Butterfly in heart

  After entering college, I became fascinated by applied books and buried myself in Lifelong Growth, Time Management, Speech and Speaking, Self-Management and Goal Setting, and more.
  My grades in class were okay, and I also tested my skills in extracurricular practice and won several awards. The most exciting thing is that the project I presided over won the national honor in the College Student Innovation and Entrepreneurship Competition, which made everyone look at me with admiration.
  ”She is very motivated and hardworking.” This is the teacher’s view.
  ”She’s working hard.” My family thought so too.
  They didn’t discover my secret: in fact, my heart was filled with a butterfly that wouldn’t stop and kept flapping its wings.
  Instigated by butterflies, I lived my life like a tornado. The eye is calm because I know exactly what I want—I want to live a life where I stand tall and are surrounded by smiling faces. However, looking at the sea in the midst of people coming and going for a long time, I am also lonely.

  One day, I received a call from my high school friend Qingxi. We were separated because of the city where the university was located, and we only chatted occasionally on the software. On the other end of the phone, she said shyly, she wanted to come to my city and hope to come to my school to have a look.
  Qingxi is as shy as ever! I understand her voiceover – she wants to see me. Of course, I want to see her too! We were very good friends in high school and are still very good friends.
  I agreed and started to get excited about Qingxi’s arrival.
  My excitement may have something in common with the excitement before the emperor got his new clothes. I hope to weave my recent struggles and achievements into a gorgeous garment and show it to Qingxi. I hope she can praise me, the best Therefore love me more – because I am so good.
  However, this is illusory.

  For two days after Qingxi told me the news, I was in a state of excitement and busy. Finally, on the day Qingxi arrived, I fell ill.
  Is that sick? It is better to say that the spiritual level is abnormally weak, and it is the other extreme after being excited to the extreme.
  I got nosebleeds in the middle of the night. I watched indifferently as the blood soaked the tissue red, waiting for the blood to stop. Everyone was sleeping and I was waiting, I actually wanted to scream, but that would be rude.
  The next day, blood-colored tissue balls filled half of the trash can. It was difficult for me to get out of bed, and I just felt all hopeless. Qingxi called and said that she got on the subway that came to this city.
  I said, “Okay. My dear, I’ll sleep for a while, and I’ll play with you later.”
  Qingxi quickly noticed my situation and asked, “Are you tired?”
  ”Maybe you’ll be fine.” I replied.
  At the end of the call, I asked myself, “Can I speak without counting?”

  I slept with despair on my arms. When I woke up, I still had a splitting headache. When I saw the alarm clock, I immediately called Qingxi. She was in the park, and the photos she sent were of green spotted bamboos and bright yellow flowers in the drizzle. I found out that the park is 27 kilometers away from where I am.
  My head hurts more. I finally said to Qingxi, “I’m sorry, Qingxi, my condition is really not very good, maybe…”
  Qingxi was kind and understanding, as always. She said, “Okay.” She
  was ashamed. I turned off my phone and fell into a deep, dark sleep again.

  When I woke up again, it was the beginning of the lights. I turned on my phone, but there was no message in it, so I went to see the news shared by Qingxi.
  This blows my mind! I jumped up from the bed and sat up, leaning in to see the pictures of my school that Qingxi took.
  ”Qingxi, you came to my school?” I asked.
  ”Yeah.” Qingxi replied.
  I thought a lot in my heart: Qingxi, why didn’t you wake me up? You can call me…Isn’t it a pity that you come and go quietly like this? I’m so sad, how are you feeling now?
  I finally asked, “Are you mad at me?”
  ”I’m just too tired. I walked a long way today,” Qingxi said.
  ”No, I mean it looks like you came to my campus this afternoon and took a picture there,” I said.
  ”Yes, you were sleeping at the time. When you woke up, I was ready to leave.” Qingxi continued to reply.
  Strong emotions rushed into my throat, it was my fault, and I felt very guilty.
  But Qingxi said: “I’m a little sorry for you, I went but didn’t see you.”
  I was shocked, and the words couldn’t stop pouring out: “Why! I’m sorry for you. Because you are coming, so I I was so excited that I lost my strength, so I was exhausted, caught a cold, and slept. You took such a long car to my school, and we didn’t even meet.”
  ”There will be opportunities in the future. Your condition is not good. Well, sleep is very important.” Qingxi comforted.
  ”I think you are more important than this. The 27-kilometer road, I can’t support it, but you are already near me, why don’t I see you? You are very important! You can’t believe our feelings so much, so Not believing in the importance of myself. I would be very distressed,” I said.
  I cried, and cried very embarrassedly.

  I started to reflect on my life.
  Since college, the methodology has been my “monkeys” and “cannons”. I rode them to the sky, regardless of what I asked myself to go forward and even go to the sky. However, life with only methodology is risky, fireworks explode in the air, and I fall unprepared from the sky.
  It was Qingxi who caught me.
  ”Silly girl, everyone says that you must put yourself first, otherwise you will be bullied, but you are worth it… You make me have the desire to pay.” I choked and said, “I can’t be condoned by your tolerance, kindness, and melancholy. Bad. I will tell you more and more how important you are in the future.”
  The emotion I wanted to convey was so strong that I didn’t vomit: “I accept your kindness and consideration for me, and because you are I care about it, and I feel very happy and happy. However, out of my feelings for you, I also hope that you don’t make compromises in front of me.”
  Qingxi said, “Okay.”

  I finally breathed a sigh of relief.
  After relaxing, I was in the mood to joke: “If we look at it from a farther, macro perspective, does this look like “The Gift of the Maggie”?”
  ”Now I know it again from personal experience When it comes to how bad it is to be mentally fragile. Next, I will focus on energy management, maybe…” I said, “By the way, because you are so kind, I often find myself disgusting. So occasionally be self-willed and make your own demands, Let me have a chance to love you.”
  ”Well…” Qingxi replied.
  The butterfly in my heart, the butterfly that never stops and flaps its wings forever, finally flew out of the bottle that locked it. It was Qingxi’s kindness and tolerance that liberated it.
  Across the screen, we cry, we hug, we accompany, our hearts are closer.
  After that, I never took the achievement as my whole.