Stay away from violence, don’t let love be an adventure

  The girl Yunduo (pseudonym) had only been in love for 7 months, and she discovered that her boyfriend Gangzi (pseudonym) had two faces: when he was in a good mood, he was funny and considerate; when he was in a bad mood, he yelled at Yunduo and even fisted. Work was not going well, Yun Duo said a few more words with the opposite sex, and he encountered a few red lights when driving…no matter how big or small things are, they can all be the fuse for his emotional out-of-control. Later, Yun Duo, who could not bear the violence, proposed to break up, but was repeatedly threatened with death by Gangzi. In desperation, Yunduo asked the Women’s Federation and the public security organs for help. It took more than half a year and finally escaped from this nightmarish love affair.
  In love, many women will be dazzled by love, turning a blind eye to the violent tendency of the lover, thinking that the other person is only in a bad mood, or forgiving the violent behavior of the lover because of a few sweet words. When they entered the marriage, they discovered that the violence of the other party was escalating, and they were already in the quagmire of domestic violence. Therefore, in addition to enjoying the sweetness of love, women must remain sensible and guard against “violent signs” in their relationships.
Psychological portrait of the violent

  Love violent persons often have the following psychological characteristics:
  long-term low self-esteem, feeling that they are inadequate, genetic inheritance, strict family education in childhood, simple and rude words and deeds by parents or caregivers, all may lead to excessive inferiority or the formation of inferiority and self-esteem. Complex personality intertwined. In this kind of people, self-esteem is even higher than life. Whenever they encounter setbacks, they want to prove their abilities through violence, and vent to objects he considers safe.
  Negative emotions are easy to be stimulated, and the ability to control emotions is poor. When encountering negative life events, romantic violent people often respond in a negative way, which is easy to produce negative emotions. To cope with negative emotions, normal people will seek reasonable ways to vent, such as exercise, crying, talking, traveling, being alone or seeing a psychologist. However, romantic violent people often fail to learn positive and positive ways of coping with stress and controlling emotions in childhood, which leads to the inability to vent negative emotions in a healthy way in adulthood, but to anger others, such as partners.
  Lack of empathy, incomprehensibility or even ignorance of the pain of a partner. Empathy can be interpreted as the ability to “put oneself in to understand” and empathize with one’s heart. If the cohesion of the native family is low and the members take care of each other less, it is difficult for people to learn empathy. When they encounter problems, they only care about their own feelings and ignore others, and cannot empathize with the suffering of the victims.

  Love relationships with added violence are dark and painful. If you are in it, learn to stop losses in time and stay away as soon as possible.

  Possessive and always insecure. Such people do not have enough sense of security in their relationships. They often suspect that their partners have improper relationships with others. Once possessiveness or jealousy is ignited, they may resort to violence.
  Very strong, strong desire to control Love violent people generally have a strong desire to control their partners, their thinking logic is “If you don’t do what I think, then I will hit you obedient”, trying to use violence to control the partner.
“Violent Man” Identification Guide

  People with “violent physique” tend to be very disguised. In the early days of love, they are often considerate and show a selfless “giving-out” personality, which makes it difficult to associate it with violence. They can also make you gradually indulge in a state of being pampered, psychologically dependent, and even feel completely inseparable from them. The following methods can help you stay awake and identify whether the other party is violent as soon as possible.
  1. Extend the “interaction and trial period.” Men and women will have a trial period before they formally communicate and establish intimacy. Properly extend this period, you can discover more characteristics of the other party. Whether the two are suitable, whether the other’s personality is really good, whether the “warm man” trait is true or pretending, the answer will surface over time.
  2. Know his family. In the process of love, talk about family and parents with your boyfriend more, and get in touch with each other’s family more. If the boyfriend’s father usually beats and scolds his wife, he may also have his father’s shadow on him.
  3. Look for opportunities to chat with his friends. Some boys may deliberately hide their nature from you before marriage. It is difficult for you to judge whether he is prone to domestic violence by his behavior, words and deeds. You can usually find opportunities to communicate with people around him, such as friends, colleagues, classmates, etc., to find out the image of your boyfriend in their hearts from the side, such as whether he gets angry for no reason when getting along, and how his attitude is when he disagrees.
  4. Observe his attitude towards the weak. Pay attention to his attitude towards children, the elderly, service personnel, and small animals. For example, will you lose your temper and yell at the waiter when the food is served slowly; will you take the initiative to help when you see children and the elderly; will you be afraid of authority, bullying, and being hard-headed?
Please learn to stop loss in time

  Love relationships with added violence are dark and painful. If you are in it, learn to stop losses in time and stay away as soon as possible.
  First, recognize the damage. Healthy intimacy will allow self-growth, allowing both parties to obtain good emotional value and psychological benefits. Unhealthy and violent intimacy can make people feel extremely painful and cause serious physical and mental harm, so stay away as soon as possible.
  Second, eliminate the guilt experience. Many people feel that once an intimate relationship is concluded, even if they are dissatisfied, they should also tolerate the other party. They even think that the reason why the other party will be violent is because they don’t care enough and do a good job. People with violent behavior generally have psychological and character problems, and the tolerance and tolerance of the victim cannot save this dangerous relationship. Therefore, there is no need to feel guilty.
  Again, seek all kinds of support. Women victims of violence often have a sense of shame and fear that their family scandals will be exposed, so they refuse to tell their relatives and friends the first time, let alone call the police or seek help from government organizations such as the Women’s Federation. When experiencing violence, you must seek help from your family, society and the law in time to avoid putting yourself in a more dangerous situation.
  Finally, do a good job of psychological counseling. Love violence is a serious mental injury, which can cause the violent women to fall into serious self-depreciation, bad negative emotions and low sense of value, and even have many psychological problems or mental illnesses. Some women have difficulty getting out of the shadow of domestic violence throughout their lives. They are afraid of the relationship between the sexes, have eating disorders, insomnia, and paralyze themselves through the abuse of tobacco, alcohol and tranquilizers. Therefore, women who have suffered violence must actively seek professional psychological assistance.
  In fact, there are not a few men who suffer violent behavior in love and marriage. Both men and women should resolutely say “no” to violent behavior, and love should not be an adventure.