My friend Yingzi is in a bad mood recently. She told me that the child was going back to his hometown and didn’t want to wander outside.
I was also a little surprised. Yingzi’s son finished college at a textile college in Zhejiang. When a well-known local private company went to the school to recruit, he went to the company and signed a three-year contract. Now that the contract expires, my son does not want to renew, but wants to go home to find a job. But in which direction is it going to go, and what specific plans do you have for the civil service examination? Or is it a career preparation test? The son has no plans. What’s even more annoying is that the son’s father also agreed to his son’s return, and the father and son were of one mind.
The son was a very obedient and good boy until he graduated from university. He obeyed his mother’s plan, met her mother’s requirements, and worked hard. But during the Spring Festival this year, my son had a frank conversation with his mother. He said to his mother, I have been too tired over the years and you have put too much pressure on me. If this goes on, I will collapse. I can’t be as prominence as you ask, I just want to be an ordinary person.
Yingzi said that when she heard her son say this, she felt shock, disappointment and sadness that she had never had before. Yingzi did not expect that her request would bring so much pressure to the child and cause so much pain. She didn’t expect that her son was so willing to be ordinary and didn’t seek to make progress, and her expectations of her son vanished in an instant. Yingzi suddenly felt desperate, which meant that all the previous efforts were in vain, and the sadness was beyond words. Yingzi said, why do all the good kids belong to others?
I understand Yingzi’s feelings as a mother. I can’t persuade her. I just told her about my family’s situation. I said, I like reading, and I hope that my two daughters will also like reading as much as I do. But they usually have time and they think about how to travel and where to shop, rather than reading. But what’s the problem?
Everyone has the right to choose the lifestyle he likes, and it is inconvenient for parents to interfere. As long as they feel happy.
As for their jobs, they also submit their own resumes and apply for jobs. I never ask. Just tell them that they must have a correct work attitude, be dedicated, and have strong business capabilities. Can not stand at the forefront of the tide, at least can be based on society. I don’t interfere with their marriages, just tell them not to talk about several people at the same time, don’t spend other people’s money when you are in love, and you should consider getting married and starting a family when you talk about one person. If you are not sure, don’t bring it back. If you are sure, you will not be allowed to change when you bring it back to see us, because this is a serious matter.
Two daughters, I have also hoped that women will become phoenixes, but they do not have special talents and talents, they are ordinary people, ordinary people, in fact, this is also very good. Because in our society, more than 90% are ordinary people. Everyone is actually working hard, but the winner is often the 10%. Ordinary people have the benefits of ordinary people. They live a peaceful life without much pressure, and live a normal life really well. It is important to know that being a celebrity, being an Internet celebrity, being a winner, being an outstanding person, that kind of hard work is not something ordinary people can do.
Children have children’s pursuits, and parents have their parents’ ideas. When parents’ ideas are inconsistent with their children’s pursuits, parents can give advice to their children, but the main thing is to respect their children’s choices, instead of imposing their parents’ ideas on the children, which can bring great pressure to the children, and even some pressure can help them. The child is crushed, and the result is contrary to the wish. This is not for the good of the child, but a kind of injury in the name of love. It is a misfortune for the child, the family, and the parents themselves.
To allow children to be ordinary, parents must first put their hearts at ease and accept the ordinary. The most important thing for parents to have a calm heart is to keep their eyes inward and maintain the peace, peace, and normality within the family, instead of looking outwards, to compare themselves with others all day long, so that their hearts cannot be calmed down. People are incomparable with people, so it is not important to look good on the outside, but warmth inside the home is the most important. A family, poor and poor, rich and rich, whether rich or poor, harmony, affection, kindness, is the greatest wealth of a family, the most successful life, the best life!