Through the “phobia of love”: a rain of bullets to accompany you on a leisurely walk

  In a gun battle in Colombo, the capital of Sri Lanka, Yu Bin, a Chinese designer from Sri Lanka’s No. 1 Chinese Construction Company, stepped forward and rescued Shanghai girl Li Rongrong. However, Li Rongrong suffered from “phobia of love” after witnessing the tragic death of her girlfriend’s fiancé in a missile, and the death of a loving life.
  Seeing that the girl saved by himself was suffering from phobias, Dr. Yu Bin was heartbroken. He wanted her to have the ability to love and help her get out of “love phobia”, but the result was beyond everyone’s expectations… The
  following is Li Rongrong’s affectionate confession to this magazine-Witnessing
  life and death:
  I met my benefactor on the streets of Sri Lanka . I was born in the suburbs of Shanghai in 1985. After graduating from the English Department of Shanghai University in June 2008, with the idea of ​​going abroad, I decided to work in a Chinese restaurant in Colombo, the capital of Sri Lanka, despite the opposition of my family.
  There, I met Vata and Boya. Vata is the most handsome waiter in the restaurant. When we met, he was in love with his girlfriend Boya. Later, Boya and I became a pair of foreign best friends. During that time, I witnessed their sweet love. But the reality is so cruel, life and death are only a moment.
  One day in August of this year, Boya and I made an appointment to get off work to pick sari (Traditional Sri Lankan clothing), and Vata also called for it. When walking from the restaurant through a small street of private houses, I suddenly heard gunfire. In an instant, people on the street hugged their heads and hid. Someone behind me was hit and fell heavily to the ground. I feel short of breath, but my legs feel weak when I want to escape.
  At this moment, Vata suddenly fell to the ground, blood gurgling from his chest. I was completely frightened. When I was awakened by Boya’s miserable crying, I found that she was kneeling beside Wata, her hands full of blood.
  At this time, a calm voice came into my ears: “Don’t be afraid, go!” It’s Chinese! Looking at it again, a young man dressed as a western cowboy rushed over, picked me up, kicked a door hard, put me in, and then rescued Boya and Vata to safety.
  I don’t know how long it took, and there was no sound outside. Then, the local government army and police vehicles started patrolling, and the people who rescued me went out and called the soldiers in. At this time, Vata had already left.
  Only then did I know that the Chinese boy who rescued me was named Yu Bin. When we were separated, Yu Bin took the initiative to give the phone number and told me to call him if I had anything to do. In subsequent contact, I learned that Yu Bin is from Nanjing, born in 1981, graduated from Hohai University with a Ph.D., and is the designer of the first Chinese-funded construction company in Sri Lanka.
  The tragedy that the gunfight brought to the yin and yang between Boya and Vata made me even more depressing and painful. Even if two people love each other again, they will lose each other because of death. At that time I swear: Don’t fall in love, don’t get married, and avoid life and death between lovers.
  At the end of 2008, Yu Bin sent a text message saying that he was going back to China and asked if I wanted to go back. After that shootout, I suffered from severe insomnia and nightmares. Knowing that Yu Bin was going back to China, I promised to go with him without hesitation.
  After returning home, we returned to our respective cities. I found an office job in a British foreign company in Shanghai. Yu Bin returned to the headquarters of the original unit in Nanjing. I often take the initiative to contact him, and sometimes I go to the other party’s city to make appointments for dinner. But whenever he looked at me with affectionate eyes, I said “Thank you brother”, I was reminding him, you are my brother, don’t fall in love with me.
  Once, when I went home to re-apply the household registration book, my parents saw that I was still single, and they insisted on taking me to go on a blind date. I was so anxious that they blamed them for wanting me to suffer the pain of love and death in the future.
  For Yu Bin, I also discovered my anomaly in contact with me. Once, when he came to Shanghai, I asked a female colleague and her husband to accompany him. During the period, the female colleague and her husband fed each other, and I slammed the female colleague’s words “you will feel better in the future”, which made the scene very embarrassing.
  Afterwards, Yu Bin said that something was wrong with me and suggested that I see a psychiatrist. I yelled, “People who love each other have to endure the separation of life and death, it is better to live a life alone. Am I wrong?” Yu Bin had no choice but to comfort me: “You are right, but life is going to pass.” I simply ignored him.
  The bad things continued. I had insomnia all night, took sleeping pills every night, and stayed up until the early morning to fall asleep. After falling asleep, he would see the death of his girlfriend and boyfriend in his nightmare, and then he would sit until dawn after waking up.
  I went to see the doctor. The doctor said I was neurotic and prescribed medicine, but the medicine did not help much.
  I think I can’t make it anymore, and I think of Yu Bin again. On the National Day of 2010, I came to Nanjing and saw him on the banks of the Qinhuai River. I felt an inexplicable sense of steadfastness in my heart. He asked me how I was doing, and I cried about my experience. He said: “I’ll help you.”
  After Yu Bin’s repeated persuasion, I agreed to go to a psychiatrist with him. After the doctor asked about my experience, he said that I experienced the shootout in Sri Lanka and witnessed the pain of Boa and Vata’s death, which caused me psychological trauma, which led me to think that a person cannot have happiness for a long time. Two people who fall in love will eventually lose one of them. How happy you are at this time, you will suffer more in the future. It is clinically called “love phobia”. The occurrence of this symptom is related to many factors, such as domestic violence and war. Major traumatic events are the basic conditions for the onset of “love phobia”. This symptom is mainly manifested as the patient’s thinking, memory, or repeated and involuntarily emergence of trauma-related scenes or content in the patient’s dream; or the patient’s long-term avoidance of events or scenes related to the traumatic experience, refusal to participate in related activities, and so on.
  And I was emotionally stimulated and resisted love after witnessing the tragic tragedy of Boya and Vata with my own eyes.
  After coming out of the hospital, Yu Bin looked at me and said, “I will cure you.”
  During the period, it happened that Yu Bin’s cousin and cousin-in-law were going to buy a new house, and I accompanied them. Just as the sister-in-law Yu Bin’s cousin went down the stairs, because the temporary escalator next to her suddenly collapsed, her body almost fell through the cracks. The cavity underneath was more than ten meters high, and she would die if she fell. Fortunately, cousin Yu Bin hugged his wife in time.
  Yu Bin took the opportunity to enlighten me: “It is so good for a girl to be protected by a man. If the cousin and wife are alone, the consequences will be disastrous.”
  I was so scared that I nodded again and again, which was indeed the case.
  Yu Bin found that this incident had a positive effect on me, so he began to look for opportunities to continue to enlighten me.
  This time I came to Nanjing with a friend’s off-road vehicle. When I went back, Yu Bin offered to accompany me back to Shanghai. In the middle of the road, when I was passing through the suburbs on the highway, the tire happened to be flat. Yu Bin asked me to get out of the car and change the tire. But the spare tire was too heavy. I was a girl who had a hard time moving. I couldn’t help but blame Yu Bin: “You are a big man. Why don’t you help me?”
  ”You said you will be single for a lifetime, who do you rely on in the future?”
  Fortunately, Yu Bin took the shot, and the tires were quickly replaced. He asked me, “You have a boyfriend by your side, you will feel at ease… “My heart moved.
  After Yu Bin’s persuasion, I decided to accept psychotherapy.
  Love the pace of approximation: that is my happiness the other side
  Thereafter, every time treatment, Yu Bin will accompany me. In my opinion, the treatment of the psychologist is not as good as Yu Bin’s company, which makes me look forward to.

  One weekend, when Yu Bin wanted to take me to his friend’s house, I was a little reluctant. I knew that he wanted me to get better. Although I began to resist and didn’t want to go, I refused him directly. It was a bit unbearable. So I lied that there was something urgent to deal with, so I wandered on the streets of Nanjing alone.
  Before I knew it, it was dark, so I walked to the hotel alone. When I got on the elevator at the hotel, a drunk old man stepped forward. When I got out of the elevator, he also broke out and dragged me to a utility room. At this moment, an aunt cleaning lady saw her and shouted. Soon, several residents came out and worked together to control the drunk.
  I was crying because I was frightened. Yu Bin rushed to panting, hugged me, and shouted to the person in charge of the hotel: “She has a long time and two shortcomings, I will never end with you!” After the
  police arrived, the matter was resolved. After that, Yu Bin changed the hotel for me and stayed by my side all the time. I suddenly realized that it feels good to have a man protect me!
  At this time, Yu Bin mentioned one of his younger brothers with good character and persuaded me to contact him. I also wanted to try whether I had the courage to accept love, so I summoned up the courage to start dating with Yu Bin’s younger brother.
  Yu Bin’s younger brother is really nice and considerate, but after a meal, he can hand me tissues no less than a dozen times. I always feel that I don’t like him, so I worry, if I get used to what he treats me well, what will happen to him if I leave in the future? I had no choice but to break up. Yu Bin comforted me on the phone: “You have passed the first hurdle in your heart, and it will be easier in the future. Don’t be discouraged.” I don’t know why, but I was moved by his comforting words. For so long, I know that he has a place in my heart.
  After that, Yu Bin gave me a match again. I was very repulsive and resolutely refused, but I still kept in touch with him, and occasionally made appointments for dinner, met and chatted, and went shopping together. It was also very easy.
  In October 2013, a Chinese friend Yu Bin met when he was working in Sri Lanka contacted him and said that he would go to Pudong, Shanghai to do gemstone business. He asked if Yu Bin could meet him and accompanied him to Shanghai for a preliminary investigation. Yu Bin contacted me.
  The market survey was completed smoothly. Before my friend left, he invited Yu Bin to have a chance to meet again in Sri Lanka. After Yu Bin sent his friend away and asked me, “Do you want to go to Sri Lanka again?” I knew he was still working hard to save me, so I nodded and said, “Yes!”
  However, this plan was shelved due to an accident. . It was November 7, 2013, on a wet and cold rainy day. The boss couldn’t get out of his body because of a meeting. He threw his Audi car keys to me and asked me to go to the airport for him to pick up an old friend who hadn’t met for a long time. I am very reluctant to do such private work, because I am working overtime and in a hurry. I want to finish all the urgent work before I go to Sri Lanka, but when I think about it, I just want to curry favor with my boss, so as to pave the way for going to Sri Lanka to ask for leave. .
  That day, I took my boss’s old friend to the hotel and drove the Audi into the underground garage. When I was turning to leave, I was suddenly hit by a Mazda. Speaking of it, the female driver who drove the Mazda is a novice. She actually put the umbrella under her feet and entered the garage. She wanted to step on the brakes, but was supported by the fluffy umbrella and couldn’t step on it, so she hit me and flew up. . Fortunately, it was the underground garage, and fortunately, she turned the steering wheel, otherwise I would be squeezed between the car and the wall. Fortunately, my life is big, but I have multiple bruises on my body, wounds on my waist, and broken ankles.
  The female driver took me to the hospital. After I settled down, I sent a message to Yu Bin stating that I could not go to Sri Lanka. Yu Bin hurried over and shed tears while checking my injury. I was a little shocked.
  My family is on the outskirts of Shanghai, and I live alone in a rented house in the urban area. Afraid of my parents being worried, I didn’t say that I was injured and hospitalized. Yu Bin took time off and stayed with me around the clock, making me feel the happiness of companionship.
  After I was discharged from the hospital, Yu Bin asked to see my family, and I agreed.
  I called my parents to see me and said I was slightly injured.
  The parents came from the suburbs. After the meeting, my parents had a good impression of Yu Bin, who was handsome and elegant. They asked me about my relationship with Yu Bin. I laughed and didn’t say a word. My parents understood.
  My parents are gone, and I knowingly gave Yu Bin the opportunity to take care of me, and my heart gradually opened up. I really want to fall in love… But I don’t know if Yu Bin has ever thought about it. Like him, or does he like me? It was just that when I felt sorry for the failure of my plan to visit Sri Lanka, he comforted me and he would definitely go when I recovered.
  Until the National Day holiday in 2014, we contacted Yu Bin’s friend, and the friend took us to the gem store he operated in the local area and visited the local attractions such as Lion Rock and Elephant Orphanage. In the end, Yu Bin and I came to the place where we met.
  Before returning home, I hesitated to say to Yu Bin: “I don’t know how Boya is doing, I want to see her.” Yu Bin said: “I’ll accompany you.”
  No longer fear love: a rain of bullets will accompany you for a stroll in the courtyard
  We were tossed around for a day before seeing Boya. I had made a lot of predictions before. She lived in sorrow and loneliness, vicissitudes of life and haggard… But I was almost stunned to see her! Boyabi, wearing a sari, was much plump before, with moisturized skin and full of sunshine. She held a tall husband who was as handsome as Vata in her arms, followed by angelic sons and daughters behind her.
  During the meal together, Boya’s husband was extremely considerate, and Boya, with a happy face, did not hesitate to bring up the past. She said that losing her beloved man was very painful, but she learned to accept new love and finally got out of the trauma, allowing her to have the most satisfying love and family.
  On the return flight, I overlooked Sri Lanka from the plane window, and muttered in my heart: “Goodbye, the scarred past!”
  After returning home, I accepted Yu Bin’s care with peace of mind.
  In March 2015, we met to go to Huangshan. Climbing to the top of the mountain, Yu Bin reached out and handed me a small box. When I opened it, it turned out to be a sapphire ring. I asked him: “When did you start to like me?” Yu Bin’s eyes were full of affection: “I can’t tell.” The
  Dragon Boat Festival is here, and Yu Bin takes me to Nanjing to meet his parents. His parents belong to China Railway Group. Retired workers are amiable. They prepared a table of my favorite dishes, and I felt as if I had returned to my own home.
  After graduating from Huazhong Normal University, Yu Min’s brother Yu Min worked as a teacher in Nanjing Middle School. His sister-in-law Xu Li and his older brother were childhood sweethearts and Chinese teachers in a middle school. They have a 5-year-old daughter. Looking at their happy family, I am even more looking forward to it.
  On February 22, 2016, Yu Bin’s 35th birthday, I accepted his marriage proposal and put on the sapphire ring. On May 1st of that year, we held a wedding under the witness of relatives and friends.
  On January 19, 2017, our son Liangliang was born. This family is more lively and full of warmth. That night, I said emotionally to my husband: “My dear, fortunately, I am not far away from love because of love phobia, otherwise there would be no chance to enjoy the happiness of this family of three. Thank you, husband.” Yu Bin smiled softly. The voice said, “I saved you at the beginning because I wanted you to be my wife.” I jealously plunged into his arms. At that moment, our eye sockets were moist… In
  2018, because of work needs, Yu Bin was sent to work in Sri Lanka again. I took on the tasks of raising children and taking care of the family by myself. When I encountered difficult problems, both my in-laws and relatives would Reach out for help.
  On April 23, 2019, less than two kilometers away from Yu Bin’s work, a series of terrorist attacks in Sri Lanka occurred that shocked the world. In order not to worry me, Yu Bin contacted me on video every day. Seeing him black and thin, with a panic on his face, I felt distressed. Instead, I persuaded him: “My dear, we can’t predict when tomorrow’s disaster will come. It’s better to cherish the person in front of you…”
  Yu Bin burst into tears and was surprised. : “You have grown up, I am happy for you.” “It’s your credit.” We smiled heartily.
  At the beginning of 2020, the new crown pneumonia has spread all over the world. We save food and try our best to avoid going out for fear of contracting the virus. Yu Bin also asked me to order food online through a video call instead of going out to buy food.
  Over time, I thought to myself, I can’t give up my life because I’m afraid of the virus. So, I gave up online shopping and went to the vegetable farm to buy vegetables at low prices and I could choose at will. Yu Bin found that I was so bold and wanted to drive, so that I could enjoy life boldly, and asked me to pay attention to wearing a mask.
  August 1st was my birthday. Yu Bin came back here to celebrate my birthday with me. He sent me a big balloon affectionately. On the balloon, I wrote: “After experiencing the trauma of war and the ups and downs of life, I have a different understanding of life. I am born to die. Natural laws are inevitable. It is better to enjoy my love while I am alive. The happiness of companionship, cherish the moment…”
  Yu Bin burst into tears while reading. He picked up the marker and wrote the response on the balloon: “Even if the parting day comes, we will all smile and say, in this life , We have no regrets.”
  Watching my son’s flying balloon rise into the blue sky, Yu Bin and I hugged together, tears falling down.