News

Mr. Cliffside

1

Later, Lin Jianmin believed that the re-emergence of Dixiu Cave was related to at least two people, and maybe a third person.

Lin Jianmin studied Chinese painting at an art college in a northern province. After returning home for the summer vacation of his sophomore year, he heard surprising news that a large-scale cave mural and a group of Buddha statues had been discovered in Xidishan Village. Experts in the province believe that the cave paintings here are relatively rare, drawn by monks in the Southern and Northern Dynasties, and the Buddha statues were carved by Tang Dynasty craftsmen. Lin Jianmin’s family lives in Yangcang Town, and Xidishan Village is under the jurisdiction of Yangcang Town. The newly excavated Diexiu Cave is right in front of his house. But then, he heard that the hole had been protected, and non-workers were not allowed to enter. Lin Jianmin frowned, thinking of a junior high school classmate who lived in Xidishan Village. Although he hadn’t contacted him for a long time, he still found a reason to call Shao Feng. Coincidentally, Shao Feng was working in a private company in Yangcang Town, and Lin Jianmin made an appointment to have a barbecue and drink draft beer after get off work to catch up. After eating two bottles of beer, the state of the person and the atmosphere of the environment were adjusted to slightly drunk, Lin Jianmin started the conversation, “Old classmate, how can you not see the art scene in front of your house? Besides, I am studying art. , watching the murals is also my learning task.”

Shao Feng smiled humbly at this future painter classmate, feeling that it was a trivial matter, and patted his chest and said, “This matter is covered by me, let you go in and see enough.”

Unexpectedly, the next morning, Shao Feng’s tone changed drastically, turning a full 180 degrees, “This is really not easy. The cave is sealed with a tarpaulin, and no one is allowed to enter without the permission of the county cultural relics bureau. ”

A basin of cold water poured down his head, Lin Jianmin’s heart suddenly became cold, but he was unwilling to let it go, “What should I do, is there no way I can do it? I just want to go in and have a look, even if I take a few glances, I promise not to touch it with my hands. Buddha statue.”

His earnestness made Shao Feng feel embarrassed and a little moved. Shao Feng pondered for a while and said, “I thought of someone.”

“Who?”

“It was Huang Jia who first discovered Diexiu Grottoes. The county rewarded him with 3,000 yuan for this. Now he has become a celebrity in Xidishan Village. He might be able to speak if he is a meritorious minister. My father is a village accountant, and he and I My dad has always had a good relationship, and he is also a righteous person, but the disadvantage is that he is a little greedy and greedy.”

“Give 500 yuan and let him lead the way?”

“I think there is hope, but I have to discuss it with him first. You wait for my call.”

Lin Jianmin was restless all day, he was eagerly looking forward to Shao Feng’s call, and he was afraid of bad news. It wasn’t until eight o’clock in the evening that Shao Feng’s call came, and he got up from his chair.

“The matter of entering the cave has been settled. For the sake of my classmates, who is still a young painter, Huang Jia promised to only charge 300 yuan, and he is responsible for it.”

This time, Shao Feng’s voice was brisk and firm, like a hot air current, which lifted Lin Jianmin’s body and mind and put it down smoothly, he grinned contentedly, and exclaimed sincerely, “Old classmate, you really can do it. ”

They chose a foggy morning to go up the mountain, which was not easy to notice. Lin Jianmin is fully equipped, including hiking shoes, professional cameras, flashlights, batteries, and quick-drying clothes. Huang Jia glanced at him and smiled mockingly, “My dear, it’s too professional.” Lin Jianmin’s face turned red.

Xidishan is a collective name for the mountains in the area. There are more than a dozen large and small in the area under the jurisdiction of Xidishan Village. Lin Jianmin has been studying in the county since junior high school, and only two or three can be famous. The mountains and mountains are connected, and it is spectacular when it extends outward. There are more than a dozen hills in each of the adjacent towns, forming a veritable forest mountain area. Entering the mountain, the forest is dense as weaving, and the leaves of various shapes flicker with old light in the dark, like the small eyes of the green elves. The rocks circled up, round like eggs, and steep like a knife and axe. Along the way, Huang Jia walked at the front. The two young men struggled up the jungle and rocks, panting, chasing the figure in front of them who shuttled freely. Huang Jia, the old monkey spirit, walks like a fly, and his mouth is unequivocal. When he has a little spare time, he tells his treasure-hunting experience, “That day was the first time I climbed Pagoda Peak. Hey, Pagoda Peak is the name I gave it, who made it? It looks like a pagoda in Yan’an. The Xidi Mountains are continuous, and even if the ancestors lived in the mountains, few people climbed every mountain. There is a cave a few meters away from the peak, which is very hidden. On the inner side, there is an extra-large Ganoderma lucidum, which is even better than the condition I found before, and my heart suddenly blossomed. I opened the weeds, and the hole could allow one person to enter. Yes, but I have also read thriller tomb robbery novels, and I am much more courageous than ordinary people. Otherwise, how would I discover the secret of the treasure?”

In normal times, Lin Jianmin would have been tired of this kind of noise for a long time, but today he was itching to hear it and asked a few questions from time to time.

It took nearly two hours to climb the Pagoda Peak, and the cave is slightly lower on the top of the peak. Lin Jianmin and Shao Feng stopped at the entrance of the cave, gasping for breath. The cliffs of the rocky cliffs grow fiercely, and they have not escaped from the magic of nature. The mountains and forests are densely packed, like a green river pouring out. The clouds in the distance cover the fog, the boulders in high places are like falling, the rock formations are as clear as carvings, granite, slate, gneiss, magmatic rock, hidden in the layers of the secrets of thousands of years of long sleep, the rocks are crumpled vertically and horizontally, every trace Textures are unique vicissitudes. Lin Jianmin’s learning in Chinese painting class immediately came to life, and he was amazed that this place is really a perfect place for sketching. He wanted to walk around to have a look, and then he took a step to the west, but Huang Jia grabbed him, “It’s not good to wear glasses. Don’t go over, there is a cliff in front of you.” Lin Jianmin looked down, and her scalp was numb. , a few steps away is the abyss, and there is a sign on the cliff in front of it, with the red words “This cliff, do not approach”.

Sure enough, a gray-green tarpaulin sealed the hole, and the perimeter was glued with black tape. Huang Jia took out a plate of the same black tape and a pair of scissors from his bag, and his expression suddenly became serious, “Let’s talk first, don’t think that you are also a painter, I will make an exception for you. I Huang Jia never do anything illegal. , I called the county cultural relics bureau before I went up the mountain, and said that my nephew, a college student who studied Chinese painting, wanted to go into the cave to have a look, and they gave me this face only after I promised not to touch with my hands, not to take pictures, and not to set an example. Time is limited, you Hurry up.”

Although Huang Jia’s way of speaking made Lin Jianmin a little unhappy, he nodded quickly. After all, he was able to come because of others’ credit. Entering the hole, each person held a torch to illuminate the light, the yellow armor was still in front, and the torch shone on a large rock in front of him, “If this rock hadn’t tripped me over, I wouldn’t have been able to find the box above, there was a roll in the box. Rice paper full of pictures. So I boldly deduced that there must be murals and Buddha statues in this cave.”

Lin Jianmin stared at the stone in surprise, “What is drawn on the paper? Is the box still there?”

“There are Buddha statues painted on the rice paper, as well as flying sky and the like, like Dunhuang murals. The painting box is gone, it must have been taken away by the cultural relic experts in the province. The province decided to form an expert group to explore the caves, which is estimated to be in a few months. Start the construction. Fortunately, your kid thought early, otherwise the gods wouldn’t be able to help you.”

The air in the cave was stagnant, and Lin Jianmin felt dry mouth and chest tightness. He took a few breaths and asked Huang Jia, “Who the hell came to copy the murals? Why did he throw his paintings in the cave?”

“You ask me? Only the devil knows. By the way, the provincial experts also found some hardened candle heads near the stone, with a bald brush, what kind of tiger hair.”

Lin Jianmin sneered, “Is it a Zhou Huchen brand brush?”

“That’s right, I’m still an expert painter. The Buddha statue, have you seen it? The murals should go further inside.”

Following the guidance of the flashlight, Lin Jianmin first saw a larger Buddha statue, with thick eyebrows and square ears, graceful and generous, with a sad and happy expression, and the knife was fluent and mellow. Immediately, several Buddha statues entered their eyes one after another, with different postures and expressions. The tall ones were several meters tall, and it was not necessary to say that they were rich. The small ones were no bigger than a fist. Some Buddha statues are well preserved, others have been damaged, the limbs are short, the faces are blurred, and the beauty is empty and incomplete. He felt pity and surprise in his heart, and kept tracing with his fingers in the air. What surprised him the most was the group of murals inside. The pictures were rusted by time and dimmed, but upon closer inspection, the beauty of the complex lines of the characters and scenery made him uneasy. Lin Jianmin stood silently, he couldn’t hear what Huang Jia said, only countless lines flowed and danced in front of him. At a certain moment, he even felt that the lines flew away from the stone wall and danced throughout the cave. He is like entering a time tunnel. One or two thousand years have not gone far. They are only temporarily evading and condensing on the stone wall. Now they spread out from every direction. The world, including him as a stranger.

At this time, Lin Jianmin suddenly remembered Professor Lu Sheng from his art academy. If the teacher was here at this moment, the beauty of art he could feel would be magnified many times.

“Experts say that after restoring these frescoes, the colors will be much brighter and richer than they are now, just like the frescoes of the Mogao Grottoes. By then, the Diexiu Grottoes in Xidie Mountain will be famous.” Huang Jia’s words were full of words. Proud, doesn’t seem to hide the admiration for himself.

Lin Jianmin also laughed, and then again thought of the artist whose whereabouts were unknown in the cave, and sketched several conjectures in his mind: The first, the artist was a wandering monk. Second, in the loneliness of being isolated from the world day after day, the artist finally got tired of it, then went out of the cave, went down the mountain, and returned to the rolling world again. The third is that the painter, after obtaining great artistic satisfaction, came to a cliff outside the cave, indulging in his own ultimate experience of natural creation and the treasures of his predecessors. After a long scream, he plunged into the void and abyss. The third conjecture just surfaced, and Lin Jianmin shivered. Looking up at the Buddha statue again, he suddenly felt that behind every smile he knew in his heart, there were clearly endless secrets hidden.

In the end, instead of taking a photo, he kept the murals and Buddha statues in mind. Before going down the mountain, Lin Jianmin turned his head to look back at this place that gave birth to the wonder and supernatural power of nature, which also threw fear and confusion at him. Since then, he will never forget this cliff and abyss. The gloomy air rose from the bottom of a huge invisible hourglass, penetrated into his heart, and finally formed a Lingling mystery.

2

Suppressing his urgency, Lin Jianmin didn’t call Professor Lu Sheng until evening. This time should be the professor’s leisure time. The bell rang for a while and no one answered. He made up a long message and carefully traced the cave paintings he saw during the day. At the end of the message, he strongly invited the professor to come to Xidi Mountain to sketch. Speaking of which, he was deeply influenced by his teachers. The professor is obsessed with the art of murals. He has visited the Mogao Grottoes many times. Whenever there are newly discovered murals in China, he will always go there as soon as possible, and he will not miss it this time.

An hour later, the professor texted back: I just went out for a walk and didn’t bring my cell phone. Thank you for the invitation. I didn’t expect that I would become a fear of heights when I was older, so I won’t go this year. Remember to draw and write every day.

Lin Jianmin was a little confused, not because the reply was only a few words, but because the teacher didn’t mention the mural at all, which was too abnormal. He remembered very clearly that in his freshman year, Professor Lu Sheng personally told the students that he had gone to Huangshan four times to sketch in a certain year, and had also been to Taihang many times. It seems that he went to Yandang Mountain last fall. So, when did professors start being afraid of heights?

That night, Lin Jianmin repeatedly pondered the frescoes in Diexiu Cave in front of the painting table. He tried to draw some sketches of the frescoes from memory. As he drew, for some reason, a human figure was sketched on the paper without realizing it. image of the painter. He felt a little weird.

The next day, he sent another text message to Professor Lu Sheng, mentioning a volume of copied murals and a Zhou Huchen brand brush in the cave. The cave has not yet been discovered. It is estimated that there are other mural caves around to be excavated, and by then, it may be a sensation in the whole country. This time, the professor quickly called and inquired in detail about the location and characteristics of the cave, and was particularly interested in the copyists in the cave.

Lin Jianmin said: “Huang Jia found a box on the stone, and the picture scroll was in the box. The copy painting should have been taken away by cultural relic experts in the province, and the bald brush and candle head disappeared.”

The professor asked, “Do you have any more information about the man who painted in the cave?”

“To be honest, I am also puzzled. If the teacher wants to know the details, I will send you Huang Jia’s phone number now.”

“That’s not necessary, I was just curious and asked casually.”

“Also,” Lin Jianmin said, still shocked, “there is a cliff a few steps away from the entrance of the cave. I didn’t find it. It’s very dangerous. But since the county has listed the Diexiu Grottoes as a key protection project, the surrounding area will soon be built. Put up the fence, and it will be safe to visit and sketch in the future. In addition,” he said after a pause, “I don’t know why, last night I always had a question in my mind, is there a possibility that the painter who was concentrating on copying in the cave? , After painting the manuscript and obtaining supreme spiritual satisfaction, he came to the outside of the cave. Maybe it was a moonlit night, or maybe it was in the early morning when the mist was ever-changing, and he indulged in his own extreme experience of the natural creation and the treasures of his predecessors. , completely forgot the admonition that there is a cliff here, and after a long roar, plunged into the void and the abyss?”

Professor Lu Sheng didn’t say a word. After a while, Lin Jianmin thought that the teacher had hung up the phone, but there was a dull “I don’t know”.

He added: “I assume it is possible.”

After the professor said “maybe”, he hurriedly hung up the phone. These three words sounded light and erratic to Lin Jianmin, which was completely different from the tone when he said “I don’t know” just now.

Two years ago, he was admitted to an art academy in a northern province, and after only one class from Professor Lu Sheng, Lin Jianmin fell in love with the art of Chinese painting, and at the same time, he fell in love with the professor and his paintings. Different from ordinary painters who have shoulder-length hair and arrogant behavior and speech, Professor Lu Sheng has short hair all year round, white face and long body, clean clothes, and a restrained temperament. He does not smoke, only tea and red wine, exudes a refreshing air. Reading Professor Lu Sheng’s paintings, Lin Jianmin tasted a kind of elegance and diluteness emanating from the bones, and the traditional beauty of Chinese landscape painting can be borrowed from Lu Sheng’s brushwork. Rather than saying that he was a painter, it would be better to say that he was a literati. Lu Sheng’s writing skills are good. This is a public opinion. In his 20s, before his paintings became famous, he published a collection of essays and essays. In some magazines, we can see his art essays from time to time. Lu Sheng’s class is not much, but the class is always full. He not only talks about the evolution and techniques of Chinese painting, but also integrates human history, literary anecdotes and philosophical speculation. Lin Jianmin was intoxicated and intoxicated, and a pulse of art flowed into his heart. He was fortunate that he had chosen the right school and major.

However, apart from some people taking the initiative to ask for advice, Professor Lu Sheng did not have much interaction with the students after class, and he did not deliberately maintain a distance from the students. Many girls are so infatuated with Lu Sheng that they often create opportunities to approach Lu Sheng intentionally or unintentionally, and his calmness is the most majestic shield. Lin Jianmin watched, seeing clearly, secretly laughing at those girls who thought they were pretty and artistic. Lu Sheng’s wife used to work in the Floating City Library. In order to take care of the family, she resigned early and came to the provincial capital. Lin Jianmin often sees the professor and his wife go shopping in the supermarket together and walk side by side on the campus at night.

Soon after, Lin Jianmin learned something about Lu Sheng from the senior students. Back then, Lu Sheng voluntarily dismissed the chairmanship of the Provincial Artists Association and came to the Art Institute as a professor. Until now, he is also the head of the Chinese Painting Department. Some of the students he has taught are professors at the Central Academy of Fine Arts and some at Tsinghua University. Whenever people mention these honors, Lu Sheng always smiles lightly, praises the students for their talents, and doesn’t talk much about himself. Under the fame, the professor took the initiative to hide his talent and edge, and abandoned the temptation of fame and fortune. Has he regretted his decision? This question flashed in Lin Jianmin’s mind many times.

There is still some kind of temperament or smell in Lu Sheng that attracts him, but Lin Jianmin has not figured out what it is after using it for a long time. A year later, his academic efforts and performance were affirmed by the professor, and he communicated more. He had the opportunity to drink tea and talk about art in the teacher’s studio, and he mentioned the teacher’s melancholy temperament. Lu Sheng looked at him from above the teacup and said slowly, “That’s not melancholy, it’s just that you have experienced too little.”

Lin Jianmin pondered on this sentence, drinking the raw Pu in cups, and finally fainted. Before that, he never knew that tea was also intoxicating.

Lu Sheng said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was the first time for you to drink raw Pu. I’ll make you some red dates and ginger tea to relieve your drunkenness.”

He squinted and said, “It’s not drunk, it’s just that I’ve experienced too little.”

Lu Sheng smiled like a child, “My brain is turning faster, and it seems that I am not drunk.”

After that, Lin Jianmin and the teacher had a little more tacit understanding, and unconsciously imitated Lu Sheng’s posture when he was lecturing and painting. He even made no secret of the fact that he wanted to be like Professor Lu Sheng. However, no matter how to imitate, Lu Sheng is Lu Sheng, he is still Lin Jianmin, he is 108,000 miles away from the teacher, let alone enter the spiritual world of the professor? In other words, Lu was an enigmatic existence from him.

3

This summer vacation, because of the health of his wife Lu Wei, Lu Sheng gave up his original plan to go out to sketch. At this moment, in his studio, Lu Sheng spread out a piece of rice paper. Several hours passed, but nothing was drawn. Until late at night, when Lu Sheng opened the window, the world was completely plunged into pure black silence. His rice paper was still a shy blank, a mass of silent pulp.

In contrast to this, his mind was turbulent and his mood was ups and downs. If it weren’t for the accidental call with student Lin Jianmin today, would something still be closed in the depths of his brain, motionless and silent as death? He then shook his head in denial.

It can be said that on an ordinary morning in early summer three years ago, Lu Sheng was also a mystery. He received a letter from Shaohong, a friend who had not contacted him for a long time. The letter was not too long. After the initial surprise, he read the letter. several times-

Lu Sheng, in the mountains for a long time, people become more and more lazy and cold, it seems that the remaining emotions of this life are handed over to the natural mountains and rivers, plants, trees, stones and birds. It’s been a long time since I wrote to you, and this may be the last one, who knows? My family has also expressed their desire to go down the mountain, but I guess they have already adapted to the days without me. People have to leave familiar people sooner or later, including family and friends. Time and space are not a secret room that traps people’s hearts. How much difference does it make between me and my absence?

The longer I live, the more I feel that the mountains are better than all imagined. If you come up the mountain at this time, you can still see the peach blossoms are blooming, and the fragrance of the world has already bloomed. There are dozens of plum trees, apricot trees, peach trees and pear trees in front and back of my stone cottage, which are pink and white. In the valley in the distance, the mountain flowers are blooming, mighty and bright like a brocade. I have built a few nests for swallows on the roof, and this year, a few chicks will be born. There are dozens of bird songs that I can distinguish now, and my hearing is becoming more and more sensitive. I have been drawing pictures of plants for 7 years, and their souls have been imprinted in my heart, but I will not take them out for people to watch, because they only belong to the deep mountains. If you come in summer, the greenery will be deeper. After the rain, the mountain springs are rushing, and the waterfalls are in an uproar, day and night. The autumn mountains are dyed with layers of forest, and the yellow, green, red, orange and purple are arbitrarily arranged. Those too extravagant colors make the painter confused and timid. In the presence of nature, all art is a poor imitation. The mountains behind the snow are silent and silent, which best reflects the emptiness of Buddhism. During the day, I would walk on the snow in the mountains to search for plums, boiled plum tea with snow water, and read books around the stove at night. I often read until the early morning without feeling sleepy.

There are so many peaks and peaks on the mountain, even the locals don’t dare to boast about climbing all the mountains in Haikou. I occasionally get involved with the locals. For example, they regularly send rice, noodles, oil and salt. realm. I’m not afraid of your jokes, I often get lost in the mountains, and a little wandering around in one place will make me feel special. I like to get lost, the only way to see different landscapes and things. In the face of natural miracles and great creativity, I am willing to be an ignorant teenager who returns to innocence and chaos.

Shao Hong on April 24, 2005

Shaohong’s signing time was one and a half months ago, and the transportation on the mountain was inconvenient, so it should be normal for the delayed delivery. Lu Sheng left the painting table, opened the window, and let the cool morning breeze blow over his body. How long has it been since he was so excited and hot? A few minutes later, he made a decision to visit Shaohong in Xidie Mountain tomorrow. He checked the train schedule, and there was an early bus to Qidieshan Station. He immediately booked a ticket for the journey of more than 4 hours. Speaking of which, it was a late visit, and he should have gone a few years ago. He and Shaohong hadn’t seen each other for 7 years, Lu Sheng thought, let the apologies of these 7 years be superimposed together, go up the mountain with him tomorrow, and then dissipate into the wind and mist of Wuthering Mountain.

On the question of what gift to bring to Shaohong, he took a little thought. Originally, I wanted to bring a few new picture albums that I released over the years. After thinking about it, I felt a little ashamed. Today’s Shaohong immortal has a dignified demeanor and is clean, and his picture album is a mundane thing in the world, and he can’t bring it with him. Finally, he put in a pound of West Lake Longjing, a good inkstone, and a box of writing brushes.

No matter how the ordinary train runs, it is still an old man at dusk. The train goes all the way to the south. After leaving his northern city, the scenery and buildings of the south gradually appear out of the window, but it is nothing more than that. Just like his life after middle age, he always thought that there would be surprises around the corner in the future, but when he got close, there was nothing, and it was flat after all. The journey of several hours was a little monotonous and long, and a book in his hand tried to avoid his sight. This was not a good time to read. So he put away the book, and this spare time was just a flashback to the early 1990s, when he and Shaohong began to meet.

At that time, Lu Sheng was a young painter at the Floating City Cultural Center. In the floating city, several veteran painters occupy one side, with equal strength, and each has a large number of fans. Under this situation, Lu Sheng, a lonely minority, takes dreams as horses, reads and paints, and does not stop every day. He kept an equal distance from the elders, was courteous and courteous on the face, and practiced all his kung fu in private. Lu Sheng knew very well that these veterans would maintain a member of the Provincial Artists Association when they were old, but he couldn’t do that.

He and Shaohong met at a dinner party. There were several officials, painters and calligraphers, and a few small town poets. A deputy director of the Cultural Affairs Bureau asked Shang Lu Sheng to go with him, and Shaohong sat with the deputy chief, apparently the host who paid for the guests, and served as the deputy chief of a large state-owned enterprise. The atmosphere of the dinner party was very warm, and the two poets quarreled over the issue of Misty Poetry, which was finally persuaded by everyone. At that dinner, because there were many people and the scene was messy, Lu Sheng seldom spoke and left little impression on Shaohong. Half a month later, Shaohong suddenly asked Lu Sheng for tea, and only asked him.

Shaohong, whose surname is Yuan, is 7 years older than Lusheng. During the conversation, Lu Sheng found that Shaohong spoke in a measured manner, read a wide range of books, had unique insights, and had a good taste. Of course, the most important thing was that he loved painting and calligraphy, and he discovered Lu Sheng’s hidden talent only by seeing him once. Shaohong went to visit Lu Sheng’s studio, pointed to a completed vertical four-foot landscape on the wall, and said, “I like this one so much. Sooner or later, your talent will shock everyone around you.”

Lu Sheng smiled shyly, “Mr. Yuan has won the prize. If you really like it, I will take it down and give it to you now.”

Shaohong said, “Don’t be bosses, bosses. In the future, brothers will be together. This is the only landscape painting that has moved my heart in recent years. I want to buy it to show my respect and respect for it.” Shaohong insisted on leaving an envelope containing 600 yuan of pen-enhancing fees, which was the largest pen-enhancing fee Lu Sheng had ever earned, equivalent to 4 months of his salary.

In the past few years, Shaohong has bought more than a dozen paintings by Lu Sheng on and off, and the prices are getting higher and higher. Lu Sheng was rather embarrassed, “Brother Shaohong, take it if he likes it. If he keeps buying my paintings, it makes me look tacky.”

Shaohong said with a smile, “You haven’t developed the habit of being a painter selling paintings. If Qi Baishi doesn’t sell his paintings, can he keep painting? Besides, I did buy it because I like it.”

Lu Sheng’s father passed away early. In those years, he was in financial embarrassment because he had to support his younger siblings. Lu Sheng was moved, but he also had concerns: Shaohong was the vice president of the company. Although the factory had a big business, it was public money after all.

Aware of Lu Sheng’s doubts, Shaohong said: “Brother, don’t worry, I bought your paintings from my own pocket, and I will never take a penny from the public.” The two referred to each other as confidants.

In just 5 years, Lu Sheng has become a new member of the Chinese Artists Association, and has had a strong response in the local and provincial Artists Association. Even if the elders of the floating city were unwilling to accept this fact, they had to re-evaluate Lu Sheng’s strength and skill. In the late autumn, Lu Sheng invited Shaohong to go with him to visit and sketch in Huangshan. Shaohong said, “I didn’t see anything wrong. You Lu Sheng are not in the pool. In 10 years and 20 years, if you still have the heart to invite my brother to travel together. It is my great honor to see mountains and rivers.”

Shaohong often said that Huangshan left his best memory and nostalgia that week. Unexpectedly, half a year after the trip to Huangshan, Shaohong was suddenly involved in a case that caused a national sensation. The reason was that someone inside the company reported the general manager for corruption, and the Disciplinary Committee and the prosecutors intervened in the investigation. After investigation, the amount of corruption was huge. Under pressure, the general manager committed suicide. This incident alarmed the high-level officials and asked the prosecution to continue their investigation. It happened to Shaohong’s younger brother. Shaohong’s private factory was specifically managed by his younger brother Shaoyuan. Before committing suicide, the general manager confessed to a list of people who bribed him, including Shaoyuan. Shaoyuan couldn’t stand the trial rounds and confessed some violations of discipline that Shaohong didn’t know about. Because Shaohong is a corporate legal person, he could not tolerate his defense. He was sentenced to 4 years in prison, and his brother Shaoyuan was sentenced to 7 years.

The younger brother violated the law, and it was his own fault. Shaohong refused to accept the verdict because he did not know about it and was originally innocent. He sought a lawyer to appeal, and the original sentence was upheld. He has appealed every year since then, losing every year. Lu Sheng visits Shaohong twice a year in prison, bringing him books and cigarettes. Shaohong’s hair was almost completely white, and his back was hunched, but his eyes remained stubborn. He said to Lu Sheng coldly: “The present is not what it used to be. Associating with people like me will destroy your social image. In the future, don’t come again.”

Unexpectedly, Lu Sheng’s tone was stronger, “If you have the slightest concern, you are not a true friend. Since you always believe in yourself, why should I not believe in your own judgment?” Shaohong turned around and shed the tears that were about to flow out Eyes back.

Lu Sheng advised Shaohong to give up the appeal. Shaohong was stunned for a while, then said quietly, “Even you said that, okay.”

After he was released from prison, Shaohong wanted to find a job. For a period of time, he ran into walls everywhere, and his old acquaintances avoided him, and no company was willing to accept him. Lu Sheng asked, “If you don’t go out to work, will there be any problems in your basic life?”

Shaohong said: “I was looking for a job just because I was worried that I would be bored at home. I didn’t have any extravagant expectations for anything else. There was no problem with eating. My hometown was demolished and two commercial houses were replaced. My son is married, and I don’t need me to subsidize him.”

Lu Sheng said: “That’s good, since you don’t have to worry about eating, you can paint with me.”

Shaohong originally had a foundation and a high artistic understanding. Under the guidance of Lu Sheng, he grew rapidly, and spent all his time except eating and sleeping on painting. His obsession with self-forgetfulness made Lu Sheng amazed and admired. Three years later, Shaohong’s paintings are already very good.

Lu Sheng had been elected as the chairman of the Regional Artists Association at this time. He was going to hold a solo exhibition in August. He invited Shaohong to select some satisfactory works to exhibit with him. After being stunned for a while, Shaohong said slowly, “Brother is too proud of your brother.” After speaking, he locked himself in the room and didn’t come out for a long time.

Lu Sheng’s intentions were obvious, he just wanted to cheer up Shaohong and regain his confidence, how could Shaohong not know his intentions. The art exhibition was very successful. Several art dealers collected Lu Sheng’s paintings, and two paintings by Shaohong were also ordered. Shaohong’s paintings also attracted the attention of the chairman of the Provincial Artists Association, and encouraged him to participate in the provincial exhibition at the end of the year and develop into a member of the Provincial Artists Association.

Lu Sheng was full of joy and designed a route for Shaohong’s next development. In the third month after the exhibition, he never imagined that Shaohong left a letter and disappeared. The letter said: “After careful consideration, I decided to give up my fame and go into seclusion. I inspected a place, and the Xidie Mountain, which is 400 kilometers away, is more in line with my idea. Qing Geng Yu read, and since then disappeared in the mountains, waters, springs and forests.”

Lu Sheng was shocked and couldn’t believe this fact for many days. Shaohong gave birth to a seclusion heart, why did he not notice it at all? He regretted that he had deliberately reshaped Shaohong’s fame. The familiar phone number was called again and again, but no one answered. An hour later, a text message popped up on the phone: “Lu Sheng, I have made up my mind, and I don’t need to hold back. There is no signal in the mountains. After a while, I won’t even need my phone. ”

Lu Sheng asked anxiously, “How can I find you?”

“If you want to come, naturally you can find it.”

“Shaohong, if I hadn’t led you into painting, I wouldn’t have done it. It’s my fault that I provoked your fame and made you deeply conflicted and miserable.”

“You’ve done so much for me, and I’m actually very satisfied. Lu Sheng, I want to live another life, a life I’ve never experienced before.”

Lu Sheng knew that he had made up his mind and that he was going to leave, and he had no choice but to feel lost and stunned for a long time.

As the director of the regional cultural bureau, Lu Sheng’s life and work have been very busy. He is not enthusiastic or good at administrative work. He is busy dealing with a lot of affairs during the day, and is physically and mentally exhausted. At night, he spreads out the rice paper, and the sleepiness can’t be stopped. desolate. He made the resignation report several times, but was stopped by Lu Wei. At the time of anxiety, it coincided with the re-election of the Provincial Artists Association, and he was successfully elected as the vice chairman of the Provincial Artists Association, and then settled in the provincial capital.

During the first two years of Shaohong’s seclusion in the mountains, Lu Sheng occasionally received a letter, sometimes a self-composed poem that could quite confirm his current state of mind, and sometimes a text describing the mountain scenery. The general remarks at the end of the letter do not require a reply. Indeed, the sender of Shaohong’s letter never had a specific address, and even if Lu Sheng wanted to reply, he would not be able to send it. He tried to understand the situation from Shaohong’s wife, but the other party’s vague response was unclear. About the third year, Lu Sheng never received a letter from Shaohong. On some quiet rainy and snowy nights, especially when he was in a lonely mood, he missed his old friend very much. At this time, Shaohong must have cultivated in the mountains to have a youthful appearance and a fairy spirit, and he has no psychological understanding of the world, including his friend. . But even so, Lu Sheng didn’t make up his mind to go to Xidishan to visit Shaohong. He didn’t even know where Xidishan was.

Until this morning, the letter swayed in Lu Sheng’s heart again, and he knew it was time for him to act.

4

The verdant mountains swayed and swayed, rushing into his eyes and arms, and he knew where he was. Xidie Mountain is a very small station, shrunk at the foot of the mountain, as if abandoned. Lu Sheng suddenly looked around, there were so many carriages, and in the end he was the only passenger who got off the train. The train quickly continued westward and disappeared into the tunnel in a short while, and he suddenly felt that he had also been abandoned in a strange place.

Walking eastward along the platform for a while, only a few people appeared. Lu Sheng asked a short middle-aged man if there were people living in seclusion on the nearby mountains? The man asked him three times in a row, “What did you say?” He finally understood, looked at Lu Sheng suspiciously, pointed his finger to the east, and said, “There is a path to go up the mountain, there is a temple on the mountain, inside the temple There’s an old monk. I wonder if he’s the one you’re looking for.”

Lu Sheng found the path up the mountain. From here, Xidi Mountain is not much different from other mountains. Since he can’t see the whole picture of the mountain, he can’t appreciate the strange beauty of the mountain. However, he wasn’t in a hurry at all. What he had to do now was to go up the mountain and give Shaohong a surprise. The path is extremely narrow, and the stone steps are severely damaged, which shows that the construction period is not short. There are dense forests and bamboos on the mountain, and green is everywhere. For a while, the steps became very steep. He came out of a sweat and sat on the steps to rest for a few minutes. The cool air in the mountains exhaled a fresh fragrance. Thinking of the paragraphs and sentences described in Shaohong’s letter, Lu Sheng was about to see his old friend. smile.

All the way up the twists and turns, but did not even see a stone house. Halfway up the mountain, a vermilion temple building finally appeared. Lu Sheng was overjoyed, and his fatigue and hunger disappeared. The temple is small and old, offering several Buddha statues. There is some change in the glass merit box, and the case is full of gray and white incense ashes. There are quilts on the bed in the east wing, pots and pans in the kitchen in the west wing, the water in the kettle is still warm, and the house is shabby. It seems that there are people in the temple who do not know where to go. Lu Sheng took out a water glass and a bag of bread from the suitcase. After a gust of wind and clouds, he walked to the temple gate and looked around, and then he could see clearly. The open space in front of the temple was simply surrounded by a red brick wall, which only reached the waist of an adult. The east, west, south, and three sides are all mountains. The peaks and peaks are connected, and the ridges are scattered. The green color towers into the sky. The setting sun at 4 o’clock in the afternoon shone on the open space beside him, and the sense of unreality became stronger. He concluded that the person in the temple would not be Shaohong. With so many hills, which one will Shaohong be on? The letter did not say this. He turned back and looked inside and out of the box twice, but couldn’t find Shaohong’s letter. He clearly remembered to put the letter in one of the inner layers of the box. Could it be that he remembered it wrong, and the letter was still lying in the desk drawer?

At about 6 o’clock in the evening, there was a sound of footsteps outside. Lu Sheng greeted him and looked at the person. He looked like he was in his fifties or sixties. He was wearing an old gray monk’s robe, with a strong body and a bag of vegetables and grain in each hand. The visitor was startled by the sudden appearance of Lu Sheng, and Lu Sheng quickly explained his intention to go up the mountain. The monk spoke the local dialect, and Lu Sheng struggled to hear it, but he also understood some things intermittently. The mountains here are continuous, and there are hundreds of peaks, big and small, each with its own characteristics, but the Xidie Mountain is the most well-known, hence the name.

The monk scooped water from a jar to wash rice and cook porridge. Lu Sheng helped wash the vegetables. He said, “I want to go to other mountains to find friends.”

The monk raised his head with compassion on his face, “It’s too difficult, I think it’s too difficult, not to mention your appearance. It will take you two or three months to find all the mountains. Many mountains have no roads at all. Use both. People want to eat, and your friends can’t be on a mountain like that.”

Lu Sheng asked again: “Master has been in the temple for many years, and he has never heard of a hermit in the nearby mountains?”

The monk thought thoughtfully, “When you ask me that, I remember that a few years ago, I heard that there was such a person. I don’t know which mountain he is on, or whether he is still there now.”

Lu Sheng was speechless, and the melancholy that filled his heart was mixed with the twilight in the mountains, and there was no gap, which quickly drowned him.

In the evening, Lu Sheng lay down early. Exhausted, he fell asleep quickly. Not knowing what time it was at night, he was awakened by a loud noise. Listening carefully, it turned out to be the sound of the wind, like a hungry animal howling, and like a mountain god roaring furiously, approaching from the crack of the door through the broken eaves, beating his eardrums, Lu Sheng had to retract his head into the musty quilt. He thought, Shaohong is in the stone house, how many such rumors he has to hear in a year, how can he endure it?

When he opened his eyes again, it was already 6 in the morning, the blue sky was pure and the sun was warm, which made him suspect that the sound of the wind last night was only from a nightmare. In the kitchen, the monks were cooking millet porridge and pan-frying oil cakes, and the aroma burst into his nose.

Lu Sheng asked, “I still want to try my luck on the nearby mountain. How long will it take if I climb to the opposite mountain and then go back to the temple?”

The monk looked at Lu Sheng and replied, “The opposite is the Wild Boar Ridge. One day and one night is not enough. If you don’t get back to the temple, your feet will be worn out long ago. The most terrible thing is not the worn feet, but the wild boars.”

Lu Sheng felt a cold wind in his heart, frowned, and said to himself, “Did I make a special trip to visit and still can’t see Shaohong?”

The monk’s tone was casual, “There are more than 100 mountains in this area, and the virgin forest is overwhelming. If your friend really wants to invite you, why can’t he tell which mountain he is on?”

The monk woke up Lu Sheng with a simple sentence. He remembered that there was indeed no Xidie Mountain in Shaohong’s letter to him. Yes, if Shaohong wanted to invite himself up the mountain, why didn’t he tell the exact location? After pondering the words in the letter again, he pondered some other meanings. Maybe the letter should not be regarded as an invitation. It was just Shaohong’s need to express his feelings, just like the last trip to Xidie Mountain was only for Lu Sheng. Psychological needs, and seeing or not seeing the person being sought is second. Thinking of this, Lu Sheng’s heart suddenly became clear, and the entanglement was dissipated. He left the tea leaves to the monks and went down the mountain to return.

Lu Sheng didn’t tell Lu Wei or anyone about the experience of going to Xidi Mountain. In recent years, Lu Wei’s health was not good, and he felt better not to talk about many things.

About a month after this incident, on a rainy night, the wind was so loud that the doors and windows became unstable. A mountain appeared again in Lu Sheng’s dream, which was different from the Xidie Mountain he had been to, and it was definitely not the same mountain. At dawn, the waning moon is still hanging in the sky, the world is still dominated by darkness and ghosts, a tall silhouette of a person appears on the cliff, to be precise, just a back. He didn’t know where this figure came from, is that Shaohong? He hoped so, but couldn’t be sure. Several long whistles echoed from the cliff to the valley, and the figure spread out his arms, like spreading his wings, like a samurai. The figure of the samurai slowly changed. A giant black bird came to the top of the cliff with a majestic and tense aura. The screen paused for dozens of seconds, and the black bird flapped its wings one after another. All the wings were opened, and they flew upward for a while, covering the moon for a while, and then swooped down to the abyss below the cliff. The dream ended with Lu Sheng holding his breath and almost suffocating. When he woke up, he found himself clenched with two fists and his body tightened, in a state of panic.

In a month, similar dreams have occurred twice. Since then, this dream has often come to his dark nights, and the situation is sometimes the same, sometimes changed, but the black-winged giant bird as the protagonist is not missing. Therefore, Lu Sheng studied Jung’s “Red Book” for several years, repeatedly dismantling his own dreams.

A few months later, Lu Sheng returned to the floating city to visit his mother. After leaving home, he went to the community of Shaohong’s family based on his impressions. The floating city was changing too fast, becoming more and more unfamiliar, and he was not sure whether he could find Shaohong’s house. Finally found the community, he said the name of Shaohong’s wife, but luckily there was a resident registration. When he knocked on the door, a fat middle-aged woman stuck her head out and asked him who he was looking for. He said it was Shaohong’s friend Lu Sheng, who came to visit his sister-in-law this time.

The name Lu Sheng is not unfamiliar. Shaohong’s wife poured him a cup of green tea, and the first sentence he said was, “I haven’t seen Yuan Shaohong in seven years.”

Lu Sheng asked, “Have my sister-in-law received a letter from him recently? Do you know more about his situation on the mountain?”

Shaohong’s wife shook her head, her eyes dazed with sluggishness, “I know very little. As long as he is happy, I respect any decision he makes. In fact, I know in my heart that he never came out of that incident. Son I have contact with him, saying that his father is good in the mountains, so I don’t have to worry. In the late autumn of last year, my son could not contact him, so he drove his cousin to the mountain. His stone house was empty, the mattress was neat, and there was a picture on the table. I didn’t even see it. The dust had accumulated very thickly, and it seemed that the house had been empty for a long time. My son comforted me and said that my father was often not seen in the mountains before. Who knows which mountain he is wandering on. I will ask later. , my son always hesitates. I asked my nephew, what else did you and your brother know when we went up the mountain? The nephew said that we didn’t know anything, and we couldn’t find my uncle. Later, my brother went to look for it alone, but he still didn’t see him. Now, maybe he’s wandering somewhere else. The brothers say the same thing, but I’m not at ease, not at all.”

Lu Sheng said with a slightly reproachful tone, “Why didn’t you tell me this?”

Shaohong’s wife gave a wry smile, “My son has been looking for a lot of times on the mountain. We don’t know what happened to him, and we don’t want outsiders to know about it. Are our family laughing less often?”

Lu Sheng was speechless, paused for a while, and asked, “What is the name of the mountain where Shaohong lives in seclusion?”

“How can there be a name? The son said that his father named him Jun Xianshan. Later he called it that.”

Lu Sheng thought to himself, Shaohong is living his life as a fairy. He left the mobile phone number to Shaohong’s wife and asked her to transfer it to his son. No matter what happened to Shaohong, he should contact him in time.

Over the years, Lu Sheng never received a call from Shaohong’s son. When he returned to the floating city one year, he heard that Shaohong’s wife had just died of illness not long ago.

5

Before graduating from his undergraduate degree, Lin Jianmin organized a small-scale sketch at Xidie Mountain. Most of the participants were his classmates, as well as a few juniors, who rented a minibus. With the discovery of Diexiu Caves, several caves with murals have been excavated nearby, which are now open to the public. The county has also applied for the high-speed rail construction plan of the Provincial Department of Communications, which has been approved and is expected to open to traffic in a few years. Lin Jianmin invited Professor Lu Sheng again, “The county has built a special road up the mountain, and the outside of Diexiu Grottoes has been protected by high iron railings, which is very safe.” Unexpectedly, the teacher declined, citing that his wife was not in good health recently. Inconvenient to go out. Lin Jianmin shook his head and said “sorry”, his expression was almost the same as the one two years ago.

In the same year, Lin Jianmin was recommended to be a postgraduate student in the Chinese Painting Department of the Academy of Arts, and his tutor was Lu Sheng. When choosing a school, Lu Sheng suggested that he choose a foreign school, but Lin Jianmin insisted on choosing his own school, and his tutor chose Lu Sheng. He felt that he had only learned a little in the undergraduate course, and wanted to study systematically with the teacher for a few more years.

In Lin Jianmin’s eyes, his wife is demure and dignified, and she and her teacher can be regarded as models of intellectuals. He often saw his wife borrowing books in the library, and even the teacher said that his wife’s small capital letters were excellent, and she was ashamed. Every time the students go to Lu Sheng’s house to observe the teacher’s painting, the teacher always brings tea and fruit and leaves quietly, making the students hardly aware of her existence. Such a woman, if Lu Sheng personally told him that his wife was suffering from depression, he would not believe it if he was beaten to death.

That afternoon, snowflakes fell without warning in the cloudy sky for a long time. It took a long time for Lu Sheng’s eyes to return to the studio from the window, and then he asked Lin Jianmin, “If the world forces you to put down your brush and stay away from painting, what would you do?”

Lin Jianmin replied without thinking, “Fight to the death.”

Lu Sheng nodded, “But maybe that so-called world is just you.”

Before he had time to understand, Lu Sheng said again: “Maybe you won’t believe that your wife’s depression is directly related to my painting.”

Lin Jianmin put down the teacup he had just picked up and widened his eyes.

“When I was first transferred to the provincial capital, I lived in the dormitory of the unit. Lu Wei’s job could not be transferred, so I stayed in the floating city. The only daughter was studying in the capital, and the family of three lived in three places. During this period, my home in the floating city was stolen. Three times, and the thief’s target turned out to be painting and calligraphy. I joked as an art thief, but for Lu Wei, there was no joke but disaster. The first and second thefts happened during the day when no one was at home. , a small amount of cash and a number of paintings were stolen. Among them, two paintings by painters from the Republic of China were more famous, and there were also many works of mine. At that time, my paintings were sold at a high price in the market. The third time was at night, when Lu Wei Because of the previous theft experience, her mood was damaged and her insomnia was severe. She heard noises in other rooms in a daze, she jumped up from the bed, rushed straight to the living room, and asked loudly: ‘Who came to my house to steal again?’ A man in black was startled when he heard the sound, and threw a bag in his arms to the ground. Several scrolls of paintings fell out, and the man ran away. Lu Wei, who was brave and fearless just now, collapsed instantly Every time she thinks of this scene, she is afraid. What if the person was holding a knife or an axe? What if the person was not frightened by herself? She was the only one being forced by fear? The anti-theft device and monitoring system have been installed. Although there has never been a theft, Lu Wei’s neurasthenia has become increasingly serious, so severe that auditory hallucinations are commonplace and nightmares continue. In her dreams, the door of my house was pried open again and again, and The sound of the thief’s footsteps hibernated in her mind and could not be driven away.

“I quickly bought a house in the provincial capital, took Lu Wei’s medical leave, and received it from the provincial capital. I was relieved to see her spirit gradually improving. In those years, my painting skills have grown and I have frequently participated in high-level national competitions. Art exhibitions and lectures have been privately commented by some people in the industry as the most powerful middle-aged painter in the province and the most suitable candidate for the next chairman of the Provincial Artists Association. Actually, I have heard such comments for a long time. When I was elected as the vice chairman, someone asserted this , but I don’t care, I still read and draw every day, walk with Lu Wei, go to the supermarket to buy food, and my heart is calm.”

Lin Jianmin picked up the teacup, drank it all, and said with a smile, “Mother is still very lucky.”

Lu Sheng’s gaze only glanced at his face, and continued: “The truth is that I overestimated my own strength and underestimated the energy of others. It’s just one month before the election of the Provincial Artists Association. When I was 19 years old, I was unknowingly involved in a reputational crisis. The target of the incident was me, and in the end I saved my life, and the side effects directly caused Lu Wei to suffer from depression.

“The clue started with an article. Someone published an article in a professional art magazine, questioning the artistic level of a vice-chairman of the Provincial Artists Association and pointing the finger at me. The author is obviously a pseudonym. The author claims to have done a lot of Lu Sheng’s landscape paintings. Analysis, the conclusion of the analysis is that Lu Sheng’s painting style is always more ancient, lacks the pioneering spirit of modern literati painting, and brings landscape painting into a dead end. The article is so sharp that it refutes my painting to no avail. I know that this matter is still Through the disciple. Putting down the magazine, I asked the disciple: ‘Why do you think this person wrote this article?’ The disciple took a picture of the magazine angrily and said, ‘Everyone knows Sima Zhao’s mind, and it is not obvious that he will smash Teacher Lu. Go down, let you withdraw from the candidacy of the Artists Association, and then benefit from it?” I was shocked, but I said lightly: “It’s fine, as art criticism is allowed, I know it in my heart.” The peace of the school was broken by an accident. After the students left, I fell into deep thought. It seems that this matter is not so simple. I have seen a lot of criticism in this circle. Now it seems that I am naive. The article is clear, I ignore academic prejudice, and I can ignore the accusations, but what is scary is the hostility implicit in it, which is beyond normal academic discussion. I feel that I am in the association I have never made an enemy, so who made me an enemy? I have a hunch that this is just the beginning.

“As expected, the role of the article continued to ferment after a while. In some public occasions, someone mentioned the article to me intentionally or unintentionally, asking me how I thought about the views in the article. At the same time, there were also some pertinence on the Internet. A very strong post, saying that a certain painter’s works are blindly imitating the ancients and not keeping pace with the times. If such a painter becomes the chairman of the Artists Association, he is afraid that all painters in a province will be biased. There are even posts that take me like Longjing Tea and red wine talk about things, saying that my life is all about pomp, and I don’t drink non-West Lake Longjing and French wines on weekdays. I can bear the academic prejudice, but when I saw the latter one, I was really angry, and I just finished painting. A painting was torn into several pieces. This was obviously going to put me in the gutter. Some disciples who followed me saw that their teacher was repeatedly slandered, and they were determined to fight back against each other. Although I was in a fidgety mood, I quickly stopped the rumors.’ Yu wise people, don’t act rashly, or you will fall into other people’s schemes. Instead, they will seize my handle, and then I will be speechless.’ After speaking, a mirror shook in my heart, and a cold light flashed, and I was already Understand almost.

“I talked to the old chairman and told me about a series of ghosts and ghosts recently. I bluntly said that I didn’t know which expert in the province I had offended. I asked the chairman to give instructions on what to do. Finally, I directly showed my attitude: I never wanted to be the chairman. I knew who was firing the knife, but I didn’t mention that person. The old chairman obviously heard the wind, he pondered for a while, and said: ‘This kind of slander is going to die. I will never allow this kind of thing to happen again within the American Association before I step down. You don’t need to do anything, I have my own opinion.’ When I walked to the door, the chairman said to me again, ‘No intention The chairman may not be able to become the chairman.’ I left without saying a word.

“Actually, the reason is very simple. In the eyes of some people, my calmness is another manifestation of being hidden and ready to go. Some people are called Xu Jing, who is 3 years older than me and is at the same time as me. Elected Vice Chairman of the Provincial Artists Association. Besides me, Xu Jing is the other most powerful contender for the new chairman. I have no deep friendship with Xu due to personality reasons, but I have no prejudice against this person, and even think that Xu’s paintings Still pretty good.

“Seeing Xu Jing again, I clearly saw a few traces of embarrassment and unwillingness on his face. I pretended not to know, and everything was business as usual. After a few months, maybe seeing that I didn’t suffer too badly, people began to ask me one after another. According to the information, it turns out that more than one person is having the dream of the chairman, which means that my ‘enemy’ is far more than Xu Jing, but I am deeply confused about when I become someone else’s enemy. Feeling restless in my heart, and looking like water on the surface, Lu Wei said to me several times: ‘Let’s go back to the floating city.’ She obviously already knew a lot. I reassured: ‘The floating city is not a pure land on earth, a fairy tale kingdom. Give me some time. It’s okay.’ I took Lu Wei to see a doctor in Beijing and Shanghai, but I didn’t get much. Later, I found a well-known psychologist in the province for treatment. At first, it was effective. I was full of confidence for a while. After half a year, the psychologist She expressed her helplessness and wondered how the follow-up treatment would work. This result was directly caused by my profession as a painter. I fell into a quagmire of pain and felt even more guilty towards Lu Wei.

“Before the new term of the Artists Association, the chairman asked me for a special talk. He wanted to recommend me as the chairman of the new Provincial Artists Association, and let me hurry up and prepare for the relevant preparatory work. I said: ‘Chairman, please allow me to think about it? I will give it to you tomorrow. Reply.’

“In the chairman’s office, I proposed to resign as a candidate for the chairman of the Provincial Artists Association and apply to become a teacher in the Department of Fine Arts of the Provincial Academy of Arts. The old chairman was deeply shocked when he heard my decision. He couldn’t believe it and tried to persuade him to stay. He had to quit.

“I became a professor in the art academy like this. I teach and educate people, read and draw on weekdays, and take Lu Wei to sketch during the holidays. Lu Wei’s depression has eased a lot. My life is moving forward in simple repetitions, and I am about to leave. To the brink of retirement. You’ll be my last graduate student.”

It was the first time that Lin Jianmin heard the teacher talk about a private topic. He remembered the questions he had when he first met Lu Sheng, and asked, “You retreated bravely under the fame, and voluntarily gave up the fame and fortune that others coveted. I want to know, have you regretted it?”

Lu Sheng shook his head gently, “I have no regrets. I gave up the chairmanship to teach at the academy, not entirely because of your wife.”

Lin Jianmin was a little surprised, “Then what’s the reason?”

“It was also in the year when the Artists Association fell into a reputational crisis that I really understood a friend of mine, and understood his innocence and injustice, abandoning the world and going into seclusion. Before that, I just felt sorry for him, but I never Didn’t hear the call from the depths of his heart. One year, I heard him call me.”

“What kind of a friend is that?” Lin Jianmin’s curiosity was aroused.

Lu Sheng didn’t answer him, his face still had the posture of his body, showing deep tiredness. For the first time, Lin Jianmin discovered that the teacher also has a weak side.

“Let’s talk about it today. I have finished reading Shi Tao’s “Quotations of Paintings” this month. The notes must be detailed. The key is to deepen my understanding and make better use of it in my creation. If there is any doubt, we will discuss it next time. “Putting down the teacup, Lu Sheng looked out the window and fell silent.

Lin Jianmin also followed and looked out, the snowflakes were getting denser and denser, and a shaky white net had been pulled open, confusing the difference between heaven and earth, which made him feel that their conversation all afternoon was actually carried out on the net , and the teacher’s past is also entangled in the Internet.

Lin Jianmin left, leaving Lu Sheng in a person’s snow net and inner sitcom. Lu Sheng made another pot of Fujian rock tea and drank it slowly for a long time. He was a little surprised, why did he say so much to the students today, especially when he talked about Shaohong just now, is it because Lin Jianmin is a bit like himself when he was young? The older you get, the stronger the memory of old friends becomes. In fact, he has always had doubts about Shaohong’s missing letter, and doubts about Shaohong’s final ending. He also suspected that the letter was hidden or burned by Lu Wei, because she was afraid that one day she would follow Shaohong’s footsteps. , Going to live in seclusion on the mountain is more painful than killing her. But every time she mentioned that letter, Lu Wei always had a blank expression on her face.

At night, Lu Sheng boarded the platform on his top floor, but he didn’t come up often on weekdays. When he bought this house, he was interested in the duplex structure. On the upper floor, except for a room for his daughter (the daughter was studying abroad and did not come home for three years), the rest were used as a studio study by him. There is a platform above the studio. When Lu Wei is in a good mood, he proposes to turn it into a sky garden. Lu Sheng did not agree. It is not that he does not like gardens, but he is actually worried about Lu Wei’s depression.

On the night he told the old chairman his decision many years ago, the wind was so strong that his cotton and linen shirt swelled up. Lu Sheng walked to the edge of the platform, raised his arms, spread his wings like a human-shaped black bird in a dream, and felt the force and tear of the wind. On Lu Sheng’s face, there was a mixture of solemnity and sadness, as if the platform he was on was a cliff, and under the platform was the abyss. The shot of the black bird soaring and swooping over the cliff, he saw it repeatedly in his dreams, and it was even frozen. Lu Sheng thought, if someone saw this picture in the low place behind him, would he also regard him as a black bird flying in the wind? Is this the reason why he didn’t want to go to Xidi Mountain and couldn’t tell Lin Jianmin?

In a trance, Lu Wei’s voice came calling him. Lu Sheng quickly left the platform, keeping both Gao Feng and Xuan Xiang outside. Lu Wei walked in front of him, pulled his sleeve and said loudly, “Lu Sheng, I’d like to say something nice to you. My daughter just called. When the doctor’s graduation ceremony is over next week, she will return to China immediately.” Showing a soft smile, which is also the smile he used to show to students.

6

During the summer vacation of the second grade, Lin Jianmin organized another sketch to Xidi Mountain. At this time, Xidi Mountain had already become famous, and there were many visitors. If you want to sketch, you have to make an appointment in advance. But Professor Lu Sheng declined him again and took his wife to Xiamen.

What surprised him the most was that, just a few months later, on the teacher’s computer, Lin Jianmin actually saw many murals in Diexiu Cave. The doubts in his heart were deeper, and his intuition told him that behind the teacher’s repeated rejection of him, there must be some connection with Xidi Mountain. Could it be that the person who copied the murals in the cave was Professor Lu Sheng? What is the teacher trying to hide? That is to say, from this moment onwards, some psychological changes occurred in him, although it was still very weak at first, like a small flying insect falling on his arm, like a wind that could not move the ends of his hair, so weak that it even touched him. Hard to notice.

Professor Lu Sheng’s retirement coincided with Lin Jianmin’s Ph.D. degree from a prestigious university in Beijing. He was full of ambition, high spirits, flowers, praises and celebrations about his new studies and a bright future. He dressed up his life very beautifully and beautifully for a period of time.

During the National Day holiday that year, Lin Jianmin went back to his alma mater and planned a pen meeting for teachers and students. Lu Sheng was emotional, drank half a bottle of red wine, and finally toasted two glasses of wine to the students, “To teach at the Art Institute is the most correct and free decision I have made in my life, although I am not a free and easy person.” After saying this, the professor’s voice choked, and the eyes of the wife sitting next to her were wet. Needless to say, Lu Sheng drank too much that night.

Since Lu Sheng was invited to hold a solo exhibition in Yunnan last year, the couple fell in love with Yunnan at first sight and decided to settle in Kunming after retirement. This teacher-student pen meeting is actually a reward and farewell party.

Although Lu Sheng was emotionally moved on the court, he almost shed tears, but in Lin Jianmin’s opinion, he was more than rational and cautious, not brave enough, and even had an inexplicable restraint. He thought, if it were him back then, he would never have rejected the presidential candidate. It was the result of his years of hard work. Why should he give up so easily? To know how many people dream of the position ah. According to his previous imagination, Professor Lu Sheng’s heart should be very strong, strong enough to not be afraid of any situation, any right or wrong, and he accidentally saw the teacher’s most vulnerable side. Compared to telling him about that snowy afternoon, Lin Jianmin felt more and more that Professor Lu Sheng’s choice was incomprehensible.

On the third day of the PEN meeting, before Lu Sheng and his wife left for Yunnan, Lin Jianmin went to the teacher’s house to visit and say goodbye. Something popped up out of time, about Diexiu Cave. After thinking about it, he finally suppressed the question that rushed to his mouth. With a bit of confusion and regret, he left his alma mater and the professor. From then on, the teachers and students never met again until Lu Sheng died a few years later.

During his Ph.D. study, Lin Jianmin widely became famous teachers, and under the face-to-face teaching of Erti, he consciously enlarged his academic vision several times, and when he started to fall in love, his study and life were more busy and richer than that of university and graduate students combined. Compared with the capital, he felt that Lu Sheng’s painting concept and life concept were a bit outdated and monotonous.

His contact with Lu Sheng gradually dwindled, perhaps unintentionally or intentionally. He didn’t want to think deeply about it, saying that it was true that he was busy. On the contrary, Lu Sheng often took the initiative to ask about his academic situation. Lin Jianmin occasionally felt a little guilt in his heart, but the guilt also flashed by.

7

After graduating with a doctorate, Lin Jianmin gave up the capital in order to stay with his girlfriend and went to teach in the art department of a university in Northeast China. Two years later, the short-lived marriage ended. Because he had no children and not much wealth, it saved him a lot of trouble. It’s just that the past love was beautiful, and it turned into a bubble in an instant, and it burst when it flew, leaving a little scar on the outside of his heart. Over time, the spots turned into rust, so that everything he could see was rusted.

At only 33 years old, Lin Jianmin’s landscapes are stained with too many vicissitudes of life, and he has applied to participate in national exhibitions several times, but he has never entered the exhibition once, and even being selected for a solo provincial exhibition is difficult for him. Frustration and blow alternated, like a left fist and a right fist suddenly thrown at him. Now he understands that academia and creation are two completely different paths. Looking at himself, his opinions are lacking in academics, and his views are all from other people and ancients. At most, he changed his rhetoric, and his original ideal was To be a good painter. The more impatient the person, the worse the state, as if everything in reality ran out to bet with him, just want to watch him lose everything. In the art department, his interpersonal relationships were not smooth and harmonious. As a southerner, he has never been able to adapt to the extreme cold weather in this place for half a year. When looking in the mirror one day, he was surprised to find that his hairline had moved significantly backwards. The once-flying life was lowered, and finally lowered to a position equal to dust, which made him sigh: vicissitudes and setbacks are equal to people regardless of age.

Once the meaning is born, it will be surging, and the strands will be endless, just like the cold foot injury that he suffered in the first winter in the Northeast. Even if the winter is over, the injury will not go away. itch.

He was hesitating about where to go, when he saw that his alma mater was hiring art teachers across the country, Lin Jianmin was overjoyed and quickly applied. His alma mater generously threw an olive branch to him. In his eyes, it was clearly a boat made of olive branches, the boat that came to save him.

Returning to the Department of Chinese Painting, back to his starting point, Lin Jianmin’s heart swayed and his thoughts flew. Even more amazing and unbelievable, his office turned out to be the one where Professor Lu Sheng used to sit, and the scene where he went to the office to ask for advice from the teacher made him feel like returning from a dream. Time moved forward in a wondrous order he had never noticed before. They did not disappear, but were transformed into flying wisps of dark matter that would eventually meet at some point in time and space.

Lin Jianmin told his teacher what he felt, and Lu Sheng said: “I am very happy that you can come back. In fact, I thought of this possibility a few months ago. Your wife’s depression has been cured, and a golden period of creation is actually in my hands. After retirement, it really appeared, because at this time, the utilitarian heart was completely abandoned, and I attributed this to a high-level game heart.” After speaking, Lu Sheng laughed to himself, and then said in a mysterious tone, “Time not only has a trajectory , and smell and weight, even more amazing, it can also be folded. Come to Yunnan when you have time, I want to talk to you about time, maybe we can draw it. ”

After retiring, Lu Sheng lost the strictness and subtlety of being a teacher, and became more and more naive as a profound person. Lin Jianmin once again had a longing in his heart. The boy returned to his body back then, he thought, this is the true temperament an artist should have.

Later, whenever someone said that he was more and more like Professor Lu Sheng, Lin Jianmin always smiled and shook his head, “No, that’s because you don’t know the professor too well, if you take a class with him, you will never again. Can’t forget.”

One Saturday morning, Lin Jianmin went to the college library to search for materials. Standing in front of a row of humanities and arts bookcases, a familiar name jumped into his eyes. He has read many calligraphy and painting collections published by Professor Lu Sheng, but this one is not a picture book, but an art essay collection “Wandering”, which surprised Lin Jianmin. The publication date on the copyright page is May 2019, which means that Professor Lu Sheng passed away one year after the book was published.

Three months before his death, Lu Sheng had a long phone call with him and was very excited to talk about the series of paintings he was creating, “This group of paintings has a strong philosophical transcendence, and I have been preparing for this for two years. Reading and thinking, drawing drafts. Although I do not admit that they have overturned the traditional view of painting, I do consciously revise and improve my concept of painting expression. Compared with ancient painters, contemporary painters face a more realistic situation. It is complex and changeable, so the painting environment also needs to convey more subtle meanings. You know, this subtle meaning is far less easy to express with a brush than with language and music, so until now, I still keep writing and listening to classical music. The habit of music. Paintings should not only be used to express natural features and life scenes, but also symbols, metaphors, and allegories. It is three-dimensional and multi-dimensional, and it is a unity of reality, heart and spirit. This is how painting is used in contemporary times. The reason why it’s getting harder. It’s hard for any painter, and it’s not an exception for me. I decided to spend the rest of my life trying to find out.”

It was the first time that Lin Jianmin heard Lu Sheng talk about the profound and subtle way of creation, and this was the mysterious way that puzzled him the most for many years. After that, he discussed arguments with the teacher on WeChat many times, and planned to visit the teacher in Kunming. One early morning, he was not sleepy, but Lu Sheng didn’t sleep. After chatting for a while, Lu Sheng said to him, “The ultimate satisfaction of creation is enough to make people die without regrets.” It was simply engraved on Lin Jianmin’s heart. Thinking of the wasted time in these years, and thinking that he had accomplished nothing in the creation of Chinese painting, he just wanted to cry when he heard it.

Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe it was a confirmation that Lu Sheng died of a heart attack one night more than two months after he said this. When the news came out, Lin Jianmin’s mind went blank. After sitting for a while, he remembered to contact his classmates and rushed to Kunming. He couldn’t sleep for days, and the tears flowed. Judging from the manuscripts left over, most of Lu Sheng’s paintings were completed. In the Guardian auction, the completed paintings set the highest record for contemporary painters of that year. The wife donated all the proceeds from the auction to an art charity foundation to support young artistic talents discovered across the country. The province has once again set off a craze for Lu Sheng’s Chinese painting art, which is full of enthusiastic praises. Most of the praises are “phoenix nirvana” and “rebirth from ashes”. There are not many new ideas. Lin Jianmin soon stopped paying attention to those comments. Interestingly, Xu Jing, who has been retired for many years, also wrote a sincere memory article, recalling the past sympathy and confidant contacts with Lu Sheng, and now he deeply regrets Lu Sheng’s untimely death. Thinking of the story about the reputation that the teacher told before, Lin Jianmin’s mouth muscles twitched a few times, and he threw the newspaper with this article down, feeling boring and sad.

Lin Jianmin found the auction works on the Internet, which are quite different from Lu Sheng’s previous style. Two of them are particularly shocking: the paintings are mysterious and deep, full of metaphysical meaning, steep peaks and mountains, ghostly valleys, ambiguous clouds, and the bright moon will be full. , make one believe that something is about to happen. A human-shaped black bird stands above the cliff, spreading its huge wings and making a gesture of soaring into the night sky. The night wind is protruding, the branches and leaves fly obliquely, giving people the feeling that the black bird is about to fly away to the moon. In the next picture, the bright moon is obscured by clouds, and the soaring black bird suddenly dives down, traversing the abyss of the canyon, and I don’t know where it ends up. Lin Jianmin seemed to hear the sharp chirping of the black bird. It was not despair, but determination. What made him mixed with joy and sorrow was that the mountains and cliffs in the two paintings were quite familiar to him.

That night, he had a strange dream: Professor Lu Sheng stood on the edge of the cliff, as if listening to the wind, but also as if looking into the distance, then fluttered his wings, turned into a giant black bird and flew away without a trace… After waking up and looking around, Lin Jianmin became more and more convinced of his own inference: Professor Lu Sheng was the one who copied the murals in Diexiu Cave many years ago. He really couldn’t imagine, if he had never been to that mountain, if he had never stood in front of the abyss, how could the teacher draw a picture so similar to the real scene.

8

In the huge library, the figures are gradually sparse. Caressing the cover of the book, seeing things and thinking about people, Lin Jianmin couldn’t help himself for a while. For more than a year, in addition to his own teaching and creation, he has devoted all his energy to sorting out Professor Lu Sheng’s master and apprentice manuscripts. The reason why he was attentive to this stemmed from a previous conversation. The professor regretted the lack of master-apprentice manuscripts, and his time was always insufficient. Lin Jianmin plans to complete the compilation and annotation in two years and publish it before Lu Sheng’s 50th anniversary of his career in art. During this process, he re-studied Professor Lu Sheng’s drawings and expositions. Behind the rationality and rigor of the teacher, he increasingly admitted that his painting system was profound and profound, and was seriously underestimated in the domestic art circle. In contrast, his own accumulation was so meager and barren that he couldn’t even compare to it. He was ashamed and sweaty for his frivolity and shallowness.

What puzzled him was that the teacher never talked to him about this “Wandering Collection” before his death. What did the teacher write in this book? The curiosity in his heart climbed up and up, like a solitary peak, a little oppressing him, and also urging him. Lin Jianmin took the book back to the teacher’s single apartment and read it one by one until it was 5:00 a.m. He was particularly interested in a few of them. The article was not too long. He read it several times, not only because he was mentioned in the article, but even though he appeared as “student L” in the teacher’s pen, he still saw himself at a glance. It is also because the mysteries that he has been seeking for many years and cannot be solved are all hidden in those articles. Right now, the answer to the mystery is emerging from the deep sea, rushing towards Lin Jianmin, and piercing him.

en route

The journey happens every year, but that one encounter on the train is unique in my lifetime.

It was the third year after retirement. At the end of May, my wife and I left Kunming and went back to our hometown in Fucheng to visit our sick father-in-law. Kunming is a city of flowers all year round. My wife loves this city more than I do. In recent years, she has been living more and more self-consciously and like a child. The only thing she cares about is her elderly parents in the floating city. Fortunately, there is a younger brother by her parents. My mother went to Suzhou to live with her sister a few years ago, and the floating city was not a big concern.

My wife is reluctant to fly, she has always been afraid of flying tools, and because of this, our original plan to go abroad to attend our daughter’s postdoctoral graduation ceremony had to be cancelled. I bought a high-speed rail ticket, and she made no secret of her excitement, saying that she could take a good look at the scenery by the window.

Despite the high-speed rail, the journey from the southwest to the north is still quite long. I have changed three books one after another, the last one is the Art Criticism of the Artists of the Late Qing Dynasty and the Republic of China. The drowsiness kept coming, I closed the book, and the wife on the opposite side was still in high spirits, staring out of the window for not enough. I leaned back on the seat and fell asleep after a while.

Not sure if I was awakened by a commotion or by the voice of my wife, maybe both. The car stopped, some people just got out of the car, and a large number of people got in the car, speaking with accents from all over the world, dragging suitcases large and small, and hurriedly looking for seats. Lu Wei patted my arm and called out, “Lu Sheng, look at that mountain. You fell asleep just now. The mountains outside are beautiful. Next time you can come to this mountain to sketch.” The mountains blocked the view, and because it was parked on the platform, only this limited area could be seen. I don’t know what mountain this is, or what province the car traveled to.

At this time, a fat middle-aged marshal came across from the opposite side, and I asked him, “May I ask what station is this?”

The marshal looked at me and said, “Xidishan Station.”

My heart was pounding, “Xidishan Station? This small station existed many years ago.”

The marshal replied: “There has never been a railway station here before, and this new station has only been opened for half a year. I heard that a very precious Buddha statue and murals were discovered on a mountain, which attracted painters from all over the country to visit and plan to build a painter’s village. It has become famous. , the popularity is booming, and the government has built a high-speed rail station here.”

“Listen to you, there was no station here before?” I repeated as if to ask for proof.

The marshal looked at me disapprovingly. He must be wondering how this man is so pedantic, but he patiently answered “Yes.”

My voice was so low that I couldn’t hear it, “But many years ago I got off here and climbed a mountain to find someone.” The train started and started to move forward. A few words of “Xidishan Station”.

I muttered to myself, “That was a dream.”

The marshal looked at me again and asked loudly, “What did you say?”

I didn’t say anything, and I didn’t seem to be sure what I just said.

At this time, Lu Wei, who had not spoken, looked at me seriously and said, “I can see from your eyes that you have been to this mountain.”

I was noncommittal and turned my eyes to the Xidie Mountain outside the window. On the top of the hill to the east, a cloud-filled place has transformed into a picture of misty clouds and mountains that I have never seen before, while the mountains to the west are completely captured by the splendid afterglow, which is magnificent.

Student L has been invited several times to sketch in Xidi Mountain, but I have refused. How could he understand the reason? In fact, it was the first time he told me that the Diexiu Cave was discovered, and there was a scroll of copied murals and a bald Zhou Huchen brush left in the cave, and I guessed the identity of the person who painted it. Especially the cliff outside the cave described by L is almost the same as what I saw in my dream. When the mysterious human-shaped black bird first appeared, I was surprised and even terrified. Later, I came to a realization: when many truths first arrived, they carried some frightening power until people surrendered to it.

Xidie Mountain Dream Walk

One morning in the early summer of 2005, my long-lost friend Shaohong sent me a letter, which was signed one and a half months ago. Since Shaohong left the floating city to live in seclusion, he has not heard from him for several years.

Shaohong called me, and I decided to visit him tomorrow. In this letter, he did not name the specific mountain. I remember he told me to go to Xidie Mountain to live in seclusion. After checking the train schedule, there was an early bus to Xidishan Station, so I immediately booked a ticket. This is a late visit, and Shaohong and I have not seen each other for 7 years.

The destination arrived after more than 4 hours. Xidie Mountain is a very small station, shrinking at the foot of the mountain. With so many carriages, I was the only passenger who got off the train. I suddenly looked around, and felt that I and Xiaozhan had been abandoned to a lonely place at the same time.

Xidie Mountain is not much different from the mountains in the south that I have been to. There are dense forests and bamboos on the mountain, and the peaks and turns turn around, where the most important thing is the pine and cypress trees, and the mountains and rocks that protrude like a rush. I didn’t see a stone house along the way. Halfway up the mountain, a vermilion temple suddenly appeared with a section of eaves, and I was overjoyed. The temple is very small, and no one is seen. Judging from the bed in the east wing and the pots and pans in the kitchen in the west wing, there should be someone in the temple.

At 6 o’clock in the evening, there was a sound of footsteps, and a monk in his 50s or 60s came in with a bag of grain and vegetables in each hand, and I was taken aback. I quickly explained my purpose and asked him how to go to the nearby mountains to find friends. The monk immediately shook his head and told me to give up the idea of ​​looking for people.

After dinner, there was nothing to do, the monk fell asleep while sitting, and after a while he climbed into bed and went to sleep. Leaving me melancholy and lonely, I sat withered in the flickering light and shadow of a white candle.

I walked to the open space in front of the house, a long red brick wall was built only to the waist of an adult, barely called a fence, and the mountains on three sides were unobstructed. The mountains that looked charming and beautiful in the afternoon, as soon as night fell, immediately revealed a little-known grimness. The night wind is getting stronger, the shadows of the trees are messy, shaking violently, like the ubiquitous dark soul, it will make a dull and depressing cry every few seconds. Qunfeng seemed to see my tiny figure at the same time. They were a group of moving high war gods, whispering and conspiring to squeeze towards me. I couldn’t help but take two steps back, and a faint whisper came out of my mouth: “Shaohong, where are you? If you and I still have telepathy, please come to my dream tonight.” A shadow appeared obliquely interspersed, and I was shocked. Cold sweat broke out on my back. I dared to turn my head around. It was a monk in a suit standing behind me. I said, “Why don’t you make any footsteps when you walk?” He looked at me in confusion and said, “It’s too windy on the mountain, hurry into the house.”

After a tiring day, he fell asleep quickly. I dreamed that I climbed a high mountain by myself, but I didn’t feel tired. When I reached the top of the mountain, it was light and dark before dawn. The mountains are not terrifying, but filled with a quiet and eerie atmosphere. Just wondering why climbing the mountain is so easy, it can be seen that when the monk was lying last night, a tall figure appeared on the opposite cliff. I was so nervous that I covered my mouth, for fear that my breath would disturb the other side. In fact, there was a long distance between us. Several long whistles echoed from the cliff to the valley, and the figure opened his arms like a samurai. The figure of the samurai turned into a giant black bird in slow motion, standing on the cliff, and the mountains changed from tranquil to majestic. In my astonishment, the black bird flapped its wings one after another, all of them spread out, making me believe that it was a pair of huge wings. After soaring upwards, the black bird turned and dived toward the abyss below the cliff. I stood on the opposite hill and watched the black giant bird fly away without a trace and disappeared. At this time, I suddenly thought of Shaohong, and my heart was a little bit saddened. For a long time, the valley seemed to respond with a few chirps, and it seemed like a burst of laughter. I continued to call out reluctantly, only to hear no chirping in response, because my voice was drowned out by the gust of wind. The wind roared like a wild beast, and like a mountain god, I woke up at this moment.

When I opened my eyes again, the sky was already bright, and I could see a tile-blue sky outside from the corner of the window. The smell of millet porridge and pancakes wafted from the kitchen. I bowed my head and sat down opposite the monk, as if I hadn’t come out of my dream last night, and said to myself, “I’m here to visit this time, can’t I see Shaohong again?”

The monk pushed the millet porridge and pancakes in front of me, and said slowly: “There are so many mountains, if your friends don’t tell you which one is on, how will you find them?”

Shaohong’s letter did not mention Xidie Mountain. The monk was right, if Shaohong really wanted to invite me up the mountain, why didn’t he tell me the exact location? Perhaps it can be said another way, if I had foreseen something and decided to come to Xidie Mountain, then the summoning of a mysterious letter would have another meaning. I didn’t tell the monk about the dream I had in the temple last night, I thanked him and said goodbye.

Now I can tell you that it was a dream. I’ve never been to Xidie Mountain, so it’s not accurate to say that, I’ve been there in my dream.

The letter that Shaohong disappeared without a trace is a dream, the trip to Xidi Mountain is a dream, the lonely station and the ticket are a dream, the temple on the mountain and the monks are a dream. And the dream I had in the temple at night was a dream within a dream. In fact, I was aware of the illusory nature of the trip to Xidi Mountain a long time ago.

In the 64 years of my life, Xidi Mountain Dreaming is the weirdest and most romantic event I have ever experienced. It makes me believe that time can be folded, not only time, but also reality can be folded, people’s life can also be folded, of course, reality and life are also time. If a person wants to hide himself, he only needs to fold himself up. It can be on any mountain, on the bank of a river, on a boat on the river, or even on a tree or a mural. But if you want to stretch the folded part flat and restore it, sometimes it takes luck and chance. Shaohong folded himself up quickly and became a strange man who escaped from the world. I had no hope and imagination for him, but he couldn’t open up his last period of time. What I couldn’t do when I was awake, in my dream, I easily pulled the folded Shaohong apart, and even watched him transform into a giant black-feathered bird and fly away. Not only a dream, but art can also realize the unfolding of time and people, things and things that will be folded. With dreams and art, the deepest and most obscure parts of time that have been folded and obscured will eventually be revived and resurrected. They are the most magical incubators in the world.

And some of the paintings that I have devoted all my attention to in recent years will put my thoughts on the folding of time into practice, or it can be said that they themselves are the art of folding of time. I will have a more detailed description in another article, so I won’t repeat it here.

Back to itself, so how much of my folded part? Now I can reveal that they may be folded in my paintings, maybe in my dreams, maybe in this book. Just like Shaohong, there is always a part that is folded by me that I cannot pull away. Who will pull me apart and resurrect me in the future? This kind of speculation once got me addicted, but isn’t it a wonderful thing?

mood dream painting

For many years, the idea of ​​a group of impossible paintings has been hidden in my heart, which at first sounds like a paradox. The more important works that I want to paint, the more I want to put it off, and even force myself to procrastinate. It seems only in procrastination that the hidden joys to arrive are stronger, far beyond their own worth. And just like that, they were dragged by me until I retired from art academy.

Regarding the beginning and end of teaching at the art academy, here are a few more things to mention.

During the reputation turmoil, his wife’s depression also peaked. My mind was heavy, I was tired of the world for a time, and my retreat was getting stronger. I told my wife one day, if tomorrow I put down my paintbrush and stop painting, I will take you to a strange village and town with a beautiful scenery, buy a farm, grow vegetables, raise a few chickens and ducks, and enjoy the blessings of the countryside every day. Simple and ordinary life, will you like it?

The wife said, I will like it, but I am not happy, because you are not happy, how can I be happy? To a large extent, your happiness comes from your painting creation and from the comprehension experience of art. Without these, would you still be Lu Sheng? If you give up painting for me, I don’t appreciate it, and I won’t allow it to happen.

The wife did not allow it, and that event did not happen in the end.

If my wife is willing, for the sake of my family, I can put down the brush.

When chatting with L before, I asked him, “What would you do if the world forced you to put down your paintbrush and stay away from painting?”

He replied: “Fight to the death.”

I said, “But maybe that so-called world is just you.”

At that age, how does he understand it? But in the end, he will understand.

When I was nominated by the old chairman as a candidate for the chairman, I was not without waves in my heart, and it was not as light-hearted as the outside world saw. After half a year, the reputation turmoil was finally diluted and evaporated, and I also turned from a decline to an advantage. It seems that I should be grateful for the easy victory, but I always feel that the invisible struggle and danger are always lurking in the road ahead. break out. When dealing with people, when a crisis comes, my usual way is to avoid it, not to meet it, which is also a projection of my personal character. But this opportunity to be elected president is indeed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and the opportunity will not come again for me. I was indecisive, conflicted, and restless almost all night. In the end, it was my wife who made the decision for me.

She said, “You are a gentle and weak scholar. If you force yourself into Vanity Fair, it’s not that you can’t handle it, but it’s a big deal. But you better ask yourself, what kind of life do you want and love? In my opinion, you are most suitable to go to a university as a professor, teach and educate people, cultivate calligraphy and painting, and calm down your heart.

I was shocked to hear what my wife said. It was the worst stage of her depression. It seemed like she was destined to talk about my whereabouts so calmly and calmly. Thinking about her point of view, I like it, but why didn’t I think of going to a university to teach? So the next morning, I expressed my attitude and decision to the old chairman, and since then I went to the Provincial Art Institute and became an art professor until I retired. It was also during that time, after the age of 50, that I really understood my friend Shaohong.

I have been working on this group of paintings for the past two years. They are not vain, not sloppy, or even anti-elegant. The paintings directly point to the essence of existence and have a strong metaphysical meaning. In the past two years, I have painted hundreds of manuscripts alone, and I have selected more than 100 useful materials, and burnt the rest. It’s just a matter of time before they fold up in my dreams and stretch out of suspension. In my decades of painting career, I have never been able to gather such great endurance and energy for any work. If I can complete them, the satisfaction will be unparalleled, even if I die instantly.

I remember L said to me when describing a cliff in front of the Diexiu Cave: “I always have a question in my mind, is there a possibility? The painter who concentrated on copying in the cave, after painting the manuscript, is in the process of attaining the supreme After his spiritual satisfaction, he came to the outside of the cave. Maybe it was a moonlit night, or maybe it was in the early morning when the mist was changing, and he was indulging in his own extreme experience of the natural creation and the treasures of his predecessors. He warned that there is a cliff here. Forget it, and stride forward into the void and the abyss.”

I was extremely shocked, even terrified, because I heard the same conjecture from a young junior. Although his heart was churning, he suppressed it and said nothing.

The letter in the dream that appeared miraculously was not so much a call from Shaohong to me, but a call from another me, the me folded in a distant place, to the me in reality. Therefore, that cliff is not only Shaohong’s destiny, but also mine. Maybe I know this too well, I repeatedly refused L, and I didn’t go to Diexiu Cave once. There are so many ties in reality, my wife suffering from depression is just one of them, but in my dreams I go again and again. Shaohong is more resolute and thorough than I am. He is a real brave man. He is more suitable to be an artist than me.

Mood, dream and painting, they so closely influence and pull people’s deep subconscious. In artistic creation, the influence of the subconscious mind such as dreams cannot be avoided, but it has been habitually ignored by people for a long time. I could have done more research in this area, but due to personal reasons, I just tried a little bit, so I couldn’t convey the subtleties and subtleties to the students. And this has left me with regrets in my teaching career.

In this group of paintings, the black bird goes up, and the black bird goes down again, originally two forces in different directions, but finally reach the same place. If you think it’s grotesque, I would say that it is art that opens this channel, allowing all the magic that is folded and obscured to appear and gather together, so that all those who have the same mind can cross thousands of mountains and rivers and run through thousands of generations, and finally meet each other. This is what I have come to realize after many years of ups and downs. Later, the image of the black bird became more and more clear and specific in my heart. In fact, this is a special meeting between me and Shaohong, as well as with the distant self, the past and future time, like a divine revelation, like a fable, flying Then dive down, just to appreciate the great joy of crossing the abyss.

The ultimate serenity came, and I sat motionless in this seemingly eternal tranquility, as if in a deep sleep.

To the last sentence, it was as if Professor Lu Sheng was whispering to him, gently pouring the power of King Kong, Lin Jianmin’s mind rang, and countless elves with thoughts flew out in groups. From the first time I set foot in Diexiu Grottoes, many years of doubts have arisen uninvited by accident, and they have been self-solved. He was deeply shocked by this frank and sincere old soul. At this time, as the only holder and guardian of the secret of “Wandering”, he didn’t know whether to be sad or happy, or maybe sad and happy, vicissitudes, and relief were all intertwined, and his heart was open.

9

During the holiday again, Lin Jianmin took a group of freshmen to Xidi Mountain to sketch. Most of the new students are going out for the first time, they are full of curiosity about everything, and they keep asking this and that. Entering the familiar Diexiu Cave again, he suddenly felt that the time inside and outside the cave came one after another, and all of them converged on him at this moment. He really smelled the scent of time, and the chaotic bitterness was mixed with a clear and precise trace of sweetness. Lin Jianmin felt that he was so close to Shaohong, as if they had known each other for a long time, but it was only because the time was too convoluted and obscure that they did not know each other until today, many years later.

He explained the artistic features of the murals to the students in detail, and then set aside time for them to carefully observe the lines and spatial layout of the characters, and then walked out of the cave by themselves. Compared to the time when he rashly looked down at the abyss and endured fear, 12 years later, Lin Jianmin stood on the edge of the cliff indifferently, facing the mountains in a trance. It rained last night, and this morning the sun was shining brightly, gilding the mountains with golden edges. Green is like washing, washing out extremely rich layers: bean green, tea green, turquoise, grass green, turquoise, black jade green, olive green, forest green, moss green, turquoise green. He was fascinated by it, strange that he had never seen green so clear and beautiful before. The rocks seem to be sturdy and sharp, but when you touch them with your hands, they leave a sense of roundness and tranquility, glowing with the ancient ochre-yellow brilliance. The grass and trees nearby, these green cubs in ambush in groups, let out a low roar when the wind passed, as if to greet his old friend playfully. However, Lin Jianmin ignored the beautiful scenery in front of him, and the people and things related to the Diexiu Cave kept flashing in his mind. He remembered the eagerness and confusion he felt when he first came to Diexiu Cave, and recalled Mr. Lu Sheng’s unparalleled interpretation and speculation on the folding of time in “Wandering Collection”. He closed his eyes and felt a torrent of understanding in his chest.

At this time, several students gathered around. Student A said: “The teacher must have come to sketch many times. In the last painting exhibition, two of your paintings appeared on the inscription of Xidi Mountain.”

Student B asked, “Mr. Lin stood facing the abyss, what did he think of?”

Lin Jianmin looked at them, turned his eyes to the peaks illuminated by the golden sunlight, and the blue sky that knew all the secrets of the world, and said slowly, “I was thinking about those gentlemen, thinking about if I were to tell you about Die Xiu. Who should start with the story of the cave?”

Share
Comments Off on Mr. Cliffside
error: Content is protected !!