From how a person interacts with others, you can especially see his life. It doesn’t depend on whether you are popular, whether you have many friends, or whether all kinds of interpersonal relationships are harmonious. Good popularity may be due to easy-going personality, or it may be due to smooth behavior, which cannot explain the problem in itself. In dealing with people, Confucius emphasized the word “faith” the most, which I think is right. Whether you treat people honestly and without deceit can best reflect whether a person’s character is upright or not.
Even if a person has friends all over the world, as long as he betrays one of his friends, we have every reason to doubt whether he really loves his friends, because if he thinks it is necessary, he will also betray other friends. “Being friends without trusting them” can only succeed in selfish desires for a while, but it is a big failure in life.
Whether things go smoothly, including status, property, reputation, love, marriage, and family, is often subject to external factors and is beyond one’s control, so it should not be the main goal of life . Of course a person should not regard as the main goal of life what is beyond his control.
The only thing a person can really control is his attitude towards all these external situations, in short, how to behave. The most important thing in life is not happiness or misfortune, but to maintain the integrity and dignity of being a human being regardless of happiness or misfortune.
I do think that being a person is more important than career and love. No matter how proud you are in vanity and love, if you fail as a person, you fail in life as a whole. The most important thing is not what position you occupy in the eyes of the world, who you live with, but what kind of person you are.
With a mature belief and a clear direction in one’s heart, a person can respond quickly and appropriately to everything in the outside world, as if there is an instinct at work.
It is a basic requirement for a person to have his own clear and firm values. Of course, this requires experience and thinking, and it is always a dynamic process. However, you will eventually find that values are not abstract things at all. When you get a great sense of happiness from the values you pursue and cherish, you will know that you are right, so you will not find it difficult to persist.
The power of values cannot be underestimated. In the final analysis, what people live in this world is a value. For individuals, values determine the realm of life. For a country, values determine the degree of civilization. Between people and between countries, conflicts of interests only lead to temporary struggles, and conflicts of values create long-term gaps.
Therefore, on the issue of values, one must think carefully and make decisions for oneself.
There are two realms of doing things. One is the realm of utilitarianism, where things and related interests are the only purpose, so when doing things, you must be full of anxiety and calculations. The other is the realm of morality. No matter what you do, you always regard spiritual gains as more important. Doing things is only a means to cultivate and improve the soul, and the real purpose is to be a human being. Because of this, I have a calm state of mind and a broad atmosphere when doing things.
In the long run, the results of doing things will eventually drift with the wind, but the harvest of being a person can last forever. If there is a God, all he sees is how you behave as a human being, and will not ask what you have accomplished. In his eyes, everything you have accomplished in this world is too insignificant.
Living in the world, we inevitably have to bear various responsibilities, ranging from family, relatives, and friends, to our own duties, to the country and society. Most of these responsibilities should be assumed. However, we must not forget that in addition to this, we also have a fundamental responsibility, which is to be responsible for our own life.
Everyone has only one chance to live in this world, and no one can replace him to live again. If this one and only time in life is wasted, no one can really comfort him. Knowing this, how can we not have a strong sense of responsibility for our own lives? In a sense, all kinds of other responsibilities in the world can be shared or transferred, but the responsibility for one’s own life can only be fully borne by oneself, without relying on others at all.