Life

The Importance of Timing and Emotional Intelligence in Communication

  As the term “emotional intelligence” gradually entered our field of vision, my “social phobia” became more and more serious. In my previous cognition, an expression that is not sincere enough is hypocrisy and arrogance. If so, then I would rather “shut up”. However, a few small things in life have subverted my thinking: even if it is “sincere” enough, if it is not timely, it is also redundant.
  In high school, everyone occasionally had the opportunity to wear private clothes. My dressing taste is indeed not good enough, and I often laugh at myself because of it, but deep down I still feel inferior. It’s a pity that vision cannot be changed overnight, and my pocket money is not much, which is not enough for me to practice too much.
  One time, I was finally looking forward to wearing my own clothes. I happily showed my new clothes to my deskmate and best friend, but she sharply commented that I had poor eyesight. At that moment, I was even a little angry. I expressed my inner discomfort to my deskmate, and my deskmate was also very wronged. She only told the truth because she felt that she was close to me. Hearing this, I instantly understood her thoughts, because when I get along with my friends, I often “speak my heart” like this.
  This dress is not worthless, it’s just ordinary. If other students wear it and ask her, maybe she will look for the bright spots of this dress. It is because of me that I use a stricter standard. But why do we choose to ignore the emotions of our friends because we can clearly take care of other people’s emotions?
  I have also made similar mistakes because of my self-righteous sincerity. When I was in college, because my roommate won a scholarship, he planned to invite our dormitory group to have a big meal, and finally chose a Japanese grocery store, with an average consumption of more than 300 yuan. This kind of consumption is too extravagant for us, so everyone is full of expectations.
  It was a sunny day, and a group of four of us walked into the Japanese grocery store. The clerk is thoughtful and enthusiastic. Although I waited for 20 minutes, it didn’t feel long. The blue glass divides many small compartments. Under the echo of the lights, we seem to be immersed in the rippling ocean.
  Sitting at the dining table, looking at the wide variety of dishes in the menu, it is inevitable to be dazzled, and finally ordered big lobster, abalone, sea cucumber, sashimi platter, dessert and so on.
  Although I have never eaten Japanese food, I instinctively reject raw and cold food, so facing the exquisite sashimi platter, I just picked the smallest piece and put it in my mouth. In fact, it is not unpalatable, but the physical discomfort of chewing the cold fish overcame the taste buds, and I have never touched that plate of sashimi since then.
  ”Although I don’t like eating Japanese food very much, I am very happy today.” I can guarantee my sincerity at that moment, but it was so inappropriate. Displeasure flashed across my roommate’s face, and the other two roommates quickly made jokes, and the topic was dropped.
  But every time I think about it afterwards, I still blame myself. With my self-righteous sincerity, I failed my roommate’s wishes. Although it was just an episode, and our friendship will not withstand such small waves, I still feel guilty for my recklessness that day.
  Later, I invited my friend to dinner, which was actually not expensive, but she was full of praise for it. Only then did I understand that her praise for the dishes was actually an affirmation of my hard work for it. Hearing her approval, I was still very happy in my heart, and I understood the state of mind of my roommate better at that time.
  For a while, work became a source of strength for me. Because I lack self-confidence, I am also cautious in my work, for fear of making mistakes, but my colleagues always encourage me and praise me in time when they see my shining points.
  Whenever I buy new clothes, if my colleagues think they are good, they will look for the bright spots and give them compliments. Although as I grew up, my aesthetics improved somewhat, but it was by no means reborn. I naturally understand that the “emotional intelligence” of my colleagues is mixed in, but this encouragement gave me a little more confidence.
  Of course, everyone can’t be “harmonious”. If you really make a mistake, you should point it out in time, but don’t be too harsh on your friends. Even polite compliments can also be sincere expressions. If you set out with the goal of looking for bright spots, you will naturally see the bright spots.
  And even if it is a sincere expression, it must be done with caution. Issues of principle must be pointed out in time, but why bother to speak out about insignificant things? In fact, you don’t need to be so “upright”. Sometimes hiding some of your remarks in good faith can make everyone happy, so why not do it?

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