Blood or Bond? Unraveling the Intimacy Puzzle: Siblings vs. Spouses

As we all know, human social interaction is composed of the following parts: parents, relatives, brothers and sisters, husband and wife, children and friends.

These parts are all intimate relationships in communication. To a certain extent, they help us improve ourselves and transform us into individuals who exist within the larger concept of society.

In our families, the relationship between brothers and sisters will gradually change from a close relationship to less contact. The reason is mostly that after getting married, a closer relationship with oneself is established, which is what we often call husband and wife.

Therefore, some sociologists have raised this question: Among human intimate relationships, which one is more intimate, the relationship between husband and wife or the relationship between brothers and sisters?

To this question, psychologists have a sharp answer.

After exploring from the perspective of human evolutionary history, we came to the conclusion that human beings establish various intimate relationships in order to adapt to the surrounding environment.

Because it is difficult for an independent individual to find sufficient food in the large natural environment, and it is also difficult to resist the invasion of external dangers.

Therefore, in order to survive better, they started from the unit of “home” and developed into a huge tribe formed by blood relationships. This is also the process of the formation of primitive tribes.

This thinking mode of judging closeness based on kinship has existed for thousands of years. Since this relationship is not the result of self-selection, it is naturally formed, so it has become the fairest connection.

In popular perception, family members are an integral relationship connected by blood.

Therefore, many people are more relaxed in front of their families and will unscrupulously expose their imperfections.

Under the influence of this symbiosis psychology, when a person becomes successful, he will support other people in his family. The relationship between relatives will become closer and closer, and exchanges of interests and mutual help will become more and more common.

But at the same time, there are also many “vampires” who will use this to extract benefits from their families to satisfy their own desires.

Just like the role of Su Daqiang played by teacher Ni Dahong in the TV series “Everything is Fine”. He mediates between his children in order to obtain more benefits.

Judging from the character relationships in TV series, there are many differences between the relationship between brothers and sisters and the relationship between husband and wife.

The eldest brother returned home from abroad because his mother died of illness. Since he has formed a new family, he will pay more attention to the “small family” rather than the estranged brothers and sisters.

From this we can draw the conclusion that as far as blood relationship is concerned, it does not determine the degree of intimacy between people.

People’s social relationships mostly rely on mutual companionship and common interests.

The final ending of the TV series is quite satisfactory, and family relations have been eased. Many people are not satisfied with this ending, but thinking about the mainstream concepts of our society today, this will be the choice of most people.

Judging from the inertial thinking mode of mankind for thousands of years, choosing to forgive and belong to the family is the most likely choice to make.

It is understandable for people who are not evil-doers to forgive each other after making changes.

Human social relationships are complex, and the relationship between two people cannot be judged based on one factor alone.

Levinger and Snoek proposed the “Model of Interdependence” as the best explanation for this situation.

This view holds that intimate relationships are characterized by long-term, frequent interactions and greater mutual influence.

Therefore, the intimate relationship between people is not stable and will change with people’s growth, environment, experience, etc.

When we leave home as adults and form our own small family, our original intimate relationships will also change, from members of our original family to our partners and children.

As we interact more with “new” intimate relationships, through the “simple exposure effect”, we will become more and more dependent on the people we are in frequent contact with.

In other words, the more frequent interactions you have, the closer you will become to each other.

As the relationship between the two parties progresses, their respective personalities and other aspects will be exposed to varying degrees, thereby deepening their understanding of each other, which also makes the intimate relationship gradually stable.

In the process of a person’s growth, the objects of communication are different at different stages.

In childhood, the relationship with parents and relatives is the closest, especially with preschool children.

After going to school, I started to have more friends, and I established close relationships with my classmates and brothers and sisters of similar age. After working and having a family, people will focus on work and family again, and become closer to their partners and children.

In Erikson’s theory, everyone has to complete different development tasks at different stages of life.

Adulthood is mainly about solving the impact of intimacy on loneliness. To establish intimate relationships with others, get to know each other and fall in love, you must first learn to dedicate yourself to each other. This theory also explains why during the growth process, intimate objects will change into love partners.

After a person establishes an intimate relationship as husband and wife, his dependence on brothers and sisters will be reduced, but this does not mean complete alienation, it is just the only way for everyone to pass through in the development process.

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