Love accident

She sat up, put on suspender pajamas, put the thin white quilt on his sweaty stomach, took out a light from the cigarette case, and exhaled a stream of smoke gracefully: “If you don’t mind, I want to tell you a love story. story.”

He was moved, not knowing what she wanted to express with the story. Over the years, the two have maintained an on-and-off lover relationship, getting together for opportunities and not busying themselves with opportunities. The last time we met was six years ago. Six years have passed. Except for the vicissitudes of her eyes, her figure and appearance have not changed. The moment she pushed the door and entered, it was like stepping back in time, reminding him of standing under an apricot tree twenty years ago. The girl in white and black skirt. She is still single, which is his hidden worry.

He took her shoulders and said softly, “Tell me, I’ll listen.”

“Where did you start? This love is unforgettable to this day, and I also forgot how it started. We have been in love for seven years, and every year he tries to come here several times, and he travels a long way. After seven years, he divorced and turned his business to Here. The business is hard to do when I just turned around, and I can’t hire anyone. He does all kinds of work, loading, unloading, and working with the workers. His hands are peeling off. The business is just turning, and the mall is going to be relocated, but it can’t work all of a sudden At this time, he suddenly became seriously ill, and he hurriedly sent a text message to me, saying that he would go back to his hometown for treatment, and there has been no news since then.” She looked at the rising blue smoke and said nothing.

He listened quietly, disappointed that the story had nothing to do with him.

“I don’t know what he was sick with. His mother died of cancer, his father had cancer, and he was always worried that it was hereditary. The last time I lay with him was at dusk, half yellow and half dark. His face Sideways, flesh slumped, I suddenly felt ominous, watching him sink irrevocably into darkness, sink into death. He left looking depressed, his shoulders hunched over his back, as if overnight I lost a lot of meat and lost my spirit.” She exhaled a puff of smoke, and blew into the smoke again. He coughed and got out of bed to drink water.

She flicked the cigarette ash into the jar and watched as he stood in front of the table unscrewing the bottle cap, the fat on his waist swaying from side to side with his arms. Compared with 20 years ago, except for his height, everything else has changed. She wondered why she still came to see him, maybe what she saw was not this body, but the passionate years hidden deep in the body.

He poured a glass of water and handed it to her. She raised her head to drink water, her swan-like neck was long and tight, and there was no sagging. She is so beautiful, her flesh and bones are still even, and her temperament is elegant and mature.

“Are you sure he’s dead?” He stood by the window, it was noon outside, the sun was strong, and the street was so busy with people coming and going, but he was sitting in this small hotel hungry and listening to her talk about love story. He wanted to retreat, and he had to rush back to prepare for tomorrow’s meeting.

She lit another cigarette: “You want to say he was feigning illness and abandoning me? No need. Just like me and you, I didn’t want to marry you at all, and I never wanted to pester you. I didn’t spend a penny on him, He also lent him a sum of money to turn around when it was tough. He didn’t need to pretend to be sick, and he didn’t need to dump me. If I had this heart, I would have fulfilled him long ago. In five years, he hasn’t contacted me, so he shouldn’t be alive, right? I didn’t change my phone number.”

“You haven’t contacted him?” the two grey pigeons cooed while standing on the windowsill, occasionally turning their necks to glance at him.

“I called him. The first time someone answered, he just didn’t speak. When I called again, a woman answered and asked me who I was. I said it was a business friend, and he had an unpaid balance with him. She asked What time period does the business deal with, I said September. She said it was impossible, you must remember correctly. That’s right, he sent me a text message to go home for medical treatment in August, and stopped business, and he did not do business in September. There may be business dealings. This woman is his wife. She filed a lawsuit with him to divide the property and did not let him take care of the children. It seems that they are together again. I can rest assured that someone will take care of me. She’s an old lady with a Henan accent, and she doesn’t know Mr. Yin.” She shuddered, took out a cigarette, smelled it, put it back, and took a sip of water.

“You didn’t talk about marriage?” He had thought about divorce, but he didn’t act. After the seven-year itch, all aspects are on the rise, and he doesn’t want to leave or wants to leave. Since then, she has been bumping on the sea like a small boat, experiencing a love, another love, and looking back to him when she is tired.

“I don’t think he got divorced because of me, I’m just a fuse. His wife is strong, loves money, and has a habit of cleanliness. He has to take three baths in the same bed, and three times afterward. After the divorce, he still kept in touch with his wife, I’m still in better shape than before the divorce. I can’t get in.” She lit a cigarette and started smoking.

He left the window and sat back on the bed, and took her into his arms, his chest surging with blood, but he was chilled by the words behind her.

“I don’t want to marry a divorced man. You can say that I have a cleanliness addiction, or that I have a high self-esteem, but I hate divorced people. I really don’t care if others have used it.” He shoved half of his cigarettes into the ashtray and turned his head to look at him, “That’s why I never wanted to marry you, sorry.” He immediately felt ashamed.

“But then again, you’re not willing to leave for me, are you? You’ve never revealed that, let’s not dwell on the past, let’s go back to this story. The happiest time for me and him is in bed, and the world is no more Existence, there is only one best match for him, and one best match for me, made in heaven and irreplaceable.” She slid into the quilt meanderingly, unable to speak.

He got out of bed and dressed: “Go down and have some dinner.”

“I don’t want to eat, I can’t eat it.” She whimpered and covered her head.

“What if you don’t eat? I’ll go buy some, what do you want to eat?” He put on his clothes and waited for her to answer, but she was sobbing under the quilt, which was annoying.

He walked out of the room and came to the courtyard, feeling a fever on his back, like a fireball. He looked back sensitively, and a waiter looked at him through the glass door, like a devil who drilled out of a gallbladder, his head getting bigger and closer, as if he wanted to stick to his face at close range. He walked out of the yard quickly and wandered the street with restaurants on both sides, only to remember that he didn’t know what she liked to eat. After 20 years of dating, what is there to talk about more with her? It’s the romantic scenery floating in the air, never mentioning the chai, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea. She never asks him for errands. What she asks of him is to improve his clothes. Don’t wear striped panties, don’t wear striped T-shirts, and change to solid colors.

If they didn’t float in the clouds for a long time, would they be very happy when they got married? She was alive, bouncy and stamina in bed, while the wife was only slightly stronger than wood. If, in those days, she had given up everything and married her, she would not have stayed in the hotel and listened to her love stories. There was a tingling pain in his chest, and he hurriedly took out the Suxiao Jiuxin Pill and put it in his mouth. The spicy medicinal smell and saliva entered his throat, alleviating his anxiety. He roamed the streets idly, with no appetite. He didn’t want to go back too early, let her cry for a while, the trauma of the accident was too great for him to heal. The autumn wind wafted and rolled off the locust leaves, and the road was covered with a thin layer of yellow leaves, and there was no sound when you stepped on it.

He brought back two lunch boxes and went back to bed after eating. She had just taken a shower and was clean and fresh.

“Say something?”

“Whatever, I’ll listen to what you say.” He pretended to be relaxed, and his heart twitched again.

“Want to tell you another love story?”

“I haven’t finished talking about that just now.” He took her hand and put it on his chest, and there was a dark helplessness in his heart.

“One year during the Spring Festival, he came to see me. As soon as he got out of the station, someone came up to help him with a suitcase, and said he would take it to a taxi. In a blink of an eye, the person who carried the suitcase disappeared, the suitcase was carried away, and the clothes and cameras were all inside. Fortunately, he had the wallet and the documents were still there. He came to me in a messy clothes that he had squeezed for more than ten hours, laughing at himself like a shrew. He likes to be clean, his shoes are spotless, his ears and nose are hairy. Short cut. He’s mild-tempered and would rather be sullen than mad at me. When I’m angry, I start laughing again. After the business moved in, he was tanned and thin, and his head was bald. Sometimes I really don’t understand why he went from the familiar south to the unfamiliar north to ask for trouble.” She looked at the ceiling and fell into memory.

He recalled that when he went to the city to find her during work hours, he went back and forth for four hours, just to talk to her for half an hour. He saw his younger self being beaten back and forth with passion.

“I asked myself, what am I willing to give up for him? I thought and thought, but I won’t give up anything. When he came back to his hometown with a serious illness, I didn’t have the guts to visit him for fear of being beaten. I’m really nothing.” I cried, big drops of tears fell on the quilt.

“We’re all selfish.” His eye sockets were wet, and remorse welled up in his heart. She had had an abortion and didn’t tell him until after the abortion. He didn’t believe it at first, and then got angry. If such a big thing is dealt with without a single greeting, it’s a life. Afterwards, I was fortunate. At the time of promotion, how could this kind of thing happen? It was time to fall, and she had to persuade her to fall if she didn’t.

“Not only selfish, but also despicable. He brought an accountant and two relatives. The accountant crashed his car and went back. One relative robbed a group of his clients and started a new business. The other relative was a middle-aged woman who had been following him. I suspected something was wrong with them, and they had a fight. In order to cool off, he went out with me to play.” She found the cigarette case and pulled out another.

He felt jealous. They have been dating for so many years, and they have never played anywhere. They met in the hotel. They entered the door one after the other and went out one after another. They were afraid of meeting acquaintances. .

“We lived by the sea for a few days, followed the fishermen to the sea, scraped seaweed on the reef at low tide, dug clams on the beach, fell asleep to the sound of the tide at night, and woke up early in the morning. I always suspected that he loved it. Pure, maybe with a young man who has just grown up, I can believe in the purity of love.” She fell into contemplation, the cigarette between her fingers, burning long ashes.

The ashes fell on the quilt, and he flicked quickly, a cloud of smoke popped out, and a string of thunders exploded. Ten years ago, she scolded him hoarsely, to ruin his future, and accused him of rape. His heart was burning, he racked his brains to reassure her, and asked her what she wanted. She doesn’t want anything, she just wants to settle accounts with him. He drove her to the suburbs and wanted to have a good talk.

“You ruined me.” She wept bitterly and scolded through gritted teeth, “You are a hooligan! You never thought you would leave me traumatized?”

He let her cry and scold her, wondering what kind of stimulation she was getting, and he thought of making a final decision. He had always thought that his love was pure, that the two were attracted to each other, but coming out of her mouth turned out to be a despicable and shameless seduction. His heart was beating wildly, his mouth was dry, he unscrewed the bottle of mineral water and filled half the bottle at once.

She finally cried enough and turned to look out the window. The night was dark, and the weeds swept the car body dry and hard. “Adulter and adulterer, a pair of adulterer and adulterer.” She slapped herself, “I’m a bitch.”

After that, the two separated. At the end of each love, she returned to his arms like a homing bird, resting for a while and putting on her shirt. Men were the bunker she conquered, one after another, but none of them came to fruition.

She pulled her slippers and walked towards the sofa, shrugging her thin shoulders, raising her right arm, with a cigarette between her right fingers, her black curly hair covering her back, and her hips twisting lazily in her suspender skirt. He seemed to see Chen Bailu going to the end, decadent, charming, and hopelessly degenerate. She sat on the sofa, crossed Erlang’s legs, and squirted a long smoke at him with squinted eyes: “Don’t worry, old man, I will be responsible for you.” Then she leaned back on the sofa and laughed until her whole body twitched.

Feeling humiliated, he immediately got up and dressed. Let’s go now, don’t stay for a minute, so as not to be tricked by her and never see each other again. As soon as she put the dark gray T-shirt over her head, she rushed up to him, put her arms around his head and pressed against the bed: “Don’t go, it’s not intimate enough yet.” She took off the T-shirt and threw it on the ground, took off her suspender skirt. Toss, climb into bed, spread out.

He picked up his trousers irritably: “I can’t do it anymore, I’ll die if I keep working hard. You’ve squeezed me out.”

“Then don’t do it. The story isn’t over yet.” She rolled over on the bed and touched the cigarette again, the last one. He put on his trousers and sat naked on the edge of the bed.

“We also went to Zhangbei, riding a horse, riding a sheep cart, picking up mushrooms, sleeping in a Datong shop, and drinking milk tea. On the day I came back, I had a bad stomach, and I went to the toilet every time at the station. He waited at the ticket office and asked for the ticket. The staff waited for another two minutes. I came out of the bathroom clutching my stomach, and he grabbed me, for fear that I would turn around and plunge into the bathroom. After getting in the car, my stomach was healed, so we got off in a small town and went to a house full of mud In my village, the streets are filled with cow dung and horse dung, and flies are buzzing. He went to the depths of the forest to relieve him. I looked at the dark forest and suddenly felt fear in my heart, for fear that he would leave me and run away. You have also felt this way. gave it to me.”

He couldn’t remember, so he patted her hand, picked up the T-shirt from the ground and put it on.

“That year you came to me and lived in the school hostel. I went to look for you after class. You were not there. I was so anxious that I had a fever all over my body. I unbuttoned my coat and walked wildly in the cold wind. When the people who fry chestnuts saw you, they immediately burst into laughter. At that time, when I couldn’t see you, I panicked, and I felt like the sky was about to collapse.” She let the smoke burn between her fingers, “I’ll send it when you leave. , ran up the overpass, staring at your back while running, reluctant to blink. Every time you leave, it is an abandonment to me. ”

“Every time you fall in love, it hurts me.” He stood up with a long sigh.

“Why do you condone me and others?” she asked slowly, puffing out a puff of smoke.

“What right do I have to take care of you? Can I take care of you?” He got up and walked to the window, pushing it open a crack to breathe.

“I’m like an ant surrounded by camphor, rushing from side to side but unable to escape.” She pressed the cigarette butt into the jar and sighed.

“You never thought of getting married?” He sincerely hoped that she would stop being single and have a family.

“I want to marry you who have never been married. Without you, I would rather be single.” She leaned against the bed and hugged her shoulders.

“Stupid. Good marriages are made by running in. You are married now, and there is still time to have children. You have to make yourself a relative.” He left the window, “Don’t let me worry about you. I’ll go to the bathroom.”

He closed the bathroom door, slapped his face, rubbed his face in the mirror, came out and put on a T-shirt: “What role do I play in your heart?”

“Tutor and listener.”

“Not worthy of being a mentor. Continue your love story.”

“We went to the beach, and he only knew how to dig a dog and dig in the water. I couldn’t swim, so I just stood in the water and looked at him, and I felt disgusted. Do you think there is something wrong with me? I love him. It’s true, and the disgust is also true. Even if he is no longer in this world, I still disgust him when I look back on the way he looked like a dog.” She rubbed his shoulders, “Do you think I’m sick? The last time we met, I picked up He looked at his hand and saw the blue veins lying on the back of his hand. It was so ugly. How could I be with someone who has such hands? I kissed the back of his hand and wanted to make the bulging veins shrink back. That was the time , I had an ominous feeling, and had a premonition that he would be unfortunate. In five years, I have never dreamed of him.” A groan burst out from the depths of her chest.

He turned around. “What does he look like?”

“I want to go to him, see his wife and son, and see his old father. The old man has esophageal cancer. Since I knew me, his family has been in trouble one after another. It was my appearance that made him unhappy, or he I just happened to show up when I was unfortunate? You say, is love a disaster?” She pulled him back and burst into tears.

“I don’t know. I have to go, take care, quit smoking, find a similar marriage, and don’t fight against yourself.” He took off the backpack on the hanger, opened his arms, and wanted to hug one last time.

She pulled the phone from the bedside, opened the photo album to enlarge it, and held it in front of his face: “Don’t you want to know him?”

He glanced at it with a complicated mood, and it was very familiar, as if he had seen it before.

“This is the person I’ve dated the most like you.” She threw the phone back, jumped up, hugged his head and pressed it hard on her chest.

A sledgehammer slammed into his chest, again and again. With gold stars in his eyes, he had to close his eyes and lean on her weakly: “Forget me. Be obedient, forget me is the only way to truly forgive me.”