The cousin and cousin were introduced to each other, and they got married soon afterwards. After the marriage, they often quarreled because of trivial matters, so the cousin got involved outside. After the cousin found out, she decisively divorced her cousin, and their daughters were raised by her cousin.
At that time, my cousin was working in a state-owned barber shop with a meager salary. The mother and daughter rented a small house outside and lived on each other. Soon after the unit was restructured, she resigned and opened a barber shop and became the boss herself. After more than ten years of hard work, I finally worked hard and turned a small barber shop of less than ten square meters into a large-scale beauty and hairdressing company that is well-known throughout the city. The success of the career is admirable, but what makes people admire even more is that the cousin has also raised a very good daughter. Not only is it slim and graceful, but from elementary school to university, it is recognized as a scholar in the eyes of teachers and students. After returning from studying in Moscow, he successfully entered a financial institution and is now the middle level of the bank.
Look at my cousin, since divorced from his cousin, he remarried, but had a bad time, and then divorced, tossing and tossing, and finally turned himself into a lonely family. My body is getting worse, and I can’t even go to work.
During this period, although the cousin did not ask his cousin for a penny, she did not stop their father and daughter from contacting them, nor did she say anything bad about his father in front of her daughter. She said that once a husband and wife under the roof, you said he was so unbearable, or even worthless, then others would think that you are certainly not much better.
What impressed me the most was that my daughter went to study in Moscow that year. My cousin asked me to accompany him to give three thousand yuan to my cousin. I know that this amount of money is indeed a drop in the money for my daughter’s tuition, but it is already It was the maximum that my cousin could bring out at the time. Unexpectedly, the cousin did not refuse. Afterwards, my cousin said to me: “This is what a father thinks of his daughter. It has nothing to do with the size of the number. I can’t refuse, let alone this crucial point in the growth of the child. I want my daughter to remember that his father did not abandon it. She, don’t care about her, it’s just that there is a gap between the conditions and the mother. Although there is no father to accompany him, you can’t let the child lose the father in his heart. In that case, the child will have no confidence in front of others and will not be happy.
After listening to this passage, I not only admired my cousin, but also respected me.
At the moment, his cousin is over 60 years old, and his daughter not only renovated the house for him, but also hired a nanny specially for him to spend his old age.
My colleague Yang, when her son was three years old, her husband and her close friend were together. The merciless betrayal of her partner and the love of a good sister made her lose confidence in life for a time. Unkempt all day, almost collapsed. But one day when she heard her son crying to his father in his sleep, she suddenly woke up. I thought, what’s wrong with me? If this continues, won’t his son suffer along with it? He is innocent! As a result, she rearranged her home, twirled her long hair, and appeared in front of her son in a brand new posture.
The son asked her where did his father go? She told her son, “Aren’t you most afraid of the big bad wolf? Dad went to beat the big bad wolf for you.” She also begged her son’s grandparents and grandparents to say the same to the children. Because she didn’t want to plant the seeds of hate in her son’s young heart. She said that among all the psychological burdens, only hatred is the heaviest, especially hate one’s relatives. Its biggest disadvantage is that it can easily take away all your happiness. Moreover, she didn’t want a bad father in her son’s memory.
This “big bad wolf” has been fighting for several years, during which there was no news. As her son grows up, she will buy toys in advance every Chinese New Year or her son’s birthday, and then spend money to hire a stranger to pretend to be a courier to the house, open it in front of her son and tell her that it’s all Father bought him a gift.
Some people also advised her that if you do this is tantamount to hiding your ears and stealing the bell, it is a typical self-deception, not to mention that you can’t control others’ mouths! She replied: “I don’t care what others say, I just need to control my mouth, because I know how much a mother’s words weigh in the heart of a child!”
Right now, her son is a sophomore. Not only are they excellent in character and learning, but they are also very sunny. You can hardly see some of the characteristics of children from most single-parent families. Of course, she had already told her son the truth of the matter, but the way she told it required a bit of wisdom. She said: “I also want to thank my ex-husband. Fortunately, he left us when my son has no memory. Otherwise, it would be really difficult to tell my son. In fact, as long as there is no hatred in my heart, I will naturally not utter bad words. The ex-husband’s attitude directly affects the son’s attitude towards his father. In any case, he is the father who is related to his son by blood, and he treated me well before the betrayal, which is enough.”
In the TV talent show, a fourteen-year-old boy performs acrobatics. This should be the simplest, most primitive, and most earthy performance of all acrobatics I have ever seen. There are no costumes, no professional props, or even the opening remarks. A dilapidated wooden stool and a faded silk flower are placed on the stage and the performance begins.
The unique job of this little boy is to stand on a wooden bench and lower his waist, and then use his mouth to pick up the silk flowers on the ground. When he completed this action and stood firmly on the wooden bench, he immediately won thunderous applause and bursts of cheers from the audience.
From the host’s interview, I learned some of this little boy’s life experience. Not long after he was born, his father was sentenced to jail for accidentally wounding his life in a fight, leaving him, his two sisters and his frail and sickly mother alone. They dare not live in their hometown again because they are afraid of their enemies’ revenge, and a family of four wanders. Later, he and his sister saw acrobatics performers on the street, so they secretly learned from others and went home to practice hard. He said that by learning this skill, he can feed his whole family.
When the host asked him why he wanted to participate in this show and what his biggest dream was, the little boy cried, and he choked up and said, “I’m on TV and I’m on the show so that Dad can see me. My biggest dream is One day I can stand in front of my dad and call out to dad to experience the feeling of having a dad.”
The host said: “Today you are standing on this stage. At this moment, you are watching as your father is sitting in front of the TV. Then what do you want to say to him most?”
The little boy wiped away his tears and said solemnly: “Dad, I miss you so much. Mom often tells me that you loved me so much when I was a child. When I got home, I held me high. Now I’m grown up. , I am taller than you, you must not be able to move me, but you can hug me. Dad, the whole family hopes that you will be reformed in there and fight for the reduction of your sentence. Don’t have any worries. Don’t worry about anything, your son. You can already earn money, and you will earn more and more. After you come out, your son will support you!”
After the little boy finished speaking, the host and the audience all burst into tears…
These three children had similar experiences, but basically none of them left any shadow on their hearts. For these three children, our most intuitive impression should be two words: sensible. Of course, at the beginning of human beings, they are inherently good in nature. We do not rule out that they must have a natural and sensible nature. However, in addition to this innate nature, there is a subtle power that must not be underestimated as they grow up. That is the guidance of the mother. These three mothers do not have a high degree of education, and they must not have any professional research on how to train their children to become talents. They only spotted one thing after a sudden family change. In any case, they should not be let their children hate them. ‘S biological father, because there is nothing more cruel than hating one’s relatives in this world. And such guidance is undoubtedly the best education for the growth of three children.