From today on, no longer overdraft yourself and love others

All the ways of overdrafting oneself to love others are unhealthy, immature, and short-lived.

The company sent senior designers to Guangzhou to observe and exchange design prototypes. This is a learning opportunity that I cherish in my heart. But my daughter Yaya is facing an important exam, and my husband is busy working every day. I can only wrong myself and make my family better! An opportunity was presented before me, and I told myself “Invisible, invisible!” This is not the first time such a thing.

Director Linna feels very sorry for my decision. She said: “I heard you say the word’wrong’, and you can feel that this state is not the life you expect. You have to know that a truly happy woman, In order to run a happy family.”

After work, I thought about it for a long time. Yes, no matter what happens and what choices I make over the years, I think about my family first, and then myself. Can I experience marriage under Linna’s suggestion? See yourself in the first?

Tuesday, April 28

Today, I have been asking myself: Do you know your real needs? Do you know how to love yourself? I have never considered these issues before. I walked into marriage for a love, rushed forward in the siege, and lost my direction. Now, I need to readjust to see my heart!

When I got home, it was already 6 o’clock, Yu Cheng was still watching the game, and Yaya was sitting by eating potato chips. I’m so depressed, should I cook the rice? I should take care of the baby? Should I be approved by the teacher if my homework is not done well? In the past, I would pull up my sleeves and cook while complaining, but at this moment, I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. I knew that I wanted to rest and let my breath out, so I said to my husband: “Lao Yu, you today Work hard, and help Yaya finish the homework. I made an appointment to do the hair, not eating at home.” Yu Cheng was stunned, obviously disappointed, but I still sent him the clocked homework and went out. In the setting sun, a scent of flowers wafted, and I was comfortable all over: it feels good to be a shopkeeper!

Wednesday, April 29

It’s not surprising at all. Today’s class WeChat group, the teacher criticized the list of ya ya, and several homework have to be corrected or even re-completed. I thought my husband would feel that it was not easy for me to see the results, and treat me more. He understood, but he was unhappy and complained: “I blame you, what kind of hair? How sad the child is for being criticized by the teacher!” I was stunned when I heard this, it seems Linna said That’s right, blindly paying may not be rewarded, and may not even get understanding. After so many years of marriage, Yu Cheng only sees his work, his friends, and his children. He has become accustomed to ignoring my emotions. It doesn’t matter to him what clothes I wear and what hair I change. And the origin of all this is because I couldn’t see myself in the first place and got used to wronging myself.

Pay more attention to yourself and turn yourself into a happy person. Only then can you guide your lover to develop and improve with you. And my bottomless pay is making me lose my love and dignity, and change must begin! I said to Yu Cheng: “The child’s growth requires the participation of his father, so that the child will be healthier and better. If you really value yaya, don’t let me continue to be a widowed mother!” Hearing my words, Yu Cheng dumbfounded Now, he always thought that everything was taken for granted, he didn’t even expect me to have such a big grievance!

May 7th Thursday

Today, I saw a sentence that made me particularly impressed: everyone’s relationship with the world should start from the self. If you can’t see yourself, then all the relationships will not be handled well. A good marriage requires respect for each other, but it does not mean that you do not see yourself or nourish yourself. In my marriage, my grievances were not about doing more housework and caring about children, but not being understood. But no, I didn’t even think about what I wanted, let alone make others understand.

In the past few days, Yu Cheng slowly discovered my changes: I used to go home in the gyro mode, but in the past few days I have become the exquisite mode: soaking a pot of tea, lighting a candle, manicure, sticking Putting on a mask… Yu Cheng, who bit her scalp and cooked for a few days, finally couldn’t help it: “My wife, I know you are working hard and want to strike, but we have to eat dinner!” I laughed, “Of course I have to eat. But, how about a change of taste? In addition…” I lifted up the nails I just made: “Look, it looks so beautiful, and it’s not appropriate to wash the dishes. Let’s do it, I cook, and you wash the dishes?” I always like to complain angrily. Today, when I speak softly, Yu Cheng did not refuse.

Today’s dinner is not greasy, and it is very healthy: vegetable congee, multi-grain porridge, steamed sweet potatoes, curry chicken… There is no oily smoke on the body, and there is no greasiness in my heart. This is really my favorite dinner, my favorite kitchen. Yu Cheng had the “three highs” in physical examinations in the past two years, and he should have tried to change his diet long ago. I said to him: “Let’s eat lightly midweek, which is good for your health. I will improve your life on weekends and relieve your gluttony!” Although Yu Cheng is not very comfortable with light dinners, I will let him be gentle and caring. Enjoy it.

In the past, I always believed in the words “women want to grab a man’s heart, first grab his stomach”, and specialize in Yu Cheng’s favorite food. Now it seems that wise women are truly attractive. woman!

Saturday, May 16

When I was young, I often heard adults teach me this way: “You have to let your younger brothers and sisters!” “You have to be generous, give first, then you will be rewarded.” “Women must learn to give.” This is rooted in my heart The truth. However, no one told me that when I become a so-called good woman, I will inevitably have a small book in my heart, always remember: XX, I have done so much for you, why don’t you know how to pay it back? ? Can’t you see it? This is really sad. When I am sad, my happiness will be squeezed away a little bit.

Today is the weekend, and I changed everything around my child to allow myself plenty of time. Early in the morning, I dressed up and went to a designer salon. After that, I asked my girlfriends to have a gathering in the beer garden. Although, I still miss Yaya’s homework very much in my heart, but it is undeniable that if I divide my time with myself and love myself more, I really feel a lot more joyful.

When I got home at night, Yaya had already completed 80% of her homework, and even the most difficult composition was finished. I took it over and took a look. The title was: “Mom, I Want to Tell You.” Mom, I hope you are the most beautiful angel in the world, always smiling at me, I don’t want a trace of sadness to hang in the corner of your eyes… I smiled and boasted: “The composition that Gao Caisheng’s father has counseled is top grade. People are moved!” Yu Cheng was also triumphant: “A child is like a piece of jade, whether he is a talent depends on the level of the carver!” I believe that as long as Yu Cheng is willing to use his heart, he will do better than me.

Tuesday, May 26

It is said that opportunities are reserved for those who are prepared. I previously missed opportunities because I did not cooperate with my lover, did not allow children to have the ability to learn independently, and did not allow me to have any conditions to let myself go. After this period of hard work, my family and I have changed.

No, the opportunity came again. The unit arranged for the designer to go to Yangzhou to inspect Gufeng B&B. The travel time was 5 days. I decided to go! After telling Yu Cheng, he said: “I will definitely get tired of taking care of Yaya by myself, but the time is not long, I can hold on! Go!” I excitedly said, “Thank you dear, I know you are very hard. , I will make it up to you!” Yu Cheng blushed, and he was as shy as a little boy when he was not confused.

Today, on the way to Yangzhou, Linna sent me a WeChat. It was a passage from American psychology professor John Gottman in “Happy Marriage”: Only when we first see ourselves, our partner will see you as true. If you pay for each other’s needs, and let each other see your own needs, your relationship will become healthier and healthier. There is nothing to do with selfishness.

The train is speeding by, and the scenery outside the window is fleeting, just like our life. In life, the things that can really be grasped and grasped are very limited. Therefore, we should love ourselves in these speeding years. All the ways of overdrafting oneself to love others are unhealthy, immature, and short-lived.

I went to the tea and indirect water, and filled the cup carefully, and suddenly felt very emotional: The water in this cup is like my happiness. Instead of filling my cup, I give the water to others and hypnotize myself. If you quench your thirst, you won’t be thirsty. How unscientific this way. In the future, I will be a woman who cares about herself, moisturize herself with sweet water and benefit others. What’s wrong with it!