Slender legs

  Jucasta wanted me to get up early in the morning, so she used the proven method she always used, which was to throw the kids on the bed and lie down with me like they were Molotov cocktails . It was a horrific scene to think about, and of course, it quickly ended my habit of lying in bed reading the newspaper that morning. However, this morning the trick failed.
  No matter how much the kids slapped around me, I couldn’t take my eyes off the big headlines on the free magazines. I read a fashion column, and usually in this column, they would announce something like “Super short this spring” or “Dark this winter”, but today’s column’s title says, Not made by me, but a true fact, “slender legs are in fashion this summer”.
  Lying in bed with my pajama belt sunk deep into the clumps of fat on my stomach, the red wine I drank last night still making my eyeballs throb, two children on my ribs I was jumping around, but I thought to myself, how should I digest and understand this information?
  I personally think that the fashion industry has already completely eliminated the secondary sexual characteristics of women, and sexy fat hips have long been The smoke disappeared, and the breasts had become a lost memory. (Thank goodness, we’ve found breasts again in the latest fashion trends, but it’s just a reminder of the fashion gurus that breasts once disappeared without knowing it.)
  It’s just mine One theory is that now fashion models are getting thinner by the day, and I am getting fatter by the day. I have very good evidence and I believe the fashion models are transferring all the fat from their butts to me, just like Lake George outside Canberra, which rises and falls according to the level of the WA rivers . Every time these models eat a hamburger, I gain two kilograms of fat.
  Now, here comes the trick again, saying “slender legs in summer”, obviously, if I want to be fashionable, I have to make my legs longer, but how can I make my legs longer?
  The entry fee in the fashion industry is already too expensive for women to afford. In today’s world, if a woman wants to be fashionable, she must first starve herself so thin that she can fall down with the touch of a finger, and then move the knife and scissors. Remove any excess skin from your face. Now, the ultimatum has come, fashion is asking us to find ways to make our legs slender and showy, maybe we have to use some medieval furniture to make our legs longer. The fashion industry is now rehabilitated and vowed not to persecute animals anymore, but They have never guaranteed not to persecute their customers.
  Lying on the bed, I was slightly sweating, frightened by the nightmare I imagined, and my son “Bat Boy” was standing at the head of the bed explaining to his brother how to treat his dad as a trampoline.
  I didn’t have time to pay them any attention, so I quickly showed Jucasta the news in this column, hoping to share the terrible news with her. Unexpectedly, she said I was stupid, and she understood that they meant that in summer, because of wearing different clothes, the legs would look very long.
  Of course, women are always naive and long-haired and short-sighted, and many of the fashion world’s ideas sound stupid, but that doesn’t stop them from implementing them. For example, in order to have plump and sexy lips, you would have to suck some fat out of your ass and inject it into your lips. Who would have believed that a few years ago? Who would have believed that in the 21st century , Are those fashionable and romantic people kissing each other’s butts when they kiss?
  But then again, sometimes there are fashion column titles that I admire very much, such as the big banner: “Flat chest is also Hipster!”
  It’s a really great title, and it’s a great guide for readers who don’t know what breasts to choose. After reading a column like this, you really have to ask the question, is this editor flooded? What? It’s as if women like Jucasta have a The whole set of big and small breasts? They stand in front of the mirror every morning when they wake up, uh, choose whether to have breasts or flat breasts today? Should they wear a size 38 or a size 32 bra?
  Or the women who read a column like this and exclaimed in surprise: “Wow! That’s great! Thank God! I didn’t throw out those small bras that were popular in 1982, I knew these small bras had to be It’s going to be popular!”
  At Sydney’s annual Easter Farm Show, my friend Jennifer stood there watching the various activities at the children’s playground, with a little boy made of wooden boards outside each ride. A sign that says, “If you’re not as tall as me, then you can’t play this game.”
  Jennifer felt the same should be done for the boutiques in Sydney, they should be in every boutique A mannequin sign was erected in front of the door of the house, which said: “If your waist is not as thin as mine, then please don’t come in!”
  Better yet, they simply made the door a mannequin. If you can’t get through the shape, then don’t go in.
  Can you get into that boutique? Should you choose flat breasts or big breasts? How long is the right thigh
  ? Okay, hit my belly, and he yelled at “Space Warrior” to stand aside.
  Finally, Jucasta couldn’t stand my dawdling, and she dragged me out of bed by my ankles, just as the “Bat Boy” bomb landed on my belly. I vaguely seem to hear a click, and my legs must be longer than before.
  My body was devastated? No doubt, but I finally caught up with a fad!