The most comfortable relationship is the unanimity of the three views

On the train of life, destiny arranges the script for everyone to play.

Some people are the protagonists of your life, some people are just passing supporting actors; some people appear to be cherished, and some people appear destined to say goodbye.

Faced with all kinds of people, only by living our own attitude can we make accurate choices and walk side by side with the right people.

People with the same three outlooks are free and casual when getting along, chatting without too much scruples, and doing things without too many rules; people with inconsistent three outlooks always deliberately talk with each other, for fear of saying wrong is the handle, saying that it will become provocation.

People live a lifetime, don’t make trouble for yourself, if the three views are not in harmony, why bother to invite into your life.

01

Three views are different, not the same

Psychologist Horney said: “The biggest gap between people is not status, rich or poor, education or beauty or ugliness, but values.”

For a relationship, the three views are the foundation. The foundation is not good, and no matter how splendid a building is, it is just a castle in the sky, and it will not last long.

You saved money for a long time to buy a nice dress, she said directly: “Do you still need to save money to buy this brand of clothes?”

You bought a few nice souvenirs when you were traveling, and they were pleasing to the eye when you went home. He wanted to say “the decorations are not practical, and it is cheaper to buy them online.”

When you see a beautiful dance, you are so excited that you want to recommend it to people around you. As a result, some people say: “If you want to dance, it’s better to make more money.”

What frustrates us is not unhappiness, but happiness when we find the wrong person to share.

When you share joy, he thinks you are showing off; when you talk about sadness, he thinks you are pretentious.

I have heard many people complain that getting along with people who do not agree with the three views is no less than a psychological offensive and defensive battle, and I feel exhausted physically and mentally.

If the world of two people cannot fit together, don’t force it. The so-called good gathering and good separation is probably the best attitude to respect a relationship.

02

The three views are different, so you don’t have to be friends.

People with the same three outlooks can be invited into life and become our good partners in work, confidants in life, and partners in love; for those who do not agree with the three outlooks, forgetting about each other as soon as possible is the best result.

Chatting with friends a few days ago, she said that her new job was not going well, which made her feel broken.

Friends have always attached great importance to the personal image of going to work and dress up carefully every day, while some colleagues always add fuel and jealousy behind their backs saying that she is not reliable at work and wants to rely on beauty; she likes flowers, and she buys a bouquet every week and puts it on her table. She is seductive, and she is ridiculed every day about the prodigal. She is a newcomer, so she often tries to work overtime to adapt to her work, but she provokes a sentence: “So desperately, do you want the boss to notice you?”

The friend pulled his face and said helplessly: “Isn’t working hard to make money just to live a better life? We manage our own lives carefully, how can they become unpredictable in their eyes?”

I can’t help but think of a sentence: “Selfishness is not about a person living according to his own wishes, but asking others to live according to his wishes.”

Many people always regard themselves as a benchmark to evaluate others, and always use their own three views to speculate on others maliciously. The three views do not require exactly the same, but can seek common ground while reserving differences. Although you are different from me, I can respect and Tolerate your difference.

If you are not all the way, why bother to make friends.

People who can’t live together can keep a reasonable distance, or just ask out of your life.

Those who truly love life must first know how to respect the lives of others. Learn to light up every beam of light in ordinary days without extinguishing the fire of happiness for others.

03

The most comfortable relationship is the unanimity of the three views.

Liu Zhenyun wrote in “One Sentence Is Worth Ten Thousand Sentences”: “A person’s loneliness is not loneliness. One person finds another person, one sentence finds another sentence, and it is true loneliness.”

A lifetime is too long, being with people who do not agree with the three views, every day, the taste is the same, it is more terrifying than loneliness itself.

When meeting people with the same three views, life is like eating candy, with less embarrassment of being splashed with cold water, and more warmth of being encouraged and accompanied.

Zhou Youguang and Zhang Yunhe, the fathers of Chinese Pinyin, were once rated as one of the hundred loving couples in the century. The fortune teller said: You two can’t live for 10 years. But the two have held hands for 70 years. Countless friends and relatives asked Mr. Zhou about the “Marriage Classics.” This old gentleman thought about it seriously and said: “We two drink tea at 10 am every day. When we drink tea, we two will raise our eyebrows together. Three in the afternoon. At four o’clock, we drink coffee. While drinking coffee, we raised our glasses and raised our eyebrows again. We raised the cups high and touched them. There are four steps to clinking glasses. Raise-raise-respect-close.”

Both husband and wife have the same view of feelings, and both take the initiative to create a sense of ritual in life. Celebrating together, celebrating the holidays together, not stingy with hugs and praises, it is this “ceremony” of love, and the two have become one of the “100 loving couples of the century”.

Many times, we feel lonely, not because we are unaccompanied, but because we do something that nobody understands. If you are with people who don’t understand you, you won’t be recognized for anything.

All harmonious and long-lasting relationships in the world are essentially comfortable. Only those who have the same three views can go long-term. When I meet, even in the turbulent life, I will not lose my original self and reach the other side of the yearning side by side.

Life is long, and I hope you can walk with people who know how to tolerate, respect, and appreciate each other.

May your happiness not lack the audience, and your story will be listened to.

May you meet some interesting souls.