At a certain stage of marriage, contradictions and problems are inevitable. In the face of this hurdle, escape is not the way. Only by actively learning can you blame and upgrade, and let your marriage pass through customs!
Yan Yu and Su Zhi raised a Su Mu, who had no time to have children. They treat dogs as their own children. That night, Yan Yu found that the dog was out of spirit. She packed her things and took it to the pet hospital, but was stopped by Su Zhi and asked her to observe for another night. Yan Yu was unwilling, but didn’t want to quarrel, so he didn’t go.
The next day, the dog’s condition got worse. Yan Yu rushed to the pet hospital with her in her arms. The doctor said that if she was delivered earlier, she only needed an infusion. Now she must have surgery, and the results are not guaranteed. Yan Yu pursed her lips and stared at Su Zhi, saying: “You can only drag on, small things become big things! One day drag our marriage to death!” Su Zhi felt Yan Yu can only complain that such a life is really boring and turned away.
Who took the choice of your life
Choice means bearing the consequences. Many people unconsciously hand over the choice to others simply because they don’t want or dare to bear the consequences deep inside, but they will always look like a victim and put themselves in endless anger and complaints. Ignorance of repentance has made the other person increasingly tired of the negative energy in the relationship. In this way, the two people have developed from estrangement to regret.
Therefore, the key is not how to communicate, but to be clear about your ego, that is, you must clearly know who you are, what you want, how you achieve your goals, and what you can pay for it.
For example, Su Zhi knew his feelings and thoughts clearly. He had the suggestion that Yan Yu should not go out late at night. As an adult, Yan Yu could refuse to accept her partner’s suggestion and insist on her own decision, but she compromised. why? Because she didn’t want to be unpleasant, if she went to the hospital that day, if the examination was not a big deal, Su Zhi would probably ridicule her for making a fuss. She didn’t want the two to always quarrel like this.
If Yan Yu really knows she loves dogs, and the goal is to ensure the health and safety of the dogs, then she can find a way to achieve this goal, instead of handing over the choice, but afterwards put the responsibility on the partner. Maybe Yan Yu cares more about the relationship between the two, then she can learn how to manage the marriage, improve harmony and happiness, rather than compromise, and complain afterwards.
Many people, like Yan Yu, live sparsely and lack self-awareness. Without knowing it, I got into a marriage killer’s carousel-I didn’t know my goal. So I surrendered my options, complained afterwards, irritated the other party, and continued to compromise for the sake of surface harmony, and then complained again and again. happy.
Clear self, reset happiness
1. Practice “Cold Look”
Work hard to get out of the present predicament and do the exercises of watching and watching. When we are helping others, we usually have a good idea. Once it is about ourselves, we are in a mess. Keep calm and calm to think about what you care about, what you want, and whether you can afford the price to achieve this goal. If you want to keep your dog safe, you may have to endure the ridicule and ridicule of your partner.
2. Learn emotional independence
“I’m going to be mad at him” is extremely common in marriage. But it is very problematic. In fact, in most cases, the partner is just an innocent scapegoat. What makes us angry is not our partner, nor is it what our partner said and did. It is our understanding of these words and actions that has caused us various emotions. Partner 唠叨, if you think he is taunting you, you will be angry; if you think he is just used to expressing his concern for you in this way, you may feel warm. Learn to take responsibility for your own feelings, and you can more and more enjoy the happiness of emotional independence.
3. Practice speaking well
Speaking well is actually very simple, you can always do it without losing your temper. The overbearing people in the family just feel comfortable spending their past emotional savings in their marriage. Think about how you treat leaders at work. How polite are you in front of outsiders? As long as you understand and respect the pillow person as an outsider in your heart, you will have the ability to speak well.
Happiness is always there, as long as you can keep clear of yourself and make yourself emotionally independent, express yourself and cherish each other. Please press your inner switch to reset your inner happiness.