Wang Danni is a Chinese daughter-in-law who is married to Denmark and has given birth to three children. In June 2019, she and her husband returned to their home in Beijing, China. After returning to China, her cousin saw that she had three children and praised her for her courage. She said that her mother-in-law and husband continued to encourage her to have a second child, and she felt nervous and scared. Wang Danni said to her cousin: “It’s crazy that a foreign mother-in-law wants her daughter-in-law to have a second child!” She couldn’t help but think of her ridiculous “human-making” experience when she gave birth to a second child in Denmark.
Enjoy “God” treatment in Denmark
My name is Wang Danni, 29 years old, and a real Beijinger. After graduating from university, I worked as an accountant in a foreign trade company in Beijing. There, I met my husband Andre. After dating for more than a year, I married Andre, and then I said goodbye to my hometown and moved to Copenhagen, the capital of Denmark, with my husband.
Before I went to Denmark, my husband found a financial job for me. I went to the company and reported it, and then I took my wedding leave and started my honeymoon trip with my husband. To make things easier, my husband and I decided to go to a local travel agency to report a tour group to Hawaii, USA.
The staff of the travel company learned that we were newlyweds and were very enthusiastic, saying that their company recently launched a new activity. As long as the couple is traveling during the ovulation period, they can enjoy an “ovulation” discount. If you are lucky enough to get pregnant, you will not only have free travel expenses, but also give free baby products for 3 years.
Is there such a good thing? Although I had discussed with my husband to have a child later, but under the temptation of such a huge interest, I was unable to resist, and quickly pulled my husband to sign the agreement.
Of course, in order to get the “special reward” from the travel agency, I also spent a lot of effort, seizing every opportunity and time during the trip, and working hard to “create people” with my husband. The effort paid off. One month after the trip, I found out that I was pregnant. When we went to the travel agency with the pregnancy certificate, the other party not only received us enthusiastically and refunded all the travel expenses, but also gave us a big cake as a congratulation.
Before leaving, the travel agency asked me to check a few favorite baby products brands and said that they would send them to us regularly after the baby was born!
When my in-laws heard that I was pregnant, they kissed my forehead excitedly and prayed with their hands folded together: “Child, you are the gospel sent by God.” All of a sudden, I became the pride of the whole family.
But I was already whispering in my heart. According to the domestic childbirth process that I know, queuing up for pregnancy tests, going through various birth procedures, etc., I feel very upset. Because my husband is busy at work, my parents are not around, and my in-laws are so old, I will worry about everything in the end? !
However, when I was still thinking about it, my husband picked up the phone and started to make a doctor appointment. My husband’s private doctor originally said that there were still a few patients in front of him, and he had to postpone his treatment for a week, but as soon as he heard that I was pregnant, he immediately changed his words and said that it could be arranged tomorrow. I joked, “Ah, there is such a privilege to be pregnant!” My husband said solemnly: “In Denmark, pregnancy is a big deal!”
It turns out that Denmark has always had a very low fertility rate. Denmark has a population of less than 6 million, and the country does everything for its population growth. Some of the birth policies are simply “crazy”, and some preferential advertisements do not even let the elderly go, saying that they should not think that they are barren because they are old. But despite this, Denmark’s fertility rate has not risen in the past 10 years.
In the end, the government had no choice but to shut down many public facilities, in order to “threat” people to stay at home and have children. No wonder getting pregnant in Denmark is a big deal!
The first check-up went smoothly. My husband just brought me a personal medical insurance card, and everything was OK. The doctor listed a lot of inspection items for me. I thought that some items were unnecessary, so I discussed with my husband whether they could be omitted. Andre shook his head again and again: “In Denmark, there are strict procedures from pregnancy to childbirth.” Not long after the maternity examination was over, my wedding leave was over. I got pregnant before I started working, so I will definitely be expelled.
When he was hesitant to hide, Andre called our company leaders and told them that I was pregnant. When I came to work in the company anxiously, I didn’t want to. Colleagues came to congratulate me one after another. One of the girls smiled and said, “Dani, you are so happy, you can make a fake again!”
I was stunned, but my colleague told me with a smile that Danish law stipulates that pregnant women shall take leave from 4 weeks before the expected date of delivery and 14 weeks of maternity leave after delivery. During this period, spouses are entitled to 2 weeks of leave. Not only are they paid, they are also legal. Enjoy the government’s maternity allowance!
In Denmark, if the fetus grows normally, I usually only need to do two B-ultrasounds. This is a boon for people like me who don’t like going to the hospital. When the fetus was four months old, I had a second ultrasound. When the doctor asked me if I needed to know the gender of the child, I was pleasantly surprised: “Is it really possible to know?” When the doctor told us that the child was basically a boy, I was very happy. But the husband showed a bitter face, saying that he wanted to be a beautiful little princess at the first child!
The days of pregnancy were easy and comfortable, and my due date soon came. My husband arranged for me to stay in the hospital. Within a week, the little guy in my stomach couldn’t wait to come to this world. I took a picture and sent it to Moments. Many friends in China expressed their congratulations after seeing it!
The Danish mother-in-law also gave birth to a helpless “man-made” life
However, my friends in China didn’t know that, in fact, I experienced all kinds of births from my mother-in-law. After the baby was born, my mother in China called and asked if I needed to take care of my “confinement”. I asked for my husband’s opinion, but Andre said, “Why bother your mother? I’ll take care of you and your children!”
Later, I learned that Danes do not pay attention to “confinement”, let alone the profession of “confinement”. Because in Denmark, “daddy” is a landscape that can be seen everywhere, and men take their children as a happy time.
Since my husband has 32 weeks of “parental leave”, he has a lot of time to take care of me and my children. Once, Andre disappeared one day with the child. After returning, he said with joy that he joined a circle of “Dad Dad Alliance” and shared his parenting experience. It was so fun.
In addition to worrying about no one to take care of the children, there are more surprises in Denmark. One day, two nurses came to visit with a medicine kit, saying that they were implementing national childbirth benefits, weighing and checking their children for free. The two of them checked John’s body very carefully, and finally asked me about breastfeeding, postpartum recovery and other issues, and gave some professional advice.
Before leaving, the two nurses also said that they would come regularly before John turns one year old. This kind of caring service makes me feel like a VIP. But the last sentence the nurse said made me stunned. She said, “Maybe you will have a second or third child, and I will come too!” You know, I never thought about it. I have to have a second child later.
In Denmark, there are countless childbirth benefits. For example, the government pays all the milk fees for babies from birth to 18 years old; the tuition from elementary school to university is also waived. Even if you choose a private school with more expensive tuition, the government will subsidize it. ……I have seen domestic mothers complain about raising children to burn money, I can’t help but sigh, if you have a child in Denmark, you can definitely become the least worried mother in the world.
My husband and I returned to work after our “parental leave” ended. Because my mother-in-law was too old to take care of children, we sent John to a nearby nursery.
The child entered the nursery, and I started to work normally. I felt like I had fulfilled my “mission in life”. However, I didn’t expect that one weekend, my mother-in-law would talk to me and ask when I was planning to have a second child.
When I heard it, I was stunned and said, “John is not yet a year old! What’s more, I work during the day and take care of the children at night.” The mother-in-law smiled and said, “What does it matter?! As long as you are willing to give birth.” With that said, she handed a leaflet for the nursery school, which read: We will bring you two hours of children for free on Thursday night. I hope you can make time for more babies.
After reading this, I can’t laugh or cry. It seems that in Denmark, not only the mother-in-law gave birth, but the whole people are urging you to have more children. However, I still feel a little uncomfortable in my heart, wondering if my mother-in-law is a little nosy. After all, giving birth to a child is a gift from heaven. My mother-in-law urged me like this and made me a little irritable.
I called my mother in China. My mother said to me: “Actually, a child will be lonely in the future, giving birth to a younger sibling, and educating the child! Besides, your body is recovering well now!”
Looking at the expectant eyes of my mother-in-law, my mother’s persuasion, and thinking that I was still young, and my husband Andre had always hoped to have a daughter, I was tempted. After all, giving birth in Denmark is not a hassle.
In this way, my husband and I worked hard to “create people”. Within three months, I became pregnant again. Everything went according to order. Eight months later, I gave birth to my daughter An Weier prematurely. The mother-in-law even cried with joy! A grand family banquet was also specially held to welcome An Weier’s birth.
The life of one child and one daughter lasted for a year, and after taking a vacation, I was on the right track of work again. Unexpectedly, at this time, my mother-in-law found me again, took my sign language and asked me earnestly if I still want to have a baby.
I am a little embarrassed, saying that one son and one daughter are already content. But the mother-in-law said: “A lot of children are a blessing! Look at Denmark. You often walk in the street and you can’t even see the figures. Although many mother-in-laws around me already envy me having two grandchildren, I always look forward Living with a group of grandchildren around the knees. If you have a football team, it would be really lively! Even the princess of Denmark gave birth to four! “Under the ardent gaze of my mother-in-law, I hesitated.
I mumbled: “Mom, you read the government propaganda. Don’t stop giving birth because you are old. Do you like to have another one by yourself!” I didn’t expect the mother-in-law not only was not embarrassed, but also said with regret on the other hand: “If I can, I really want to, but can I live on my own? So now I hope it’s all on you!” The father-in-law listened to our conversation, coughed in his throat a few times, and smiled at us embarrassingly. I laughed, turned around and poured coffee.
In the evening, my husband and I discussed the matter of giving birth to three children, and Andre said that everything would follow my wishes. After thinking about it all night, in order to fulfill the old man’s wish, I made a compromise. My mother-in-law was very happy when she learned that I was willing to have a baby. She said that she recently saw a travel company advertised that it was an old man who ordered a “child-bearing trip” package for his children to enjoy a big discount. She immediately customized this package and gave it to us. Thinking of the trip to give birth to John, I can’t help but sigh. It seems that the Danish travel company has wisely shifted the goal of having children to the mother-in-laws!
“Making people crazy” is not as good as letting the flow go
Under the urging and expectation of my mother-in-law, my husband and I once again embarked on the “journey of making man.” However, this time, I failed to get pregnant as I wish. I was worried that something was wrong with my body and I could not conceive naturally, so I became depressed. Seeing that I was not in a high mood, Andre was very worried and arranged for me to arrange a psychiatrist Anna.
32-year-old Anna is an old classmate of her husband. He heard from her husband that she is still unmarried. When she heard that I had already given birth to two children and was worrying about not having a third child, Anna couldn’t laugh or cry. Through the diagnosis, Anna analyzed that it may be that the psychological pressure of my pregnancy was too great, which made it difficult to conceive. Therefore, she told me not to always think about having a baby, but to learn to relax myself. After all, pregnancy is not a task, it is better to let it go. After that, she suggested that I practice yoga more and morning jogs, which may relieve the anxiety of wanting to have a baby.
Under the guidance of Anna, my situation really got better gradually, and my mood was much more cheerful. Slowly, Anna and I became friends who talked about everything. Once, Anna invited me to play at her house. When I walked in, a beautiful girl about 5 years old rushed over and called Anna “Mother”. “Aren’t you still married?” I looked at Anna in surprise. Anna burst out with a “pouch” laugh. After comforting the girl to go upstairs to do her homework, she took me to sit on the sofa. Anna said: “The daughter is indeed mine, but she does not have a father.”
Later, I learned that there is a special website in Denmark. It is not a dating website or a dating website, but a special website for giving birth to children. If people do not want to get married, they can choose to have a child that belongs to them only through the special service of the website. Of course, the website keeps the privacy of the children’s “parents” very confidential. Anna couldn’t help but laughed at herself and said: “Our country needs more children, but we have resorted to various methods!”
I asked inexplicably: “The Danish maternity welfare policy is so good. It is a very happy thing to have children. Why are you still reluctant to have children?” Anna said: “Danish families are like this. Many families have only one child. Two children. What’s more, what do we need so many children to do, we have a lot of our own things to be busy…” Until then, I fully understood that young people in Denmark are more selfish and they are busy with a lot of self-consciousness. Interests, but they will never worry about having children to bind themselves, after all, they are also lazy. In this way, even if Denmark has the best fertility policy, what does it have to do with them?
What’s more interesting is that Anna told me that girls in their country are increasingly reluctant to have children. The average childbearing age was 25 in the past few years. Now it has become 29. Many girls who are unwilling to marry tend to be like She is a single mother like that, and it is really rare that she is willing to have a child.
The Danish men are even more exotic. They just don’t want to have children. They also send their sperm out. Denmark’s Orex Company is the world’s largest sperm bank, exporting Danish sperm to more than 70 countries in the world and is responsible every year. More than 2,000 babies were born. After listening to this, I was stunned. The Danish people seem to be fighting against the country with regard to the matter of having children. And I also feel that “creating people crazy” is not as good as letting the flow go, or having a baby happily will become a burden.
In the evening, when I got home, I told my husband that I didn’t plan to have a third child, and I was ready to get into the right track of life as a professional woman. The husband froze for a moment, then smiled and nodded, saying that he would take the time to communicate with his mother.
However, quite unexpectedly, a month later, I actually had some nausea symptoms. My husband took me to the hospital for an examination, but the doctor said with a smile, “Congratulations on your pregnancy.”
When the mother-in-law learned that I was pregnant again, she was so excited that she couldn’t sleep. She kept calling and videotaping her old sisters. She said that she wanted to have more grandchildren in her dreams. Having a child in Denmark is absolutely a blessing for every mother in the world. But no matter how happy we are, we all have to grasp a certain degree and can’t let it become a burden. After all, saving Denmark, a country with a population of only 6 million and a negative population growth rate, is not something you can do alone!