Why are you more difficult to let go of the same thing than others

  Recently, it has become increasingly felt that our destiny is actually hidden in our “habits.” Yes, it is a habit. Various habits, including physical, in life, dealing with people, the way of looking at things, and the way of responding to things, are constantly shaping our destiny.
  For example, I am born with a weak stomach. People like this should drink less water and soup before and after meals, so that the gastric juice is not diluted, so as to better gather energy to digest food.
  However, I just love to drink soup. It doesn’t matter if the food is not good for a meal. As long as there is a bowl of good soup, I will be very satisfied. It is really difficult for me not to drink soup, so I am destined to be a weak person.
  There are some people who don’t like to drink water by nature (drinking too much water is of course not good), but these people may prefer to drink flavorful beverages, or even tea and coffee, so their health will also be affected. Influence.
  Many people now know that sugar is bad for your health. Some people (such as me) don’t like sweets by nature, so it is not difficult for me to quit sugar.
  Similarly, shellfish seafood and river fresh foods are my favorites. However, some people are born to be unable or dislike to eat seafood, and are allergic to them. These people are more fortunate.
  You are what you eat. This is a truth that can be verified by science. Of course, some people eat bad food and still have good health because they are born with a good foundation.
  For some people, paying attention to the food they consume will greatly improve their quality of life and even life span.
  However, how many people know and pay for this open secret? It’s really not much.
  Most people eat, drink and sleep according to their own tastes and preferences.
  Your unhappiness is related to your habits
  I saw an old man a few days ago. He was very proud to say that he only sleeps for two or three hours a day, does not eat breakfast, eats food, and sits for a long time. I see him being old and staggering, and his whole body aches (beating his shoulder and waist from time to time). I know that his body is suffering, but his mental power is strong, so he can hold it.
  The question is, if he can have good living habits and health habits, will his quality of life be better? Can his life be extended so that he can make more contributions to this world?
  There is also a bad habit: not to bear your own faults and responsibilities, only to throw away the pot and blame others.
  For such a person, his various relationships must be tense. Apart from being unsatisfactory, he has to blame others even more instead of looking back at himself.
  A kind of person similar to this kind of person is: accustomed to digging holes by himself, and blaming others after jumping down, thinking that it is the fault of this world that made him live so badly.
  For example, there may be some people around you with inexplicable obsessive-compulsive disorder. When he woke up early in the morning, he looked ugly, and asked him what was wrong. He said that he had rushed to report yesterday, and he was done with everything, and he looked like a victim.
  But you know, his report is not in a hurry. There may be three or four days before he needs to hand it in. His own compulsive behavior makes him need to stay up late to report. Wake up in the morning, but you have to look at his face, as if it was your fault.
  The point I want to say is that all the unpleasantness in our lives actually comes from our behavior patterns, thought patterns, and emotional patterns.
  Unless there is a very extreme example, someone has experienced what happened to you and made you painful, and they may not suffer from it, or they may solve the matter in a short period of time. Get out of the darkness and see the light again. And why are you stuck here?
  To me, this is all a kind of “habit”-habitual behavior pattern, habitual way of thinking, addictive emotional response pattern. To break this habit, three necessary conditions are required.
  How do you break the inertia of
  the bad habits make you miserable and you are aware of.
  In many cases, we do not necessarily suffer for the pain we have created. Some people have some bad habits, but these habits do not make them painful, or that they do not feel that their problems, troubles, and pain are “suffering.”
  Just like the old man mentioned earlier, his life habits are not good, but he lives comfortably, and he doesn’t feel any problems with physical discomfort.
  He also proudly said that he has never been to the hospital or taken medicine. Therefore, although we can see that he is in poor health and suffering from illness, he is not affected by it.
  Therefore, he will never change his bad habits. Of course, there is no problem at this point. Everyone has the right to live the life he wants.
  You are aware of your pain, and you think you have the responsibility and ability to eliminate it.
  Many people feel bitter, but they think it is the fault of others.
  For example, many people like to make themselves very hard and busy, and they don’t even have time to sit down and take a breath. He would feel that everyone around him “forced” him.
  But I don’t want to see it. It’s my impatient and conscientiousness. I want to accomplish what I think I should do well within the shortest possible speed. In fact, no one else is persecuting him, and they are all digging holes and jumping on their own.
  We have also seen that many people have a very good life, and they have everything they should, but when you talk to him, he immediately blames this person and complains about that, as if it were painful.
  He knows his suffering, but feels that his suffering is the fault of others. Such a person cannot bear the responsibility for his actions and can only be a victim.
  Take those who need to look at their partner’s face for example. He doesn’t sleep well, and he gets a face in the morning, so just ignore him. For such a person, being in a good mood can be comforted. If you are in a bad mood, you can go out and do errands. Do your own affairs and manage your emotions. This is the best performance of being responsible for yourself.
  You feel that you are suffering, and this kind of pain reappears again and again. Even if you change to different scenes and different people, you still experience this lingering pain. You know that you have to bear most of the responsibilities. Therefore, You are determined to change.
  In many cases, even if we know this is our responsibility, we are unwilling to change. Because change means stepping out of your own safety zone, comfort zone, and entering an uncharted territory. At the same time, change means “I was wrong.” For many people, this matter may be more terrifying than death (no exaggeration!).
  The most obvious example is that if you have big complaints about your important households (parents, lovers, children), it is usually the result of our unwillingness to take responsibility.
  For example, maybe we pay too much attention to the opinions of our parents, rely too much on our parents, or we still rely on our parents financially, so we have to obey them. If you can’t justify yourself, you can’t straighten up in front of your parents.
  An adult asked me: I am a homosexual, my parents are suffering because of this, and I am also suffering, what should I do?
  In fact, the most important thing is that you have to let go of your parents’ identification with you and respect that your parents are independent individuals (although they obviously don’t respect you so much). The suffering they suffer is what they decide to endure.
  For example, I have seen many homosexual parents who readily accept this fact. Why can’t your parents and want to persecute you for this?
  For example, I have also seen that many homosexuals are opposed by their parents, and they gently insist on being themselves. In the end, their parents also accept it.
  The same problem is not a problem for others, but a big problem for you. You said, who should be responsible and who should work hard?
  If we can take responsibility for this matter and change it (change our thinking mode, reaction mode), the skills you have learned to master your own life can be used in other aspects of life. Life will get better and better, the pattern will be wider and wider, and the level will be higher and higher.
  For another example, in an intimate relationship, many people walk around, and the more they look at the other person, the less pleasing they are, or they feel that the two people really can’t get along. If you complain to your relatives and friends around you, the answer is all: You should have left him long ago.
  Perhaps you have to be brave enough to see why you are staying in such an unnourishing relationship, what is it you are nostalgic for, or are you afraid of something? If the answer from the people around him is: I don’t know the blessing in the blessing, the marriage is like this in the end, he is already a good man.
  Then maybe you have to see if you expect too much, refuse to let go of your expectations, or have too much focus, attention, and presence on the other person.
  The two examples cited above—parental relationships and intimacy relationships—are caused by our care too much. Why do we care too much about these important households?
  That’s because we haven’t lived our lives well, we haven’t lived our lives full and happily, so we always have to please ourselves through others.
  Understand this truth and be willing to make up your mind to change your habits (behavior, thoughts, emotions), then your life is in your own hands!