In addition to the fact that they really don’t understand, don’t know, and don’t know how to do it objectively, it’s a mentality problem for many people to talk about “no”. One is to deliberately say no. They don’t really don’t, but they are used as an excuse to avoid trouble or not want to help. Another possibility is to subconsciously refuse to change and not want to try new things.
Compared to learning a new skill and solving a new problem, it is indeed the easiest to say “no” directly. This is due to people’s inert instinct to avoid refuge. In addition, when people reach a certain stage, they will lose their curiosity and spirit of exploration for new things, and they will reject learning new knowledge and new skills. There are also some elderly people who decline in various body functions as they age. Even if they want to get in touch with new things and learn new skills, they feel that they have more than enough energy.
Often talking about “will not” will become a very negative psychological suggestion, and I feel more and more that I can’t do anything. I suggest you:
1. Replace “I won’t” with “I will try”. When you encounter something you can’t, don’t rush to say that I won’t. When this sentence is said, in fact, he is already setting limits and discouraging enthusiasm. Say “I will try” more and encourage yourself to take a step. It will not only give yourself a positive psychological hint, but also let the people you live with know that you are willing to work hard.
2. Politely refuse to embarrassing things. When you encounter someone asking for help, don’t rush to refuse with “no”. When you encounter a request that makes you embarrassed, you can explain your difficulties, politely refuse, and don’t use “I won’t” as a perfunctory.
3. Understand the “no” of others. No one is omnipotent. When others say “I won’t”, you don’t need to be disgusted or disappointed immediately. Try empathy, understand the other person’s situation or ask the reason in good faith, you can give encouragement and help and make progress together.
