Young people in modern cities have a fast-paced life and are unwilling to wait for many things. This attitude has also been brought to the field of marriage and love, and it is easy to fall in love. Love has become like fast food, it comes and goes quickly. Many people only contacted a few times on the mobile phone, and after a few meals, they changed from “acquaintance” to “fall in love” or even “flash marriage”, and finally separated with “we are not suitable”. However, if you really want a long-lasting affection, “quick fix” is impossible, and you need to constantly add to “love”. Love is a protracted marathon, and every level needs to “take your time”.
1. Get to know each other slowly. Now there are many online platforms or software for young people to find friends and partners. This is good for expanding the social circle, but don’t think that after chatting online for a few times, you are familiar and you are friends, and don’t fall in love because of it. The so-called “seeing people’s hearts over time” means that people who think they are not bad must make an appointment to meet, and they should meet several times. From all aspects to understand the true character of this person, from his words and deeds to understand his hobbies, character, three views and so on. Before treating the other party as a friend, you must spend more time and interact with them with reservations, and don’t be fooled by appearances, flattering words, etc. and quickly give everything you have.
2. Get to know each other slowly. When it comes to friends or ambiguity, don’t make premature commitments out of fear of losing the other person. From having a good relationship with each other to truly understanding each other is a long process. Knowing each other and getting along with each other requires “play” and “chat”, which are the most important links in communication. Many of our childhood friends regretted being separated because they couldn’t play together, so it is very important to explore the “common interests” with each other. In the process, you can learn about each other’s strengths, growth experience, as well as his family, friends, and whether he is compatible with his group. We must also learn to “chat”. After there is a certain goodwill and common interests between men and women, there will be a desire to talk. When you are in the understanding stage, you should pay attention to two things: ① what kind of life the other party wants to live and what kind of person he likes; ② the views on life and family that the other party has repeatedly expressed. You can use this to judge whether he is right for you.
3. Love slowly. After falling in love, don’t worry before entering marriage, mainly to find out each other’s comfort zone. Lovers are not the same as friends, and you will further step into your lover’s private life circle. In it, you can see more and more complex personalities of the other party; know his habits, even bad habits; understand his specific way of getting along with his family, friends, and colleagues; and his private views on money, life, etc. . It takes a long time for you to get along to know whether the other person is in your comfort zone and whether it will bring you stability, happiness, and happiness both now and in the future. Therefore, lengthen the time of love, and don’t jump into marriage quickly for peace of mind. Although marriage is relatively strong and has contractual characteristics, there are certain risks when you don’t know each other. It may not be worth the loss, even affecting family members or children.
Regarding love and marriage, let’s listen to what Eileen Chang said in “Half Life”: “I want you to know that there is a person in this world who is always waiting for you, no matter when or where, anyway, you know, There is always such a person.” So don’t be in a hurry, enjoy the process slowly, and it will come naturally after a deep understanding.
