Hold on to these whistling years

When the bedroom floor was drowned in the thick twilight with the sound of insects deep in the corner, the piano music in the headphones came to an abrupt end. Under the dim light of the warm evening, the outline of the history just reviewed is still displayed. In the dark bedroom, the roommates’ faint snoring has come and gone.

The late spring in the south is already stained with the breath of summer. A short walk from the bedroom to the classroom can make a layer of slimy sweat on people. The large gardenia blooming in the flower bed downstairs can calm people’s hearts a lot, but no one except me knows how anxious I was a week ago.

I was still a “little child” immersed in the rebellious period in high school. My behavioral thoughts were extremely immature. I thought it was the so-called growth to do with my parents and teachers. The youth who clamored for learning was too boring. . When I entered the second year of high school, it seemed like I was suddenly sensible. I knew that the study today is to get the future I want. The effort during that time did not disappoint me, and the results were like being on a rocket to rise to the top 20 in the grade, which was surprisingly smooth.

But looking at the dark red marks on his arm that were scratched by his own nails, he realized that in others’ eyes, suddenly he had an enviable achievement and did not worship fate. I used to run to the toilet in countless classes, just to have 8 minutes to do 3 basic language questions; I brushed my teeth and stared at the post-it notes on the mirror in the morning, just to be more Memorize a few English words.

But I am more afraid of the so-called “smooth sailing” I experienced. In the moral education class arranged by the school, after listening to so many stories about Xueba’s victory over the college entrance examination, they seemed to have mentioned, without exception, a word that made me a little bit afraid-the bottleneck period.

And my bottleneck was finally overdue, less than two months before the college entrance examination.

At first I only thought that I had failed because of an accidental Chinese composition test, but then the falling scores on the weekly mock test ranking table surprised me, even shuddering. Although it is still in the top 50 in the grade, I understand that in this science-based school, 50 and 20 are the difference between the second and the duplicate.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the expressive, cautious eyes that teachers of each subject looked at me. Nowadays, I am not only lagging behind in the worst literature comprehensive scores, but also the English that was so proud of the teacher. I ca n’t seem to find the key points in reading comprehension. The two-point option is wrong.

My mood began to grow restless. It was already April, and from the 100th day oaths conference to the entrance to the college entrance examination, the middle distance had already gone almost halfway.

Suddenly I felt that the term college entrance examination had a strange feeling. Probably from elementary school, we were quizzed by parents and asked what university to study in the future, and when we were young, we always pronounced the words “Tsinghua” and “Beijing University” with young voices, and then watched the adults satisfied and The expected eyes laughed silly. Later, when I went to junior high school, we heard more and more universities in our ears. We knew that “Tsinghua” and “Beijing University” were not everyone ’s dreams, and we could n’t get the admission notice by speaking casually, so we Turn your goals to other colleges and think about an infinitely better future life.

We finally reached the third year of high school, and our busy schoolwork and heavy study pressure made us a little breathless. The university that used to be in the mouth seems to be distant and fuzzy, especially when the college entrance examination is near, the dreams and goals seem to have no clear definition, and they may even suspect that this is really the one that was broken in the mouth by parents and teachers in the past Have you read it a thousand times, and you have a college entrance examination in your heart that you are silently determined to fight for? It turned out that it was really coming, and it was no longer just a distant word.

I can’t say anything comforting myself. I know how to motivate myself better than sighing and complaining. I continued the habit that I had adhered to for almost two years. When I heard the alarm sound of getting up every day, I rushed out of the quilt. After washing in 10 minutes, I cleaned up my housework. On the way to the morning training, we must also consider the different causes of the subtropical monsoon climate and the temperate monsoon climate. The basic questions and gestalt readings that must be done daily must be completed on time and with good quality.

I sometimes quietly say to myself, just rest when you are tired, but there is another voice in my heart to comfort and encourage myself, no matter what, I have to persist for two months, even if the end is flat, Will not reap disappointment.

After the city-wide joint exam at the end of April, the head teacher finally couldn’t help calling me to the office to talk about it, but I still asked carefully if I had something in my heart. The tears that I had accumulated for a long time in my eyes could not help but flow out of my brain, but I was stung back by myself. I’m more willing to be scolded harder than the teacher for fear of hitting my eyes.

That afternoon, I took a vacation to run on the playground for no reason, but I suddenly wanted to run. I suddenly remembered that at the opening ceremony of the first day of high school, the principal said when he said, “When you are sad, distressed, and want to vent, just go for a run. The feelings that you couldn’t understand at that time have finally been put to yourself In action.

The playground during the evening was almost empty, and everything was drowned in the thick twilight. I ran hard on the track with earphones. In the earphones was Yu Yuming’s “I’m OK”. The lyrics of this song moved me especially during this period. “Even if the audience wasn’t the first to be touched, I Believe it to the last minute. Too much insincerity is just the content of the years, sighing and then moving forward … “I ran in stride with the rhythm of the song, as if I ran fast enough, I could shake off All the bad things.

After running, panting, I suddenly felt that my body had become relaxed, as if those messy emotions had evaporated with the sweat and melted into the darkness around me. I was blown all night in the stands. The smell of plastic runway and camphor tree made me feel a little confused. I chose to go to the school library to empty myself. Yuan Ziwen and Yuan Zihao’s “We Are All the Same, Young and Stupid” easily attracted my attention, presumably because of the powerful writings on the spine of the book that made me feel that there are people in the world who share my feelings.

From the book, I finally understand that everyone ’s senior year seems to be confused and sober, without experiencing some setbacks, and how to enjoy the fruits of June alone, without any frustration. I suddenly realized that what makes me proud should not just look like A good result should be the determination to remain calm and never give up when facing difficulties.

After returning to the bedroom, my heart was unexpectedly calm. A few days later, the mock test again achieved beautiful results as in the past. I probably defeated my sudden panic before the college entrance examination. It turns out that this is the case with youth. The college entrance examination is never a competition with others, but a war with your own little monster. You can defeat it, and it will be transformed into your own more powerful force.

I thought that the long-distance June 7 was coming soon, but it turned out that it suddenly didn’t matter so much. I finally understood what made me proud, and my future self will surely continue the power brought to me by the senior year. No matter what happens in the future, I will sigh gently as the lyrics sing and keep moving forward.