If you’re not a casual person, don’t always say “whatever”

  Appointing a meal in Beijing is really difficult. What’s even more difficult is that I finally got the time, but I can’t decide where and what to eat. Everyone pulls up a WeChat group to discuss, and many people have similar answers, “I can do it,” “Whatever you want,” and “I have no opinion, you decide.”
  In the end, there must be someone who can’t afford to put up a discussion, “Should we eat hot pot?” This is often the beginning of the real discussion. Some people will say “OK” and some will say “Oh, I just ate hot pot last night. Let’s change it.” Some people will say, “Don’t eat hot pot, eat Cantonese food”.
  Just now I didn’t care about people who talked casually. They immediately no longer behave casually. They will deny, decline, and be picky. If they can put forward ideas, it would be great. I am most afraid of asking him what he wants to eat later. The answer is “anything, whatever.” .
  It’s really a headache.
  It is true that some people are not so-so-so-so, say whatever they want, and in the end they can accept other people’s arrangements, which is not difficult to get along with. But those who are casual and picky often put a lot of pressure on people in social interaction, because the more they talk casually, the less you can’t be casual.
  Saying casually behind does not mean that this person has no needs. It is just that he does not express, but throws the problem to the other party, wanting the other party to meet their own needs. They have a kind of expectation in their hearts, that is, “You should know me What do you want and be able to give me what I want”.
  Everyone has this expectation, but not everyone can meet this expectation. Only if you know your own requirements, the other party is more likely to meet you, but it is too difficult for many people to speak out your own needs.
  Interpersonal communication is not easy. Many people are very sensitive. They often fight with each other because of a little thing. Friends may become strangers because of a dispute. So everyone will be cautious, afraid of being vulnerable. The relationship has worsened.
  The phrase “random” sounds simple, but it is actually creating a difficult problem for the other party: What kind of answer can satisfy the other party?
  In terms of what to eat, it is very difficult to deal with. It is necessary to consider the other party’s living habits, usual dietary preferences, seasonality and other factors. It is possible that after comprehensive consideration and careful selection, the other party still cannot be satisfied, let alone other major issues.
  During the Spring Festival, I take my parents out as usual. My parents are really easy-going people, but what they say to me “whatever” still makes me anxious. A bad choice of where to go will cause a lot of trouble. , If you only consider popular tourist locations, and may not be suitable for the age and preferences of your parents, it is much harder than they clearly indicate where to go for me to arrange.
  In addition to creating pressure and choice problems for others, saying “whatever” does not necessarily leave a good impression of being easy-going, because it also seems like you don’t care, because you don’t want to spend time talking about needs, and you don’t want to talk to each other Discussion and exchange is just a coping attitude.
  It’s simple to say something casually, but it’s very complicated to take on this sentence. Think about it in another way, and you will find that the best way not to embarrass the other party is not to talk casually, but to express your needs as truthfully as possible.
  In fact, in addition to making problems for others, often saying “whatever” is also embarrassing yourself.
  Saying casual means suppressing one’s own needs and being unable to face the true self. If the other person doesn’t know your true thoughts and doesn’t meet your needs, you will be disappointed, and this disappointment comes from your initial “random”, it is you giving up the right to choose, it is you giving up to satisfy yourself Opportunity, when you say “whatever you want,” be prepared that others will treat you casually.
  Rather than the twists and turns, back and forth in denial and critical processes, I prefer to tell others my needs straightforwardly, to reduce the burden of guessing for others, and to give myself a chance to face my heart. It’s not shameful to say what you want, and you don’t need to whitewash it. This is responsible for yourself and others.
  Since you are not a casual person, don’t always say casually, and take every choice seriously, so that you will not live a casual life down the river.

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