Reason helps children through extraordinary times
After the showdown with Ningning, I have been observing his movements. I have been thinking about how to minimize the impact of “early love” on him? After all, emotional matters are not as simple as eating snacks or playing games. This is the result of interaction between the two parties.
It happened to be Ning Ning’s birthday soon. I was so excited that Ning Ning invited Yue Yue to come home for a birthday together. I told him that fourteen years old is the starting point from a teenager to a young man, is the beginning from childishness to maturity, and is a crucial moment in the growth process of life, so Yue Yue should be witnessed together. I said this, Ning Ning immediately agreed happily.
On the birthday, Yue Yue came to the appointment on time.
Yueyue really is a cheerful girl, and she chatted with me in no time. She told me many anecdotes and anecdotes at the school and also talked about her hobbies and ideals. Yue Yue said she wanted to become a cartoonist in the future. I said great, Ning Ning’s ideal is to become a professional game player. Since you all have goals, you should encourage and supervise each other, and work hard to achieve your ideals.
Yue Yue nodded frequently, she said I am amiable, she likes my aunt very much. Before leaving, I also told her to welcome her to come to play often at home, you can also come to me to talk about anything.
I also specifically asked Ning Ning to send Yue Yue home and told him that it was too late and it was not safe for girls to go home alone.
After that, I found that Ning Ning was willing to say anything to me, especially his interaction with Yue Yue did not hide from me. I told him while the iron was hot that it was normal for boys and girls to have good feelings with each other, but we must grasp the degree of it, and do n’t let the emotions be consumed too quickly, otherwise it will be less beautiful if you lose the mystery.
Ning Ning nodded, seemingly incomprehensible. I took the opportunity to call him again. If a guy really likes a girl, he should make himself stronger, so that he can better care for and protect the girl. The only way to make yourself stronger is to study hard and make yourself better.
This time, Ning Ning really understood. He said to me seriously: “Mom, you can rest assured. I will study hard to make myself better.”
I smiled happily. Although I do n’t know what the future of Ningning and Yueyue will be, I can be sure that because of my rational handling, things have not been further intensified, and Ningning and Yueyue have not embarked on the “twisted” road that ordinary parents will worry about.
In fact, every child will go through a very different stage of life. Taking advantage of the situation, reasonably satisfying the child’s wishes will help the child to get through smoothly; on the contrary, persevering and walking alone will have to screw up with the child, but will push the child farther .