Hemisphere Circus

  No one asked to be with me. It was my mother who went to the airport with me. She threw her sister to her father and other workers and left the island for a very rare day. She stood with me on the conveyor belt of the airport, took my arm and began to imagine my good life in the next year. She said Germany, German sausages, German beer, Black Forest cakes and Bavarian-style baked apple pie. , You can eat a lot of delicious things, I will definitely make a ball when I come back. When she talked about these foods, her eyes lit up, and a pair of cheeks bulged out round and round, and her whole face had already become a ball before me. Before accidentally getting pregnant with my sister, she studied pastry at the Shanghai Amateur Cooking School for three years. We moved to the island with our family when the study period was about to get the certificate. She also tried to plant basil, cinnamon, rosemary, various raw material crops commonly used in western dishes on the land that has been invaded by damp water all the year round. The seeds rot before they completely take root, and some of them never germinate. . She tried to make bread in the earthen stove left by her predecessors to burn the wood in the kitchen of the old house. The dough was lying in a large dark pot, and the steam dissipated when the lid was lifted. The pots and pots were twisted and tangled together, like a woman. The shape of a dead fetus in the maternity hospital.
  She accompanied me to check my luggage, get my boarding pass, and walk all the way to the security checkpoint, still talking about the three forms of traditional Black Forest cake. When I was in line with the crowd at the gate, she seemed to wake up from some trance dream, suddenly raised her head and asked me, are you really going?
  It’s all here, what are you not going to do?
  I looked at her in surprise. The boarding pass and passport were crumpled in my hand, and I was constantly re-soaked in sweat.
  She stretched out her arms to wrap around my body, swinging her hands, scratching my arms like ivy entwined with trees. While scratching, she looked straight at me with pleading expressions. I took her ten fingers off my right arm one by one, turned around and carried the luggage onto the conveyor belt. I continued to walk forward, and under the guidance of the ground crew, I stepped onto the corridor leading to the passenger plane. When I walked, I never dared to look back.
  Until I stepped on the metal pedals and boarded the cabin of the plane, her last words were still buzzing in my ears, don’t go, and spend the summer vacation with my family on the island, celebrate the Spring Festival, how nice to be with her and my sister as usual . She said that you know how your dad’s temper is. If there is one less angry person in the family, he might be able to deal with the rest of the people… Your sister is young, now if you leave, I will be the only one. NS.
  I’m the only one.
  How good as usual.
  I looked at the bustling crowds in the cabin, recalling the boundless tide and the gloomy sea fog on the island, the sea fog was still there, even if I boarded a flight to a foreign country, even if I was already on a passenger plane. Finally, in front of my mother, I just told her that all the classmates were waiting on the plane. I also reminded her that I have set up a global link. There is no extra cross-border fee for making international calls. Dad will not lose his temper. I have grown up and can face the world alone.
  Because the ticket exchange time was a little late, I sat in a very corner at the back of the cabin. When I leaned my head on the inner bulkhead of the plane, I could even vaguely hear the consigned pet dog panting and barking in the cage. They cross the oceans, covered with shading cloths, the planes carrying and carrying them taxi, climb, retract the landing gear, and pass through the turbulent air currents in the sky, but they don’t know anything about it. Accompanying the dogs in these cages are only the curtains above their heads and eyes that cover all the light outside the cage, as well as the dark, miserable, misty world outside the curtains.
  I was sitting by the window, and I could feel the roar of the aircraft body strongly on the left side of my body. The plane trembles and jumps into the clouds, cutting off all morning and night. I started to adjust the watch according to the time indicated on the electronic display in front of me. I arrived in Amsterdam in eleven hours. Europe is now in the East Second Time Zone. The time needs to be adjusted seven hours forward. I stretched out my right hand and moved my thumb to The nail of the index finger forms a circle, and the two fingers are embedded in the gap between the right knob of the clock on the left hand. When the finger was inserted for the first time, the knob was not successfully bounced by the reaction force of the finger pad, and it still stayed in the original position tightly. So I increased my strength and squeezed two fingers in again, but the nails were too short, and the very shallow crescent-shaped edges did not form enough force to pry the entire knob, let alone the plane passing through the airflow, continuing With tiny bumps. I tried again and again many times. Sweat constantly seeped from the pores on the palms of my hands and the tips of my fingers. They overflowed and flowed, and gathered in every dent in the circle of threads on the knob, forming bright and narrow pieces. The small pond looks like when it rains in the fields on the island. Whenever the rain passes, the field will be filled with a lot of water. Under the branches of rice ears and watermelon vines, rivers of different depths are formed. There are tadpoles, frogs, crabs, and many unnamed aquatic insects. They swim and turn. , Stay as if human beings as observers do not exist.
  Except for the silver knobs, the surface of the watch is made of silicone and plastic. Through the translucent case, you can see mechanical parts of various colors, which rotate, expand and contract, and return to their original positions again. Since I was very young, I have liked to stare at the dial for a long time, imagining that I have been living in the shadow of small and tiny things, being a resident of a narrow kingdom. Circle after circle, I was spinning on the silver gears, circle after circle, the shadow of the multi-layer sky covered every inch of light above my head. I can’t see my hands in the shadows, and the deafening gear bite presses down on my eardrums, as if I’m sleeping beside a waterfall or a planetary track, letting the sound of the body’s movement flow and rush, mighty and straight. Through my chest.
  Until the plane arrived in Frankfurt, when our class boarded the bus in the hot summer sun, I still hadn’t adjusted my watch, and the place where the nail and flesh of my right hand were stuck was still aching, and I tried my best several times. , I was almost about to pull the knob away, but at this moment, I was always interrupted by various accidents-the plane climbed up, and the stewardess began to distribute drinks. My head is dizzy and I don’t know where I am heading, my stomach is a mess, and I don’t know which country I’m going to eat now. There were three rounds of the airplane meal. The hot aluminum foil was uncovered time and time again and it was scrambled eggs. Cut the vegetables into chunks on top. I picked up the fork and stretched it toward the vegetables. The tip of the plastic fork left only a few shallow dents on the rocky hard shell. As if the flight attendants had long expected that passengers and friends departing from Shanghai would have difficulty adapting to these scribbled cooking that looked like a disaster site, each tray containing aluminum foil lunch boxes was accompanied by a friendly-looking sandwich. The sandwich is specially heated, and I can feel the damp warm water vapor through a thin layer of plastic paper. I put three sandwiches in the pocket of my school uniform and spent the rest of the long distance with endless drowsiness.
Three, milk

  The barbecue party in the evening was not cancelled, and the venue was still selected in a country park not far from the town in accordance with the original plan. The courtyard dedicated to parties is obviously a pre-war building, rebuilt from the old aristocratic abandoned industries, with red tiles and yellow walls, like all old houses, with two wings protruding forward, hugging a large pond and lawn. The pond connects with the tributaries of the river, and the dark tide stretches towards the distant valley. Along the way, there is a haze formed by layers of industrial exhaust gas. Many dark-colored roof ridges can be seen. They are hidden in the shadow of the hills and fir trees and the plain grass sea. The signs and coat of arms hanging diagonally along the window are faintly discernible. They originally belonged to the residences of stables and lumberjacks. They were also the estates of the manor before the war, but now the carved fences are still there, but there is no longer a living soul.