Although “good horses don’t eat back grass”, in reality, there are not many people who choose to break the mirror after the divorce. While the divorce rate has risen year after year, the number of husband and wife couples flying back to the old nest has been increasing year after year. Remarried this road appears to be hundreds of times, but the selection and renewal of old people love, need love, courage, and wisdom …… mind need
is to regain happiness, or be hurt again
thank end to end 38-year-old, and has remarried her ex-husband Zhao Xiaoming 3 year. “On the surface, remarriage is a good choice. After all, it was not easy for me to live with my daughter. But I know that I am in pain after remarriage.”
Xie Duanduan and Zhao Xiaoming were introduced by people after marriage. happy. When the daughter was born, Zhao Xiaoming began to leave early and return late, sometimes staying up late. The company is busy and entertained, and wants to create a better future for children. Zhao Xiaoming has many excuses. Until one time, Xie Duanduan accidentally found a condom in his trouser pocket. She secretly opened Zhao Xiaoming’s mobile phone and saw many unsightly intimate photos. It turned out that Zhao Xiaoming started to look for women outside when she was pregnant. Xie Duanduan couldn’t share the same bed with such a man. She soon proposed a divorce.
After the divorce, Xie Duanduan had to work and take care of her two-year-old daughter. It was hard and hard to imagine. When the child began to ask “Where did Dad go” and “Why didn’t Dad live at home”, Xie Duanduan couldn’t help but ask himself, did this marriage go too hastily?
Every Saturday is the day when Zhao Xiaoming came to see the children. He never missed his time. He brought gifts to his daughter every time he came, and he accompanied his heart and soul every time. Seeing her daughter’s smile and seeing her crying in the dark when dad was leaving, Xie Duanduan’s heart was not particularly tasteful, and the idea of remarrying began to emerge.
Zhao Xiaoming did not remarry. From time to time, he proved to Xie Duanduan that he was alone and had no relationship with other women. He hoped to remarry, and Xie Duanduan’s heart was shaken. Parents and friends also repeatedly tried to remarry her. Two years after the divorce, the two remarried.
Zhao Xiaoming cherishes this lost marriage, works hard after remarriage, pays his wages, returns home on time every day, rushes to do housework, takes care of the children, and is undeterred to Xie Duanduan. Everyone said that Xie Duanduan did his best, Zhao Xiaoming really repented, she did not refute her mouth, but whenever the night was quiet, especially when her husband was on a business trip, Xie Duanduan would remember the past, and the intimate photos of Zhao Xiaoming and others appeared in her mind. Tightening after another. The husband proposed to live a husband and wife life, but Xie Duanduan refused instinctively in his heart. Even if he didn’t, it was perfunctory, and once he couldn’t help but call him “dirty”. Zhao Xiaoming swallowed, Xie Duanduan felt that he could not go back, but she did not want to divorce again.
Unlike Xie Duanduan’s inability to step out of the shadows of the past, Li Qi after remarriage is facing naked secondary injury. Because her husband Liu Hongbo gambled, lost a set of real estate and owed more than one million yuan in external debt, Li Qi decided to live with his son after divorce. A few years later, I heard that Liu Hongbo had changed his mind, repaid his foreign debts, and found a new job. After many beggings from her in-laws, Li Qi chose to remarry with her ex-husband.
In the first two years of remarriage, Liu Hongbo was very good to Li Qi and her daughter. He got off work on time every day, went directly into the kitchen after arriving home, and took his wife and daughter to watch movies and went to the park on weekends and holidays. Li Qi couldn’t help showing off to her friends: “My man’s prodigal son turned around and didn’t change his money. I’m really happy now.” In the third year of remarriage, a few burly men suddenly blocked the door of the house. It turned out that Liu Hongbo started gambling again, and the terrible scene in his memory was again. Staged, Li Qi is desperate to live. Unlike last time, although Liu Hongbo swore and knelt, saying that he would change, her daughter cried and begged her “Don’t divorce my father again!” The in-law sold a suite to help him pay off the debt, but Li Qi dared not Believe it, she felt that she had no face and regretted remarrying.
When a marriage has irreconcilable contradictions, many people will choose divorce. Divorce can indeed reduce some pressure or harm. However, divorce will also bring a huge psychological gap to the parties because of the change in role function, economic and housing changes. The interruption of kinship and the reconstruction of friend relationships will also bring more harm and pressure to both parties. Based on this, some people have to choose to remarry, but it is unavoidable to be hurt again.
Remarriage is not for healing, but for happiness
In general, there are several reasons for choosing remarriage: for children, parents or financial reasons, the divorce was too impulsive and the two still have feelings…After all, as age and experience increase, people will be more faced with marriage Reasonable and mature, one party will not blame all the blame on the other party. After understanding, tolerance and introspection, remarriage is not so difficult.
But before
remarrying , we must think about these things: First, why did we divorce, and those problems that once traversed between us have now been resolved? Because of the divorce in a different place, relationship between mother-in-law and some lifestyle habits, these problems are relatively easy to solve, and remarriage is not too difficult. However, if it is because of domestic violence, cheating, gambling and other principle issues, remarriage must be cautious.
Second, let go of the past and cherish the present. If the other party has stepped out of the past and you have been addicted to the past, remarriage is undoubtedly the same. Don’t always think about why he treated me like this in the past? Let it pass when things have happened. If you want to be happy after the remarriage, you must throw the last marriage into the garbage and manage your current life.
3. Actively improve yourself. The reason why the previous marriage failed, it shows that both parties need to adjust and grow. We can’t change others, we can only make ourselves better, so that we can adapt to marriage again. Otherwise, even if it is a personal marriage, it will not have a high-quality marriage.
While doing so, you should also understand what has happened to each other during the period after the divorce, and whether your personality or values have changed. After many couples remarry, the important reason why the relationship is difficult to recover is the lack of communication, and each other does not know what the other party is thinking, worrying about and suspecting.
Sociologists believe that remarriage is a “healing” method in the modern sense. Is it really advisable to use remarriage to treat divorced injuries? Although remarriage is to choose to live with a familiar person again, you think everything is easy, but if both parties are unwilling to change and communicate, remarriage is undoubtedly equivalent to “reviewing” the last mistakes and injuries, and at the same time giving each other more “homework”.
Learn to cherish remarriage can be as sweet as honey
Xiao Yan and her husband’s big bear are the best friends, and they got married after graduating from college. Soon after marriage, the big bear changed into a person. At the beginning of Xiaoyan’s pregnancy, the pregnancy reaction was serious. The big bear didn’t care at all. She was also squeamish and found various reasons for leaving home. He went out after get off work to eat out and then came back. On weekends, holidays and friends, he went to ride in the suburbs. Every time during the birth inspection, Xiaoyan went to the hospital himself.
When she was 4 months pregnant, Xiaoyan accidentally fell and the child was drained. After three days of taking care of her, Big Bear still stayed with me. The baby was gone. He didn’t seem to be sad at all. After sitting in Xiaoyuezi, Xiaoyan filed for divorce.
After the divorce, the big bear changed a lot, and asked Xiao Yan howlly, bought this and bought that and went to see her parents in the countryside for him. He said that he only loved her in this life. Under his soft grinding, Xiaoyan chose to remarry. “After remarrying, I felt like I was married to a different big bear. I pledged the promises I gave when I remarried, and he fulfilled them one by one.” The divorce made the big bear grow, and the remarry made Xiaoyan regain happiness. When he learned that his wife was pregnant, the big bear kept taking care of him. The baby was born not long ago, changing diapers, breastfeeding, and sleeping. The big bear is called the gold medal “Yuesao”.
Hu Min and her husband are university classmates. They got married as soon as they graduated and had children the next year after marriage. Marriage’s firewood, oil, salt and trivialness made Hu Min more and more regretful, hating that she only looked at her face and not her family background and abilities, because her classmates married either rich or expensive. “Divorced from you today, and marry a rich second generation tomorrow.” 36-year-old Hu Min looks very young, has a good figure and looks, and is often shown by young men. Some people even encourage her to marry after divorce. Yourself. So every time she quarreled with her husband, she said that leaving him would find a better man. In 2016, Hu Min filed for divorce because her husband lent 200,000 yuan to her friend.
After the divorce, Hu Min found out that the man who had been attentive to her before only wanted to play with her. No one was willing to marry her, and no man loved her as her ex-husband loved her. Half a year after the divorce, Hu Min asked his ex-husband: “Will you marry me again?” He said, “I will come immediately.” After the remarriage, the two became a model couple in everyone’s eyes. Hu Min also showed off her husband as a peerless good man.
Good horse eat grass back
all of the divorce are wise to do? A survey shows that 70% of divorced people regret divorce. Some of these people are “splendid” with regret, while others bravely choose to remarry.
Lawyer Ke Zhi, the founder of “China Divorce Network”, found through investigation that nearly 60% of failed marriages are due to emotions and ignorance, so many people regretted and proposed remarriage soon after divorce.
Some people get divorced when they get married because of their young age and lack of experience in marital life, or because happiness is too easy to understand and cherish. But after the divorce, I found that a sincere relationship can be met but not requested, and the lover is still old.
Some of the factors that led to the divorce can be overcome by the efforts of both parties. For example, the divorce caused by the division of housework can be resolved if the two later express their willingness to share more, or ask the housekeeping staff; the divorce caused by the friction caused by the elders’ blending, and when the children are older, both parties will be more appropriate. Dealing with the relationship with the older generation; couples who divorced because of a derailment, only after they walked out of the siege, they found that the best is their predecessor, and they really repented… Although the old saying that a good horse does not eat grass, but if you go back Grass is better, why not eat it?
”Good horses eat back grass” actually has many advantages: if the love of the biological parents for the children cannot be replaced, the original couples have more trust in the common property. It is wrong to say that remarriage will lead to a recurrence of the tragedy. Find out why the divorce was in the beginning. When preparing for remarriage, observe whether the other party is more mature than before and whether you are willing to change. Then, the return of the marriage may be happier.
In the
five years of Flash Divorce, there were 6 divorces and 6 remarriages. Divorce if you don’t agree, and remarry if you say “I miss you”. “But family members on both sides don’t know, because we have been divorced and never leave home.” Yu Miao said that the two were classmates in high school and university. They only got married after 10 years of love. There are many beautiful common memories, but they are “worthy”. There are also many crashes. “For example, who went to the Chinese New Year for the Spring Festival, and said clearly that one year went to his house, the first year went to his house, and the second year he said to go to his house, do you say you are angry? The in-law urges us to have a second child, I don’t want to give birth He didn’t know the refusal, plus both of us were grumpy, who wanted to divorce, who was afraid of who?”
Generally speaking, after more than a month of divorce, both of them disappeared, and suddenly felt that there was no deep hatred, and went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to remarry . “In the beginning, the people in the marriage registry thought we were buying a house or splitting up the money. After many times, we knew that we were not reliable and treated marriage as a joke.” They
just remarried for the sixth time. Keep insisting that you never take marriage as a play. Yu Miao said that every divorce was really about wanting to divorce, because at that time she was very angry, but she really did not know how to deal with conflicts and contradictions, and felt that only separation was the only solution.
After 90, the young couple Wang Zhen and his wife divorced and remarried suddenly. The wife felt unwell, but Wang Zhen made an appointment to play games with friends. His wife smashed his computer with anger, and Wang Zhen blurted out and asked to “divorce!” “Just leave!” Early the next morning, the two went straight to the Civil Affairs Bureau. A few days before the divorce, Wang Zhen felt okay. After returning home from get off work on Friday, he suddenly felt that he could not have a wife. He asked how is her health? His wife sent a B-mode photo directly and was pregnant for two months. The wife wanted to kill the child. Wang Zhen begged and vowed that they would remarry 10 days after the divorce.
Some couples who are impulsively divorced because of non-principal issues, in fact, their emotions have not really broken. For them, divorce is a contradiction before “cooling down”. They will soon be able to recollect the taste and immediately decide to remarry, and the injuries caused by divorce to each other will be relatively small.
Remarried need love, courage and wisdom of
many young couples are divorced spur of the moment, or words that catch the words “leave no face.” There are also some problems, both of them feel very painful but can’t do anything. Divorce has become the best solution now. But after the divorce, I discovered that the trivial matter, so soon remarried… For them, divorce is more like a break up of men and women in love, the focus is not divorced, is to arouse the love of each other. For this type of couple, it is important to learn how to deal with differences and contradictions in marriage, otherwise the short-term separation alone cannot solve the fundamental problem.
In recent years, the number of divorces in China has increased while the number of remarriages has also increased rapidly. From 1997 to 2016, in the past 20 years, a total of 2.985 million couples have finally returned to their original partners after divorce. In 2019, China’s remarriage rate was eight times as much as it was 20 years ago.
Among the reasons for the increase in the number of remarriage, remarriage is not easy to be ignored. Because remarriage will produce more complicated family relationships, such as step-parents, step-children, and many people will mind the relationship between remarriage partners and ex-wife and ex-husband. Many issues such as children, predecessors, their own real estate and deposits, plus who they remarry are all an unknown journey, some people will find it relatively easy and simple to remarry with their predecessors.
Regarding the increase in the number of remarriage, many social psychology experts said that it is normal for divorced couples to remarry, and remarriage is also conducive to social stability and family harmony.
In fact, whether it is a young couple or a middle-aged couple, when looking for the other half after divorce, it is difficult to exclude the memory of the ex-husband (wife) in his mind, and it is inevitable that he will compare the other party with the ex-husband. Divorce is a new starting point for people who are trapped in the siege and unable to breathe freely. For those who are impulsively divorced or who really want to make changes after divorce, how can remarriage become a reinvention of each other? And a way to achieve both sides?
Because sometimes, separation is not the end of a relationship, it is more a battle between love and reality, and repairing a relationship such as remarriage is a game that requires wisdom and courage. Let the other party accept you willingly, and You are also willing to hold hands with him for the rest of your life. This is not a simple matter. It requires two people to work together to work together to add fuel to the marriage stove, and use true heart, loyalty and morality to maintain the noble and pure marriage.
