Asymmetric rules in emotional presentation

　　One of the biggest deviations in emotional presentation is seeking symmetry, that is, discussing whether the love of both parties matches each other under the premise that you love me and I love you. When I love you a little more than you love me, or you love me a little more than I love you, the tilt of the emotional balance will make both parties in the relationship sensitively aware, and the imbalance can easily lead to quarrels and breakups.
　　Objectively speaking, there is no problem for people to pursue the symmetry of love and emotional expression, but in actual emotional relationships, asymmetry may be a more powerful and realistic emotional presentation.
　　The asymmetry in emotion may manifest itself in the following form: one party continues to take the initiative, while the other party continues to be passive, and there is no situation where the active party uses behavior to influence the other party; one party always praises, the other party always criticizes, and praises rarely In exchange for praise, there is often no basis for criticism; one party spends more money than the other, the party that earns more pays, and the party that earns less manages the money; one party undertakes most of the family work, and the other party does not spend money in his free time. Paying for work or housework; one party usually occupies the upper hand in speech, and the other party does not get equal opportunities to express…
　　Such asymmetry is not uncommon, so does this mean that there is a big problem in their relationship, and even make both parties Unhappy?
　　Asymmetry is likely to become a point of contention between the two parties in the emotional relationship, and the two parties that become the point of dispute will easily encounter difficulties in maintaining the relationship. However, according to my observation, asymmetry is also the key to maintaining and strengthening the relationship: both parties accept such asymmetry,
　　and Did not wait for the opportunity to change such asymmetry; one party is more patient and tolerant, and expresses love, surrender and abandonment to the other party for symmetrical needs; the matching of behavior habits that matches the personalities of both parties; after a period of running-in, Because the continuation of the relationship between the two parties is cherished, one party adjusts its own behavior pattern to strengthen the asymmetric relationship form that makes the other party more comfortable.
　　When an asymmetric relationship forms a relatively stable or even solidified pattern in psychology and behavior, it is even more stable than symmetry.
　　The beauty of symmetry and the relationship between symmetry are ideal forms in the world of human aesthetics and human imagination. People have even further simplified the rules of symmetry into the rules of half-and-half, one-to-one, and peer-to-peer transactions. Existence is not universal.
　　In real social relationships, there is seldom complete symmetry in interpersonal relationships, but more asymmetries of varying degrees. Although this is not in line with people’s prior ideals, it will cause many people to not accept or even resist at the beginning. If people understand the natural rationality of asymmetry at the outset, and reduce resistance, confrontation, rejection, and hostility, then we may move more quickly to the path of harmony and happiness.
　　In asymmetry, people can better express love, express willingness and rights to adjust for love, and express their efforts to get closer to each other, rather than a unified symmetrical format. Let the person you love talk more when you talk, do more for the person you love when you do things, give way when you quarrel because you love each other, and consider your lover’s sense of security when you have resources, so that the other party Take more control, isn’t this seemingly asymmetrical approach the expression and presentation of love?