Everyone wants to have a happy life. In people’s imagination, happiness means a happy family, a smooth career, harmonious interpersonal relationships and good health.
Generally speaking, if a person has a higher income and is in a higher class, his happiness will also increase accordingly.
Harvard University spent 76 years conducting a Grant study, which began in the late 1930s.
At that time, 286 experimental subjects participated in the study. From adolescence to old age to the end of life, the researchers struggled to pursue the answer to the question. It was not until a few years ago that they finally came to the experimental conclusion , and this conclusion is enough to give us a better understanding of life. bring significant revelations.
These experimental subjects are all high-quality white men. They have handsome appearance and strong body. They are absolutely responsible for their good looks among the crowd.
Due to the turmoil and changing times of the last century, they have experienced many major changes, such as World War II, the Great Depression, and the financial crisis.
Some people gradually lost the idea of struggle in the turmoil. They were confused, harmed their health, and eventually died early. But some people did not change their beliefs, made a comeback, and finally achieved great success.
What kind of person can become a winner in life?
To achieve this, you must complete 10 events, two of which are related to income, four of which are related to physical and mental health, and four of which are related to intimacy and social knowledge.
The way you get along with your mother in childhood can have an impact on your work efficiency as an adult, and the way you get along with your father is closely related to anxiety in adulthood, happiness during holidays, and satisfaction with life in later life.
Since the direction of the research is mainly related to interpersonal relationships and happy life, there is not much difference between introverted and extroverted personalities, and they have little relationship with IQ. Regardless of whether the IQ level is 110 or 115, they all have the same income as those with 150 or above flat.
But those who scored highest on measures of interpersonal happiness had higher-than-average maximum annual salaries.
In short, if you want to be a winner in life, you must obtain love and happiness, and good interpersonal relationships are the core, which determines a person’s life level to a great extent.
If a person has love, he will recover quickly if he is injured, but if he is lonely and has no love, he can only heal himself when he is frustrated and damage his health.
Where do love and happiness come from?
From a single perspective, love and happiness come from the other half of an individual. A good other half is like a soul mate. They can gradually improve our personality and lead us on the road to happiness.
Some people meet the right person in their teens, while others don’t meet the right person until they are in their 30s.
Family, friendship and love can all be summed up in intimate relationships. As long as you obtain one of them before the age of 30, you will have a good foundation for the rest of your life.
Friendship and family affection can allow people’s efforts to gain social support. When we receive a steady stream of recognition and energy, happiness and satisfaction will increase along the way.
In the second half of life, that is, between the ages of 30 and 80, marital happiness becomes the main theme of life. Success in work, emotions, and hobbies, physical state, and mental state are all closely related to marital happiness.
The quality of a marriage depends not only on the time but also on the quality. If a marriage lasts for thirty or fifty years but is not harmonious most of the time, then the marriage can be regarded as a failure.
With the advent of the era of late marriage and late childbearing in China, people’s expectations for marriage have gradually declined. Many people say that getting married is too tiring and stressful. Instead of living a hard life with two people, it is better to be free and comfortable alone.
What exactly does marriage mean to a person?
The first meaning is that it allows us to have a deep connection with another person and gain great happiness through this connection.
The second meaning of marriage is to give us new social roles, such as husband, wife, father, and mother. These are all new life experiences that unmarried people and celibates cannot experience.
The third meaning of marriage is that the other person can meet our shortcomings and needs. People cannot be perfect, but finding a high-quality partner can not fill your shortcomings.
The so-called high-quality partner does not mean a perfect partner. As long as he can meet 1 or 2 of your core needs, he will meet the requirements.
If you want your partner to be very good-looking, don’t be too harsh on his sweet-talking ability and ambition. If you want your partner to be financially strong, then you have to tolerate that he can’t stay with you for a long time, or that he has low looks. Objective fact.
In short, a quality partner does not necessarily have to be of higher value than us, as long as it satisfies one or two of our core flaw needs and has certain bottom-line qualities that we can tolerate.