Many parents have experienced such a scene: Take your child to the mall to play, and he insists on buying a toy after his fancy. If you refuse, he will immediately start crying, beating, and losing his temper. The people next to you are looking at you and the child. In order to avoid this embarrassment, you may buy toys; some people choose to reprimand the child loudly, or even do it. Then, the child becomes a “bear child”, and you become a parent who can’t teach.
There are many similar situations, because the cognitive development is not yet complete, and most children will cry, lose their temper, roll around and play and other behaviors after their appeals are rejected. This actually involves a professional psychological term-emotional parenting. Child psychologists believe that the cultivation of children’s emotional upbringing should start in infancy, and the earlier the better.
Emotional parenting is a process of helping children improve their personality. The
so-called “emotional parenting” can be understood as the ability to recognize emotions and control emotions.
The average person spends 1/3 of their life in a state of bad mood, and people often need to fight against these negative emotions. If you are emotionally educated, you can have the ability to avoid, alleviate, and vent negative emotions, so that you can have fewer negative emotions and spend more time in a positive state. In a positive state, people will have higher efficiency in learning or other aspects, so as to obtain a more colorful life and better realize their life goals and ideals.
Emotional parenting is a process of perfecting personality. If a child can grasp his own emotions well, it is equivalent to grasping the most complicated aspect of life, which will have a major impact on the child’s growth. Therefore, it is recommended that parents take the initiative to cultivate their children’s emotional upbringing from infancy.
If the child is crying inexplicably, parents should take the initiative
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It is difficult for children to understand the more abstract concept of emotions. They need parents to tell them what is happiness, sadness, anger, and fear… At this time, picture book stories are a good helper for parents. Through storytelling, children can easily accept it. , which can make it easier to understand what emotions are and the differences between them, etc. In daily life, when a child shows emotions, parents should give corresponding reminders. For example, if the child is angry, the parent tells him, “I know you are angry”; if the child is happy, the parent can say, “You are a happy person.” children”. Doing so can help children develop an awareness of emotions and lay the foundation for emotional parenting.
After children understand what emotions are, how to express them is the second step in learning. Some parents will say that the child clearly knows the reason for crying, but ignores the parent’s questions and just keeps crying. What should they do to make the child express itself?
In the case of ensuring that children know their emotions, parents need to actively express their willingness to communicate. Parents can ask their children why they are crying, or they can make guesses about their crying to guide their children to actively express their thoughts. For example, ask the child if he is afraid because the room is too dark, and if so, parents will know. Through communication, children can also feel the comfort of their parents, so that they are more willing to express their emotions.
It should be noted that crying is only one way to vent negative emotions, but it is not the only way. If the child can only express by crying, parents should guide them and tell the child that they can vent through sports and doing things they are interested in. In short, it is to help children vent their emotions and not hold them in their hearts.
In addition, when a child expresses emotional appeals or expresses his own views, parents should not deny or correct them immediately, but should first express acceptance and understanding of the child’s expression, and then help him release his emotions correctly together. In this way, when the child has negative emotions again, because he knows that he will get the understanding and attention of the parents after expressing, he will be more willing to share his emotions with his parents and feel very safe.
Don’t blindly curb your child’s crying, but teach him that “crying has a time limit.”
If the child keeps crying, no matter how he asks, he is unwilling to answer, and the parents can’t guess what he is thinking, what should we do?
Faced with this situation, we can guide our children. For example, parents can tell their children that it is okay to cry if they feel sad, wronged, or afraid, and don’t just stop him from crying. After the child finishes crying, the parents need to sit down and patiently analyze with the child why he feels sad, wronged, and afraid, and tell him what to do next time he encounters this situation. In addition, parents should also tell their children that expressing emotions needs to be controlled for a long time. When parents find that their children have a tendency to stop crying, they can slowly stabilize their emotions by drinking water and taking deep breaths.
Children’s emotions will be largely affected by their parents’ emotions. If parents have negative emotions for a long time, children will become very restless, even irritable, unconfident, and have poor adaptability. Therefore, when parents face their children, they should always smile, cultivate and improve their children’s emotional upbringing with love and warmth, and help them develop a stable character.
