In the Montmartre Cemetery in Paris, there is such a white marble tomb that is particularly eye-catching.
A repeated sentence is engraved on both sides of the tomb: “Alphonsina Plessi (1824.1.19-1847.2.3) rests here. You are deeply missed.”
Plessy is a girl who once fell in love with French writer Alexandre Dumas, and she is also the prototype of Marguerite in the famous work “La Traviata”.
The poignant and beautiful love between Marguerite and Armand in the book is difficult for many people.
Be it love or life, how can we grasp happiness and leave few regrets?
After reading “La Traviata”, I realized that it is often unreliable to rely entirely on others to bring happiness.
Only relying on oneself is the greatest salvation.
Only by going inward can you fill your desires
The writer Song Mo once said:
“We often enter into such a vicious circle. We always think that if we get something we have been longing for for a long time, our hearts will be stable and satisfied, and we will be happy from then on.
However, after getting it, I felt that it was nothing more than that, and even greater desires followed immediately. ”
The heroine Margaret once fell into such a torrent of desire.
She was born in poverty, and her parents died when she was young. In order to make a living, he went to Paris alone at the age of 15 and was forced to hang out in romantic places.
With her pretty face, she soon became the leading courtesan in Paris.
Because of her love for camellias, people call her La Traviata.
She was extravagant, luxurious, and lived a life full of stars. In order to maintain the extravagant living expenses, he owed huge debts.
She understands that the fanaticism of those suitors is nothing more than seeing her as a vanity that can be shown off.
But the arrogance of being surrounded, the extravagant life at your fingertips, mixed with carriages, jewelry, banquets… Made Margaret lost again and again.
The laughter during the day when the guests were full, turned into desolation and paleness at night, filling Margaret’s heart.
She is stubborn and sober, well aware of this fleeting nothingness, but at a loss as to what to do.
This repeated vicious circle is tantamount to pushing oneself into the abyss of desire.
The overindulgent life made Margaret, who was already suffering from lung disease, fall ill.
Someone said: “Inner abundance is far better than material abundance.”
Maybe at first I just wanted to have a shelter in the middle of the rush.
After getting his wish, he hoped for a bigger house and a better car.
But did you find out?
In the busy day after day, desire is like a bottomless pit, trying to drain everyone’s blood and sweat.
And the hole will never be filled.
Once a person falls into the abyss of desire, he will feel anxious and irritable, and will eventually be backlashed by desire.
Only by going inward, reducing unnecessary extravagant expectations, watering the dry valley with spiritual food, and leaving a quiet place for yourself, can you be free and easy in the world.
Love is the decoration of life, but not life itself
At a lively party, Margaret excused herself to leave because of a lung attack.
Everyone else didn’t take it seriously, but Armand noticed Marguerite’s painful expression.
He rushed to Margaret and said excitedly: “Madam, you are committing suicide. I want to be your friend, your relative, and I advise you not to spoil yourself like this.”
Armand could no longer restrain the strong love in his heart in the past few years, and even swore to Marguerite that no one loved her more than himself.
For the first time, she discovered that besides those vanity, there were people who really cared about her.
Margaret bravely accepted this feeling.
She gave up the rich clothes and fine food provided by the old prince, and willingly cut off everything in the past.
At this time, she just wanted to find a place where no one was around, and start a new life with Armand.
But the sudden love made Armand feel unreal.
He loves Margaret, but keeps doubting Margaret’s sincerity.
Armand, who is worried about gains and losses, is moody, hot and cold towards Marguerite, and countless disputes make her miserable.
When he saw Margaret interacting with Earl G, he wrote her a breakup letter angrily.
Armand later learned that in order not to increase his financial burden, Margaret kept selling her jewelry and clothing to mortgage debts.
She used to be so well-clothed and well-fed, accepting all kinds of gifts brought by her own charm, falling into chaos but unable to escape.
I thought this life was nothing but helplessness and adrift in the place of love and moon, which was regarded as a plaything.
Now when I meet love, I think I see the hope of life, and I hold on to it as if I saw a straw, but I don’t know that this is the beginning of tragedy.
Writer Lu Qi once said: “Love is not everything, life is everything.”
We have all vowed that a moment is eternal, and we can’t wait to bet everything for love.
But love is just an embellishment of life, not life itself.
Just like Marguerite and Armand, it doesn’t matter if they are affectionate or in this life.
Such a desperate love will eventually lose to the devastated reality.
When I was young, I always thought of a vigorous love that would never be redone, and I was willing to do so.
After going through the world, I know that the mountains and rivers are easy to level, people’s hearts are unpredictable, what is gained is luck, and what is lost is fate.
Owning it with an indifferent heart can also save some wasted time and regret.
Loving yourself is the highest option for happiness
The appearance of Armand’s father Duval completely shattered their happiness.
He couldn’t stand his son messing with a prostitute and ruining the family’s honor.
After Duval persuaded Armand to leave to no avail, he tried hard and soft on Marguerite.
Duval told Margaret that being together would only ruin Armand’s future, make Armand’s sister lose her marriage, and bring shame to the whole family.
How could Margaret afford such a responsibility?
In order to fulfill the Armand family, she buried her love and soul with tears.
Because she loves Armand deeply, she can only paralyze herself with a more indulgent life.
Singing and singing every night made her physical condition worse.
Armand, who didn’t know the truth, concluded that Marguerite had betrayed him, and used various methods to stimulate her:
He purposely finds Margaret’s friend as a lover; fabricates all kinds of shameful scandals to frame her; and sends her a stack of banknotes to humiliate her.
Margaret did not make any excuses, and silently endured all the grievances and pains.
When Armand sees Marguerite pretending to be happily dating a count, he leaves Paris with hatred for her.
Margaret’s mission was finally completed.
Under the double torment of body and mind, she soon became terminally ill, but she never saw the figure of Armand before the sick bed.
With longing for Armand, Marguerite quickly passed away.
Once the most proud courtesan in high society, only pain and regret remained in the end.
I read a sad sentence:
“If you can’t learn to love yourself, you can’t get real happiness.”
When Marguerite entrusted herself entirely to Armand, even at the expense of her own life, she had already lost the initiative to hold happiness.
The same is true in life, obviously I also need to be favored, but I always put the needs of lovers and friends first, and silently bear all the grievances.
At the moment when the body and mind are overwhelmed, you may also be asked, “Didn’t you do it voluntarily?”
The thinker Montaigne once said: “He who loves himself can be loved by others.”
The key to happiness is always in your own hands.
When you start loving yourself, you will have the ability to love and be loved.
Loving yourself is the highest option for happiness.
As the book says:
She died in a luxurious environment, on the bed where she used to live, but also in the desert of her heart.
On the road of life, there are too many temptations and traps. If you don’t pay attention, you will be entangled in desires, lost in the past, and lose yourself.
But the satisfaction of material desires is only a short-term happiness, and indulging in the past cannot suspend the trivialities of the present.
Feelings are not a shelter for troubles, and all kinds of life need to be borne by oneself.
Instead of fantasizing about someone with unique skills, saving himself from the fire and water.
It’s better to realize as soon as possible that the only one who can really save yourself from the fire and water is yourself.