Compelling guilt

  There is a cat and a dog in my house, and cats come earlier than dogs.
  When the cat came from a friend’s house, it was just a week old, gray and white, with four little feet hidden under its stomach, and it wobbled like a ball of fluff when it walked.
  That cat is not only beautiful, but also cute. After I grew up, I was basking in the garden, catching butterflies, jumping and waving my paws. Without mice, it attacked the birds, and the strawberries in the yard were kept intact by it. Often, our family goes for a walk in the park behind the house, calling it or not, as long as it sees it, it will follow us, stop and go, play, and then catch up, sometimes it will run in front of us and lie sideways. , Showing her snow-white hair, “Mimi” yelled twice, softly, indicating that we should be close to it and be gentle.
  When it is naughty, because there are children in the house, it is not allowed to enter the house because it is afraid of fleas on its body. Occasionally once or twice, when someone is unprepared, it will rush in, stay under the table, and will secretly eat a bite or two of food at the table. At that time, it was beaten by me as usual. But it does not hold grudges, beats it, scolds it, and is still close to me.
  When the cat was two years old, a dog and a puppy came to the house.
  The dog was met by my nephew on the way home from school, and he was wandering the streets alone. It’s a famous dog, long-haired, and white. Such a dog will never be thrown away. It must have escaped from the house. His nephew gave him a biscuit, and he followed it for fifteen minutes, unable to drive it away.
  It “ran away from home”, and then “a mother with milk”, I despise it from my heart, but because I was in need of a dog to watch the door, I asked for it.
  Cats and dogs are enemies. And the cat suddenly saw an “outside house” in its own territory, naturally glared at each other, and made a “whee–whee–” wind-like sound in his mouth, ready to fight at any time.
  In the beginning, the dog consciously came to the newcomer and occupied its territory. The cat doesn’t eat that set, it’s like lightning, a paw goes up, and a blood stain on the dog’s nose, the dog follows like a bereaved dog, clipped its tail and fled.
  However, a dog is a dog after all. After realizing that he is stronger than a cat, he grinned and barked at the cat. First succeeded, and then spotted the opportunity. Suddenly, arrows rushed towards the cat. The cat was so frightened that he jumped up the fence with his legs up. The panic was still undecided, but the barking dog was finally grieved. Even though it was angry, he did not dare to live in the same courtyard with the dog again.
  You must choose one of fish and bear’s paws, either a cat or a dog.
  But I couldn’t make this ruthless and unjust decision, so I ignored it and let it develop naturally.
  The cat cannot return to his territory. At first, it jumped on the fence and barked twice every day, then I opened the door, hugged it, chased the dog away, and fed it some food. Later, it came back every two or three days, three or four days, and then later, it disappeared. It’s gone.
  I have looked for it, around the house, in the places where it often goes in and out, but I haven’t found it.
  ”It’s going to go on its own.” I always tell myself that, never thinking about it.
  In the middle of the night, my wife suddenly woke me up and said: “The cat is back, and I heard the cry.” I
  listened to it, but I couldn’t hear anything, but my heart was no longer at ease. In the winter, I still dressed and opened the door.
  The moonlight is like washing, and there is no cat shadow.
  ”You have a dream.” Back to the house, I said to my wife.
  The wife said nothing. After that, I tossed over and over again, unable to fall asleep.
  ”I don’t know where it sleeps or what it eats…Is it still alive?” After a long time, she spoke softly and slowly, her voice saturated with sighs and hurt.
  One evening, playing with the children in the backyard, suddenly a gray shadow flashed past the fence. The cat is my cat! Rush to the fence and stick his head out-it’s it, it’s still alive.
  ”Mimi.” I let go.
  It stopped and looked back at me.
  ”Mimi, come here.” I continued calling.
  It still looked at me, but it didn’t move, it didn’t move… After a while, it turned around, resolutely turned its head, and resolutely took the step of continuing to leave.
  Does it recognize me anymore? Don’t want to recognize me anymore?
  Jumped out of the fence, chased it, chasing and calling.
  It seemed like it hadn’t heard it, walking along the long dry river. I ran, it ran, I walked, it slowed down, and it was always ten feet away from me.
  unbelievable. I raised it up and played with it, but now, two years of emotions have turned into dust, and it treats me like a passerby.
  Where does it want to go, does it have a new home?
  ”Mimi, Mimi.” I continued calling, continuing to follow it.
  Finally, it stopped.
  I walked over and picked it up. It let me hug it, but it didn’t make the gentle and close calls that I used to. I moved its head and turned towards me. It didn’t look at me, and turned its head back…
  ”You are going to go, you are going to go.” I held it in my arms and pressed my cheeks against it. Touching his face while muttering to himself…
  Finally, it raised its head, looked at me, screamed, and finally screamed…The cry was prolonged, full of grievances, like crying, like telling me these days The suffering, loneliness and desolation that came.
  Can’t help it, the last layer of self-deceiving paper covering the conscience is torn, and emotions gush out: “Sorry, Mimi, I abandoned you, I know, I know…”
  Months have passed. . Nowadays, Mimi comes back once a day, instead of going to the backyard, only calling twice at the front door, I open the door, hug him, play with him for a while, and feed him some food.
  But still didn’t chase the dog away, no.
  People, people, how much guilt should be caused in life, for cats, for dogs, and for people.

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