Perfect character development

  There are probably a lot of people like me who sneer at conventions and rules in all their forms. Those colorful, categorized diary stickers, well-planned “recipes of the day,” and shows like “School with Marie Fuji” I never liked.
  However, it’s not a huge problem for me, although my clutter can sometimes make me feel like I don’t fit in with the people around me, especially when I’m in the suburbs of London with other mums. They always show up to parties on time, carry everything they could possibly need, and always look perfect.
  Lately, though, I’ve started wondering how my life would change if I were like them. After all, being casual can also be exhausting at times: scrambling to get things ready for a picnic at the last minute, having a kennel-like mess in the house, never finding keys, being late for appointments…if I Can change that and maybe I’ll be healthier and happier.
| Personality is not static |

  Traditionally, psychologists believe that a person’s personality is relatively stable throughout life. But research in recent years has shown that personality actually develops throughout a person’s life. Moreover, people can consciously change their personality. Given that some personality traits are strongly associated with life satisfaction and levels of mental health, the news is good news for many.
  What psychologists call “character” refers to the habitual patterns of thinking, emotions, and behavior that a person exhibits over time. That is, a person’s personality cannot be judged by their behavior over a short period of time, such as days or hours. At present, most psychologists use the “five-factor model” to measure a person’s personality, that is, five personality traits – openness to experience (the ability to accept new things), conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness and neuroticism ( emotional stability).
  Of course, there are also objections to the “five-factor model”. Some researchers argue that the model struggles to capture a person’s deeper, more subtle personality. Other psychologists believe that this pattern does not capture all aspects of a person’s personality, such as some “dark traits” or even a sense of humor. But even so, the “five-factor model,” the measure most commonly used by psychologists, underlies most personality research programs today.
  Researchers typically use questionnaires to assess the five major personality traits of test subjects, which contain various questions about the test subject’s thoughts, emotions, and behavior. The personality test, which was the first step in my personality improvement program. The test results were interesting, I scored highest on openness to experience, indicating that I like to be independent rather than conformist. I also scored highly on Extraversion and Agreeableness. But I scored low on emotional stability, suggesting I may be prone to anxiety. Finally, in the conscientiousness category, my score is the lowest at 44 out of 100.
  Psychology believes that the formation of personality is affected by genetic factors and environmental factors, and the growth environment will play a key role in shaping a person’s personality. Over the past 20 years, many studies have proven that people’s personalities change throughout their lives. A study by psychologists Roberts and Allermans at Illinois State University found that, on average, between the ages of 20 and 40, our scores on each of our personality traits improved. Between the ages of 40 and 60, people’s scores on conscientiousness and emotional stability continue to rise. After the age of 50, the scores on Affinity improve rapidly. After the age of 60, we start to have a harder time accepting new things and are not as extroverted as we were when we were young, which may be the reason why social activities are greatly reduced in old age.
  Psychologists usually use the “standard deviation value” to measure a person’s personality change over a lifetime, the difference from extreme introversion to extreme extroversion is equivalent to three standard deviation values. According to Roberts, certain personality traits, notably conscientiousness and emotional stability, vary by a standard deviation over a person’s lifetime.
  Also, some personality traits may change significantly in a short period of time. In 2017, psychologists at Illinois State University analyzed 207 studies of the efficacy of psychotherapy, which tracked changes in some patients’ personality traits. They found that patients who were successfully cured of depression, anxiety and eating disorders after conscious intervention not only became more emotionally stable, but also more receptive to new things.
| You can be who you want to be |

  As a positive feedback on the treatment plan, the patient’s character is developing in a good direction, which is of course a good thing. However, I want to know more, whether an ordinary person can consciously change his character. The answer is yes. In February 2021, psychologists at Illinois State University published a new study. They conducted an experiment with 1,523 young Swiss who wanted to improve one of their personality traits. All subjects were asked to install an app on their smartphones that would issue them some targeted tasks. For example, if the subjects wanted to become more outgoing, the software release tasks included chatting more with new acquaintances, etc.

Can forcing yourself to be organized change the underlying nature?

  After three months, the researchers found that those who wanted to boost emotional stability, extraversion or conscientiousness were successful. Their personality traits changed by about 1/3 standard deviation to 1/2 standard deviation, almost half of what a person would normally expect over a lifetime. In this regard, Roberts said, “people’s personality can change rapidly in a short period of time, which is far beyond our expectations.”
  Everyone knows that personality traits can affect the way we think and behave. In fact, the effect is reciprocal, and our thoughts and actions also affect character traits. Many of the subjects were still working toward their goals after the program ended, Alleman said. Personality changes make us see the world in a new way, and the feedback others give us will change accordingly.
  Now, it’s my turn to change. Alemand said that if a person wants to change his character, he must have sufficient motivation, because it is not easy. Thinking about how your life will change after you become better is also a way of “playing chicken blood”.
  How to change yourself, there is a famous saying that applies very well – “pretend to be strong until you are really strong”. I took the to-do list in an appendix to one of Roberts’s psychology papers, a very long list that included doing tiresome chores, organizing app icons on your phone, and getting your clothes ready the night before for the next day. I also got into the habit of carefully proofreading emails before sending out, and planning every hour on my calendar almost every day, constantly reminding myself that I’m about to organize an interview, go to the gym, or write a 500-word essay…

  Four weeks later, I took the personality test again. In conscientiousness, my score rose to 56, a marked improvement. In addition to conscientiousness, several other personality traits have also changed. I seem to have become more easygoing and more emotionally stable. This could be related to the increase in conscientiousness, or it could be because the results of each personality test fluctuate a little bit, which is why psychologists often test repeatedly.
  If changing character is possible, should each of us change our character? Research shows that the vast majority of people want to change some aspect of their personality, especially conscientiousness and emotional stability. Roberts believes that the focus should be on emotional stability, which may help reduce psychological problems such as anxiety and depression.
  It is worth noting that problems can arise in the process of changing personality traits. For example, some companies may pressure employees to participate in some kind of character change training, which may well be against the employee’s wishes. Another area of ​​ambiguity is how to safely implement personality change programs, especially when there are no researchers around to guide them. It’s possible that you change one personality trait and cause others to change as well, and the results may not be what you expected.
  So, before you can create a better version of yourself, you first need to think about what changing your personality really means to you and what motivates you to make the change. If your goal is to improve your health and well-being, changing your personality may seem sensible. If it’s just because you feel the pressure from the people around you, then there’s no need. As Alleman said, in reality, most people’s personalities don’t have any negative impact on them, and it’s important to learn to accept yourself.
How to become more…
outgoing

  The simplest tasks include proactively chatting with a waiter, saying hello to a cashier, or giving a positive comment on a new update posted by a stranger on social networks. Advanced tasks include inviting friends for coffee and having some topics prepared in advance, or attending a social gathering. You might also consider opening up to a friend about an issue, joining a club, inviting an acquaintance to dinner, or organizing an outing, etc.
emotionally stable

  Write down the little things you are grateful for every day, keep a journal, exercise at least 15 minutes a day (and increase your exercise time as appropriate), and set aside 30 minutes a day for your hobbies. When you’re worried about something, don’t think about the bad, think about the best-case scenario. Donate to charities and try to find positive details from negative experiences to motivate yourself.
Affinity

  Simple tasks include keeping a smile, complimenting others, treating others to coffee, and documenting every good deed you do for others. Join a charitable organization and try to accept someone else’s point of view or forgive someone who has hurt you. Attending conflict resolution training can also help.
open to experience

  You can listen to a new podcast, go to an art gallery, or try food you’ve never had before. You can also spend half an hour a day reading a novel, figuring out the merits of a song you don’t like, watching a debate match, or asking a friend for his opinion on a controversial topic and trying to understand his point of view.