Sorry! Husband is private, no loan

Recently, a “family earthquake” occurred at my cousin’s house. The reason is simple. The cousin accidentally discovered that her brother-in-law and her girlfriend were dating alone to watch a drama, and she had no idea! For this matter, my girlfriend gave a calm explanation: “Your husband came to help me fix the water pipe. I just have a ticket and thank him. I only have two tickets, and I really want to see it…” The reason given by my brother-in-law More innocent: “You asked me to fix the water pipe for her. She thanked me and gave me a ticket. I didn’t know she would go too.”

What is the explanation? If it’s really unintentional, as to hide it from her? The cousin felt that things were not so simple. She was breaking down and smelled the signs of extramarital affairs, but who could be to blame? Thinking of the wrong things she had done, her intestines were all regrettable–the girlfriend came back from a business trip and got off the plane in the middle of the night. She felt unsafe and sent the old public car to the airport to pick it up; the gas stove, water pipe, and furniture in the single girlfriend’s house were broken. She thinks it is not easy for others to take the initiative to borrow her husband and ask him to run for repairs.

Lonely men and widows always meet each other, how can they not create sparks? Fortunately, everything was discovered in time. After the “drama incident”, the cousin never asked her brother-in-law to help her girlfriend. If one day her girlfriend asked her husband to help her, she would also directly throw out a sentence: “I’m sorry! My husband is private, no loan!”

Listening to my cousin, I thought of myself when I was young.

“Husband, my colleague borrowed money from me. I don’t have enough money in my card. Can you transfer it to him for me first?” (borrowing husband to be the benefactor)

“Husband, my girlfriend is moving today, let’s go and help.” (borrowing husband to be a porter)

“Husband, stop! My roommate is nearby, let’s take her home by the way!” (borrowing husband to be the driver)

This is the sentence pattern I communicated most with my husband before. I asked him to help with these things, and I didn’t think anything was wrong at all. He is also accustomed to it. From the very beginning to determine the relationship, he spent half a month of living expenses buying snacks for the sisters in my dormitory. He got used to my “enthusiasm”. The price of enthusiasm is that he has to love the house and serve me unselfishly. Group of relatives and friends.

One day, when we drove to help my friend move, my husband suddenly asked my friend a question: “I’m so worried about moving alone. Why don’t you wait for your husband to come back from a business trip?” The friend answered naturally, “I At the old fair, he was too tired from work. I think he will clean up as soon as he comes back to our new home. He can just rest at ease.”

He does not mean that. At that moment, my head flashed and thundered. I seem to see a young couple sitting side by side on the sofa watching TV, holding hands, talking and laughing. The premise of this scenario is that my husband will work as a porter for others. It is still free. A word of thank you is enough.

After this incident, I reflected on it for a long time, sincerely apologized to my husband, and stated that I would try not to trouble him to help my relatives and friends. Although he laughed it off, I knew he was still very happy.

Ever since I rejected those errands that require a foreign husband, the time for us has suddenly increased. At that time, we had no children. After dinner, we could walk hand in hand on the boulevard. We could also go to the library to read a book on weekends, or we could go to the theater to eat popcorn and watch a favorite movie. The days are laid back and romantic.

When we were young, we were all passionate idealists, and it was inevitable to have this idea:

“If you love me, be nice to my family and friends!”

“Which one of us and who should do something for my relatives and friends!”

“My husband did it, I did it, it’s the same.”

However, as my experience increased, I realized that the loaning husband not only increased the workload for my husband, but also caused trouble for myself. Most importantly, the sense of boundaries between people was destroyed. It’s not who I love, and my husband must love whoever; it’s not who I want to help, he must help who selflessly. He is himself, an independent, dignified individual with his own social circle.

Moreover, you have to understand that there are no people in the world who can’t survive without the help of someone. Look, now that my cousin and I have implemented “husband private ownership”, our relatives and friends are still alive.

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