When faced with uncertainty, the test can easily become an option for us to seek certainty. However, the flaws of the test are very obvious, the information transmitted is very vague, and it is easy to cause misunderstandings, and ultimately it is not worth the loss. To get love, it is better to get along with the truth than to guess, and face it bravely.
Have you tested your partner? What would you think if your partner secretly tested you? For these questions, there has always been the so-called “correct answer” on the Internet, that is, don’t test your partner casually, try to release trust, because human nature can’t stand the test.
However, after Luo Zhixiang and Zhou Yangqing broke up recently, the direction of public opinion has changed a little bit. Someone began to stand up and say, “It might be necessary to test it occasionally. After all, people are separated from each other’s belly! Zhou Yangqing and Luo Zhixiang have been together for 9 years, and they don’t know that he has done so many messy things on his back. It must be tested. Otherwise, don’t worry!” Some people remain calm and think that “Luo Zhou” is “Luo Zhou”, we are us, and not every pair of partners is as bad as they are, and the trust between the two should still be. of.
So, what do you think about the “test partner”? To this end, “Marriage and Family” magazine launched a survey on major new media platforms-will you test whether your partner loves you or not? Of the 3,227 questionnaires recovered, more than half said that they had never tested their partner, and 16% said they had been tested when they were immature, but they would not grow up.
So, what do they think? Let’s take a look below.
In intimate relationships, testing each other is a very common behavior. When we are not sure about our partner, we sometimes think of ways to test each other’s intentions. For example, some people will pretend to be sick to see if the other party is nervous; some people will disappear after playing, to see if the other party will find themselves everywhere. Therefore, 32% of people said that they have tested their partner, this mentality is well understood.
A emotional guest once came to a male guest. He clearly opened a factory at home, but he wanted to pretend to be poor. He also found a friend studying abroad to add his girlfriend’s WeChat to test her loyalty. As a result, his girlfriend became very angry when she knew the truth, and even the host couldn’t help but question the boy: “What qualifications do you have?” The scene was very embarrassed.
Ten embarrassing examples are everywhere, and many people are so far away from the test partner.
52% chose not to test their partner, 16% had tested it, but later did not test it. For people with Option C, turning to not testing their partner may also mean that as their mentality matures, their ability to determine their partner’s intentions has greatly increased. They can talk directly, or they can accurately perceive the relationship through daily feelings. They increased self-confidence and no longer doubted the relationship. As a result, they no longer need to test this risky method.
When we think about “whether we should test our partners”, what do we want to know? In fact, this means that we have encountered uncertainty in our relationship: we don’t know the other party’s intentions, we don’t understand the relationship’s current status, and we don’t know each other’s future. At this time, different people will show different styles.
A is a “seeker of security”. In their eyes, the world is not very reassuring, the hearts of the people are unpredictable, and the quality is unknown, which often leads them to seek a stable existence. However, because others are difficult to figure out, they will use the tools in their hands, such as quizzes and quizzes. Take a test when you are uneasy, no matter how good or bad the result is, just ask for peace of mind for yourself, this approach is somewhat childish.
B is “the seeker of certainty”. Although they will not be sure of each other’s intentions, they have not blamed everything on “unfathomable people’s minds”. On the contrary, they will also find reasons for themselves and understand that they are sometimes not sure about people and not confident in themselves, and they need to use tests to consolidate their confidence. They have the ability of self-knowledge and the kinetic energy of self-growth, which is a relatively mature state.
C is “the master of the relationship.” When there are unfavorable clues in the relationship, their handling is very direct, that is, dialogue and exchange, to figure out the other party’s ideas. They have confidence in their communication skills and believe that the dialogue can express their wishes and capture the voice of each other. Therefore, they are reluctant to use this tortuous way of testing. At the same time, they are also anti-stressers, able to face the pressure brought about by the dialogue and dare to lift the fog and resolve the conflict. Therefore, this kind of person has the initiative of intimate relationship, and can also avoid the misunderstanding caused by temptation to the greatest extent. However, this attitude of control does have to face more challenges.
D is the “protector of the relationship”. Like A, they are not blindly optimistic about human nature. They believe that everyone has a bottom line and the possibility of “doing something bad”, so human nature cannot stand the test. However, they adopted a different strategy than A. Even if they were confused, they were reluctant to spy on each other, and they did not want to exert pressure. They must force the so-called “human evil”. Instead, they will carefully protect the relationship and not toss about it. They will not send a charming opposite sex to test their partner’s loyalty, nor will they desperately challenge each other’s patience. Because they believe that the relationship “does not die,” needs to be cared for and cherished together.
Being tested by a partner means a pressure of trust. When faced with pressure of trust, the first reaction is a good illustration of what we value in the relationship.
The person who chooses A values ”focused”. For them, no matter how the other party tests, but as long as the starting point is “care”, they will make a positive interpretation of all this, and believe that the other party loves themselves and wants to actively promote the development of the relationship. As a result, they will also show more patience and acceptance. This concern is common in many intimate relationships.
People who choose B and C value the feeling of being “trusted”, but in the face of this direct trust pressure, B’s first reaction is more sunny than C, C is more sensitive, and it is easier to show disgust and resistance . Therefore, in daily life, the partner shows trust and gives enough space, which is especially important for C.
People who choose D value “partner’s self-confidence”. They like partners who have a sense of self-worth and self-determination, because when they get along with such people, they will feel that they have the charm of self-confidence. They don’t like the kind of poor bug who asks “Do you love me” all day long, because the weakness, entanglement and frustration brought by the other party will make them very uncomfortable. However, it should be noted that sometimes the partner is too confident and will bring a certain sense of oppression to himself.
In summary, we can see that the reason why “should I test my partner” has been discussed by everyone for a long time, because many people will use it to perceive each other, feel themselves, and try to determine those vague things. Therefore, all kinds of tests and tests will be popular.
However, the test is okay, the test is good, after all, there is an obvious shortcoming, that is, the information it transmits and obtains is very vague, and it can only guess and try to guess the other party’s intentions. In this way, if you are not careful, you will cause a lot of misunderstanding. Therefore, everyone should be cautious about the “test partner”, and it must not be used to decide major issues.
