The Power of Self-Change: How to Improve Your Marriage and Relationships

Watch a writer write about her mother.

When she was a child, her mother had a very violent temper, and it wasn’t that she didn’t love them, it was just that she did it in the wrong way and beat and scolded them frequently.

In her childhood memories, her mother was very angry and yelled at every turn.

She didn’t have a good temper with her father either.

But fortunately, her father was well-educated and educated, so he never cared about these things.

I often take some newspapers back to my wife and encourage her to read more.

Her mother read it slowly, sometimes it took a long time to read it, and she was often immersed in the words.

Later, her father asked her to try to write some essays and help her contribute.

Unexpectedly, the rate of successful drafts was not low, and manuscript fees were constantly being sent in, which made her mother more enthusiastic about writing, sitting at the desk and thinking hard when she was free.

Later, although her mother didn’t write anything famous, she seemed to be a different person.

His personality has become softer and softer, and he speaks softly to everyone. He no longer has the violent temper he used to have, and the family has become peaceful.

Her mother understood that it was not because of her family that she lost her temper every day in those years, but because of herself.

When she changes, everything changes.

The older you get, the more open you are, and you can do whatever you like.

Today, an old lady in her sixties has learned to drive, and even drives on the highway to visit her daughter thousands of miles away.

The story of this old lady is not chicken soup, but ginseng soup. She didn’t have any so-called success, she just realized that the source of all unhappiness is herself.

Start to change yourself, not only to live a comfortable life, but also to make people around you comfortable.

I remember Dai Jianye, a professor at Central China Normal University, said:

“For love and marriage, you must never be ‘ambitious’. The greater the ‘ambition’, the greater the pain, and the more you ask, the less you will gain.

In a two-person world, you can have ‘high standards’ for yourself, but you can’t be ‘strict’ for your partner. ”

He said:

“I remember that when our honeymoon was just over, our family was full of wars.

I want to remake my wife according to my own standards, and my wife is determined to remake my husband according to her model.

At first, everyone thought that the other party could be reborn, but finally realized that the nature of a deadly enemy is hard to change. ”

Yes, in marriage, the one who changes oneself is God, and the one who changes others is neuropathy. You can’t expect others to give, but create it yourself.

My friend, sister Meizi, works in a very relaxed unit.

The child has been in that kind of closed management school since he was a child, and he only goes home during the holidays.

She has a lot of free time every day, but she doesn’t have any hobbies. She stares at the man every day and doesn’t let him go out.

Her husband usually has a lot of entertainment at work, and he also likes to be lively, whenever there is an occasion, he must come, so angry that Mei Zi often quarrels with him.

Every time I chat with me, sister Meizi complains about her husband, calling him useless.

To be honest, her husband is considered a pretty good man, he is very down-to-earth and has a good personality, even if his wife diss all day long, he just smiles honestly.

Sometimes I am afraid that Meizi will be full of negative energy when chatting with me. Every time I finish talking, I feel that everything is wrong, the world is not worth it, and marriage is even more unworthy.

One night a few years ago, my husband and sister Meizi’s husband happened to attend the same occasion.

At nine o’clock, I was reading a book when my cell phone rang, and it was Sister Meizi’s number. Before I could speak, she asked angrily:

“Has your guy gone back?

What time is it, still drinking, did you call? ”

I said:
“No, anyway, he feels uncomfortable if he drinks too much, but I don’t feel uncomfortable.

Who cares what he’s doing, maybe he’ll be pissed off, isn’t it nice to read books by himself?

Don’t bother with big brother, he won’t come back if he likes, you should wash up and go to bed early. ”

Sister Mei Zi saw that I was ignoring this, she hung up the phone muttering.

Last year, by some unknown chance, sister Mei Zi became obsessed with calligraphy, and even studied with a professional teacher for a period of time.

She said that she doesn’t want to eat or sleep every day, but just wants to write. As soon as she picks up the brush, she feels very happy and forgets all the troubles.

Her husband raised his hands to support her hobbies, bought her books, paper and pens, visited various calligraphy exhibitions on weekends, and took the initiative to do housework.

Sister Meizi and I are chatting now, and the painting style has completely changed. Apart from talking about calligraphy, they are almost always talking about topics such as “a happy marriage is worth it in the world”.

I can’t laugh or cry.

The man is still the same man, and the home is still the same home, but she lived on her own, and everything got better.

In fact, there are many marriages like this. When you yourself are not doing well, the whole world you see is very bad.

You can try to change yourself. When you are happy, not only the relationship between husband and wife will be better, but also the relationship with everyone will be better.

The writer Liang Wendao said:
“Whether it’s a man or a woman, if he doesn’t have the ability to live a good life by himself, then he doesn’t have the ability to live a good life with others.”

After the first season of “Sister Riding the Wind and Waves” hit the air, Yi Nengjing became popular again.

She and her mother-in-law are as close as a mother and daughter, and her husband is in harmony with each other. She is an angelic daughter. Many people say that she has played a bad hand of cards into a king bomb.

When she and Qin Hao first started dating, she once thought that she had a failed marriage, and now that the man was so much younger than her, she had no sense of security at all, so she burst into tears.

Qin Hao, who came out of the bathroom, was startled when he saw this scene, and hurriedly asked what was wrong.

Yi Nengjing cried and cried for a long time, from childhood unhappiness to failed marriage.

Unexpectedly, Qin Hao didn’t comfort her at all, but picked up his coat and wanted to leave.

Yi Nengjing asked why?

Qin Hao said coldly, “If you are sick, you need to be treated.”

Then explained:
“There are only two possibilities for the person you meet. The first one is as sick as you and thinks you are so pitiful. The two of you are here to start an endless tragic drama;

The second one, who wants to be your doctor, tells you what life should be like.

You will only meet these two kinds of people. ”

She realized this at once, she was a sick person, and she wanted to be cured.

She began to change herself and reaped the happiness she wanted.

Song Dandan said in an interview:
“Women marry themselves in the end, happiness depends entirely on you.”

Yes, life is a practice, we are all our own mortals, and marriage is the biggest dojo.

In the end, you will find that whoever you live with is actually living with yourself.

If you live well, your marriage will be fine, if you live poorly, your marriage will be bad.

Your life, you have to let it be in your own hands, and make it better little by little.

All beings are bitter, I hope you are sweet.