Capricious destiny, the most formidable aspect lies in the abrupt stroke of adversity. Hence, grappling with misfortune emerges as a pivotal quest in life. As Seneca espoused: ‘It is not what you bear that truly matters, but how you endure it.’
How does one endure? The following delineates three fundamental precepts. Firstly, adversities often materialize abruptly. The general principle dictates that entities evolve gradually yet deteriorate swiftly. Therefore, readiness for any potential emergencies is imperative. Deliberating solely on mundane circumstances renders one vulnerable to the overwhelming whims of fate. Ailments, incarcerations, and sundry natural or man-made catastrophes constitute anticipated occurrences. Pregaze at every prospect as an imminent eventuality, thereby nullifying any unforeseen occurrences. Preparedness attenuates the impact of whatever vicissitudes befall you. Conversely, those who solely anticipate providential fortune find themselves grievously affected by any misfortune. Abrupt calamities wield greater havoc upon individuals, with suddenness amplifying their weight.
Secondly, when misfortune strikes, composure becomes imperative. Avoid magnifying adversities. The extent of one’s misfortune resonates in tandem with their own imagination. A certain solace manifests in successfully enduring pain, although the act itself yields no joy.
Refrain from revisiting past anguish or divulging it to others. Mere prior discontent does not necessitate sustained unhappiness. What merit exists in such a course? Furthermore, isn’t it common for individuals to embellish their tales of suffering, deceiving themselves in the process? The ordeal isn’t insurmountable. Consider prisoners; initially shackled life proves unbearable. Over time, they acclimatize and the ordeal ceases to be unbearable. Habituation, designed by nature, assuages the pangs of diverse misfortunes. Regardless of the enormity of anguish, adaptation is attainable.
Thirdly, Seneca accentuates the value of misfortune and suffering in life. One bereft of misfortune forfeits comprehension of nature’s other facet. Individuals numbed by excessive good fortune truly encounter misfortune.
Suffering presents an avenue for virtue. Devoid of encountering misfortune, neither you nor anyone else discerns your capabilities. Self-awareness necessitates trials. Should one bask perennially in opulence, how can their composure amid destitution be ascertained? Dwelling in a milieu suffused with adulation and acclaim, how can their resilience against calumny, ignominy, or public odium be gauged? Rigidly adhering to the principles of teachers to pupils, gods impose the loftiest trials upon those they hold in highest esteem. Those summoned to endure the crucible can proudly proclaim: ‘God deemed me worthy to gauge human nature’s endurance of suffering.’
Seneca tenderly consoled Marcia, engulfed in the sorrow of losing her son. In an extensive missive, he proffered plain yet profound counsel on assuaging grief, counsel that resonates even today. Seneca advocated against self-flagellation through excessive sorrow engendered by misfortune. Mourning a beloved’s demise is human, yet moderation should govern it. Humans, unlike animals, augment grief beyond natural bounds. Animals mourn their offspring’s loss intensely but fleetingly. A cow mourns for merely a day or two; a mare’s frenzied gallop is transient. Beasts fretfully trace their stolen progeny’s path several times before acquiescing. Solely humans perpetuate their sorrow, wallowing in it for protracted durations.
Numerous individuals experience sorrow not in accord with nature’s decree but in conformity to societal conventions and opinions. Their sorrow fails to align with its actual depth but corresponds to an imagined standard. Their tears serve as a spectacle for onlookers. Once unobserved, tears abate. Feigning sorrow aligns with societal expectations, where even the most intimate emotions intertwine with theatricality. Nevertheless, while initial sorrow might draw sympathy and solace, protracted sorrow soon turns disagreeable. People evade and deride, for excessive sorrow denotes either folly or hypocrisy. Hence, the entire scenario descends into absurdity. Yielding to others’ perceptions fosters disdain rather than empathy.
Public opinion is fundamentally unethical. Acquiescing to societal notions invariably culminates in tragedy. Hence, harmonizing with natural emotional ebbs while tempering sorrow through rationale to a fitting degree proves the rightful tribute to departed kin. As Seneca imparted to Marcia: ‘One cannot cherish the memory of a loved one if it begets perpetual anguish.’
An imperative facet in addressing grief involves not merely evading it. Post misfortune, many embark on foreign travels or immerse themselves in pursuits to eschew grief. Seneca contends that while such endeavors might momentarily divert sorrow, they fail to assuage it. After a hiatus, grief resurfaces with renewed vigor. The efficacious approach involves employing reason to vanquish grief, compelling its complete capitulation. Where to glean this prowess? Seneca’s response—philosophy.
Philosophy bequeaths comprehension of life’s verity, facilitating compliance with fate and endurance of misfortune. Seneca expounded on this truth while addressing Marcia’s anguish over her son’s demise. He proffered potent maxims. The crux of one encapsulates: ‘The common destiny of humanity is mortality. You, your progeny—mortal. Can a mortal frame birth immortal fruits? The realm where your son resides, others seemingly more fortunate than him hasten thither. Hence, in a world where mortality reigns supreme, neither should one bemoan their own demise nor protract sorrow for departed kin.’