The ancients said: “Forty is not confused.” It means that after a person reaches the age of 40, he is relatively proficient in dealing with things, and there is no confusion. But when people reach middle age, many people feel that their energy and physical strength are not as good as before. There are often bottlenecks in career development. They shoulder the heavy responsibility of taking care of their parents, spouses and children. There is a “midlife crisis”.
Dr. Wang Bing, a professor of mental health at Peking University, said that “midlife crisis” is not a disease, but more like a phenomenon or stage of life that we have observed. In the book “Your Happiness Curve”, the famous Canadian psychologist Jonathan Rauch mentioned that people have major changes in middle age, and this period is the time when happiness is the lowest in life.
This period has several characteristics: a sense of powerlessness, a feeling of lack of mental and physical strength, and insufficient energy reserves; a sense of boredom, and no fun in life; a sense of hopelessness, a sense of hopelessness, and a sense of nothing to look forward to in life in the future, and aging after that; meaninglessness , can not find the meaning of life. I used to think that having a good job, a good partner, and having children is happiness. When I have all these things, I find that “I” is gone.
The “midlife crisis” has certain social factors, such as prejudice against age. In today’s workplace and society, it seems that youth is valuable, experience is worthless, and employers are not welcome if you are over a certain age… In addition, society also has prejudices against “energy”. There are often “energy myths” on the Internet: a female executive flies all over the world and takes care of three children. It seems that we all envy this kind of person and pursue such a “realm”. But from the perspective of stress management, the vitality of each person is inherently different. There are people who are particularly energetic, and there are people who walk. If you let a walker run a marathon, your body and mind will be overloaded. Coupled with some practical problems, such as impaired health, financial pressure, and parenting burden, etc., it makes “middle-aged” seem to be in crisis.
Middle age is the only way in life. If we encounter a “crisis”, how should we treat it? What is a good way to deal with it?
Change the angle, get rid of prejudice
Is it true that when people get old, there is only loss but no gain? Certainly not. With the increase of age and experience, people may become more and more wise, and have more wisdom to deal with people, things and various challenges in life. And wise people, no matter which field they enter, have a clearer understanding of the basic laws. In addition, when middle-aged people feel insufficient energy, this is to remind everyone to recognize what kind of energy level they are, which is a very important cognitive process for themselves. A low level of vitality is not a flaw, and wisdom can still make a difference. At this stage, we should set the priority of life, learn to cut out the complicated and simplify, adjust our life to adapt to the loss of energy, find our own rhythm and no longer run with others, and don’t keep breaking away from reality.
Comprehend life and rebuild meaning
Every time the meaning of life goes bankrupt, it is an opportunity to rebuild meaning. Middle age will go through a period of transformation. You might as well regard the midlife crisis as the second adolescence. When people reach middle age, they are confused again. The reason for the pain is that they are not reconciled, so they still have desires. Treat the low happiness experienced by people in middle age as a life stage, accept it as a normal development law, and not be an enemy of yourself, so you will not always resist or focus on the negative part, and it will be easier Take a holistic view of this change.
Reduce criticism and continue to grow
. In fact, part of the “mid-life crisis” is a crisis created by oneself, and that is self-denial. It is always easy to compare yourself with your classmates, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. If you can’t compare, you will feel that you have failed and accomplished nothing. If you hold this kind of solidified and closed thinking, you will feel that the success of others is a threat, and you will deepen your self-criticism and denial. No matter what age you are, you can have a growth mindset, know that you can do better in some things, and be willing to change through actions and learn from outstanding people, so that your life horizon will be broader.
Know how to talk, take care of yourself
In middle age, it seems that I am not as willing to expose all the truth and vulnerability as I was when I was young. But no matter how strong a person is, he needs an outlet for venting and someone to rely on. We must establish a harmonious and friendly social support system, and we can complain when we are in doubt or sad. At the same time, by listening to other people’s stories, you may also find that your own life is actually not that difficult. If you really have no one to rely on at this moment, you must learn to accompany and care for yourself, give yourself time to breathe, do things that make you happy, and develop a healthy way of dealing with negative emotions. Find something that can make you feel at ease or happy, and take care of yourself, so that your mood will change and your state will be different.
We always miss the age of 30 at the age of 40, and the age of 40 at the age of 50. In fact, each age group has its own characteristics. We must learn to accept that you are middle-aged and that there are things you cannot do. In short, it is great that a person can use his accumulated wisdom, resources, and abilities to concentrate on doing one thing for a period of time in middle age.
