You are not the center of the world

　　The last time I saw my middle school classmates, some hadn’t seen each other in more than 10 years. Lao Hu used to be my team leader in the class. When it was our team’s turn to clean, he was responsible for assigning tasks: who would sweep the floor, who would mop the floor, and who would take out the trash.
　　After graduation, among all the students in our class, Lao Hu was the first to work in finance, earning money with money. His judgments on exchange rates and housing prices in Beijing are always more accurate than those famous economists. He was the first to marry and found a good-looking girl. His first child was a boy.
　　Lao Hu once told us very proudly: “My son is very strong, and he chased and beat me when he was 5 years old.”
　　This time, my middle school classmates made an appointment to meet at a hot pot restaurant. I estimated that Lao Hu’s son should be around 20 years old. I said to Lao Hu: “The country has released the second child, you don’t want a child anymore?” Lao
　　Hu replied: “No more. My son is 19 years old, and he still chases and beats me. He doesn’t study well. I’m too tired.”
　　”My son doesn’t study well, why are you tired?”
　　”My son suffers from depression, pure nerd, and social phobia. He has studied more than 100 metropolises around the world, and determined that Tokyo is the only city on earth suitable for human habitation. He wants I will buy him a house in Tokyo, and if he gets used to it, I will meet the requirements of his parents, grandparents, and grandparents, and find a university in Tokyo.”
　　“Can your son live on his own in Tokyo?”
　　“Son has real expectations for himself. 　　Understood . He said he couldn’t live, and asked his mother to go to Tokyo to accompany him.”
　　”What if you don’t agree?”
　　”The psychiatrist said, don’t stimulate him, he is a patient.”
It was lively, and the bottle of wine was almost finished. I simply wanted to be more frank, and then asked Lao Hu: “Let’s deduce it theoretically. If your son chased you when he was 5 years old, you also chased him back to let him know that there is actually a certain order in the world. He is still alive now.” Will you chase and beat you? If your son wanted something crazy before he was 10 years old, and you refused with reason, and let him know that there is no self, will he still force you to buy a house in Tokyo now?”
　　”He went to school very hard and always did not study well. His grandparents arranged him to the best elementary school in Beijing, and then the best middle school. He has always been ranked at the bottom of his class and always cried when he came home. I think he should Be more considerate of him, satisfy him more, it is not easy for him. The pain he has endured is beyond the comprehension of a top student like you.”
　　I suddenly realized that Lao Hu made an adult mistake in educating children. Two mistakes are often made: too indulgent in life and too strict in studies.
　　As I was reading The Great Gatsby, I kept thinking that the first thing some great young man (like Gatsby) needs to understand is: “Even with all my best, even with all my luck, even with Do your best, and you still won’t get everything you want, not even a woman, not even a night’s peace.”
　　Thinking about it further, the first thing all children need to understand is: “You are not the center of the world, cry You ca n’t get everything.”
　　The first thing parents should do is to let their children understand: you can’t get everything you want, and the world doesn’t revolve around you—even though you sometimes have this illusion—you It is best to accept this calmly.
　　The second point that parents should do is to agree with their children that they don’t have to be successful. There are three basic goals in life: not to do evil, to be happy, and to support oneself. If you can achieve it, it is a very good life.