In the summer of 1992, the year after graduation, the unit organized a trip to Beidaihe.
In the twilight, the bus started heavily. From the southwest of Shandong to the east and north, the lights like snow-white bayonet plunged into the vastness of the North China Plain. Along the way, I grabbed the last row of windows, pulled the glass a slit, and let the wind hit my face.
The night is blurred, and locust-like thoughts are flying in my mind: political, literary, film, ancient and modern, realistic and fictional … It doesn’t seem to be traveling, but a fugitive in disguise, a privacy A person who is overweight or carrying ideals, a ranger who crosses historical rivers and lakes, and a left-wing youth
who is devoted to faith or love … Gradually, the snoring sounded, and the whole car became my own horse. Feeling mighty and happy. Accompanying the sky and stars, I saw the quaint villages, the Mount Tai, the Yellow River, and in the night they restored the ancient majesty … I saw the unlit lights of the Beijing-Tianjin Chengguo, like a distant palace, Like just going through a glorious or catastrophe. To the east and north, I saw Shanhaiguan and the black iron mountain. It was like a cell, with the sound of wolves, swords, and shouts … At dawn, I smelled the reef’s breath, the kelp’s Fishy, I heard a huge surging sound, like an old record that has been playing for hundreds of thousands of years.
Excited, can’t sleep, because they are too young.
Youth, turbulent and psychedelic inside, flammable substances flowing in the blood.
That was the first time I went to see the sea, the first time I woke up across such a complete night, and the first time I walked the land until it disappeared.
This experience has never happened before, but it often helps me to remember some night-related details, such as: the pendulum in the rainy night as a child, the lilac blossoms and the meow on the window sill; Andersen in “The Postman at Night” That match-like faint love relationship; Tolstoy’s carriage and the station of leaving in the
middle of the night; the net name “Yiyiche” used by writer and teacher Liu Yiyuan … the important people and things in my life are It was late at night.
Ten years later, when planning for CCTV’s “Social Record”, I said that a late-night program must have late-night temperament and late-night attributes. You need to know who is awake at this moment, who they are, and why.
You must pay attention to the person who contacts you late at night, when the souls are dispatched, and that is the time when life is the most honest and closest to the truth.
That thousand-mile night trip also laid down my overall spiritual impression of the “North”: no matter in geography or humanities, it reminded me of the words “broad,” “grim,” “desolate,” “decisive,” “angrily,” and “determined.” I thought of the Su Wu shepherd and Zhao Jun who were out in the wind, and Yan Zhao “man of generosity of tragedy”; as a historical instrument and a theater of time, it is suitable for staged flying stones, iron horse glacier, sword light sword shadow, suitable for rehearsing politics, epic, Beacon, suffering and sacrifice; Compared with the orange and poetic of the South, it is gray and rational, with a natural temperament and tragedy atmosphere. Just like Taishan, the head of the Five Sacred Mountains, Shaoxingxiu, but the towering, gigantic system, orientation, appearance, texture, and folds show the image of the “king” and “community”, and it was accepted by the power.
As I grow older, I am more and more convinced that my genes live in my blood. The melancholy, intense, sharp, rigid, explosive power of my personality component all stems from it. It is it that gives me something cold, hard, deep and straight in terms of will and character, especially enthusiasm for tall things such as homeland, faith, hero, justice.
My fluttering youth like a sunflower, my wolf-like howling youth, my Maimang-like youth, I am wrapped in a stand-up collar coat, and my youth is from the north. My conscience, my blood, was awakened by the north wind.
I am its child, I am its person.
In Xishuangbanna, I heard a saying from the locals: “This land can sprout from a crutch under the pestle.”
How wanton and how prosperous it grows, I am envious of this northerner.
I think of the barrenness of the native land, the harshness and sorrow of its “growth”, the barren years in its history, the fate of those who have barely succumbed their leaves and bark. The words “subsistence, fullness”, “hunger”, and “fruit belly”, which are extremely serious and real in the north, seem remote and strange here.
I am a typical northerner mentally, but in terms of senses, instincts, and growth habits, my needs are more like a simple plant. I do n’t like the climate and water and soil in the north, and I do n’t like its extreme environment and extreme things. . In the North for a long time, geography and material chill, dryness, ruggedness, and haze will be projected into a person’s heart, generating anxiety, cracking, anger and desolation. Finally, I have a crush on warmth, kindness, rippling, clearness … In fact, no matter whether it is physical or soul, I long for the coming of “South”. I need her to remedy, her style, her soft words, her Sweet waxy and fragrant, her poetic and elegant.
I need a lot of water and flowers.
I think that the progress of an era and a society is to give birth to more “Southern” characteristics from the “Northern” characteristics: from violent to peaceful, from impatience to relief, from harshness to tolerance, from struggle to wealth, From authority to people, from squares to courtyards, from heavy to leisure, from curses to praise, from rocks to flowers.
Historically, most of the literati’s love and happy times were in the south of the Yangtze River; those stranded in the north were often their bitterness, sorrow and barren graves. The reason is that in addition to the distant temples and loose power in the south, it is also related to the nature’s temperament, the delicate life of the city and ironing. Regardless of the suffering of the flesh or the illness of the soul, the water and soil of Jiangnan have the functions of nurturing and healing.
The folks of the North and the South have different cultural dispositions and different life attentions. A colleague told an interesting thing. The host of a current affairs program went to Guangdong and hurriedly took out his sunglasses when he was on the plane. The colleague laughed and said no, the folks here didn’t recognize us.
The South is a place where you can concentrate and live your lives. It supports a person who only cares about life itself.
The number of southbound trips has been increasing in recent years. I like to watch the warbler flying in the grass, the moon cages and the rain, and the cheering lotus leaves, the rich sun, the illuminated things and their textures. I like to face a large lake, see the vast waves, the magnificent iris. , There is the joy of flying birds in my heart; like the sugar-added air, camphor, osmanthus, gardenia, jasmine, the free preserves give people a sense of happiness, let your lips grow, and make you feel that all the suffering in the world can be tolerated; I like to walk, and suddenly the bright and strange flowers and fruits come out at the roadside. You can feel the word “growth of all things” when you see them wild and passionate; like on the top of the mountain or the cable car, overlooking the lush and vigorous The dense forest, feel the primitive, surging and immortal of that vitality … No doubt, Meilin, garden, tea bamboo, banana, chinks, well springs, windows … These words of life and comfort ideas occupy my body and mind.
The mind and body of a northern man is easily captured by Jiangnan. By its various wishes and records about life and love, by its grand smoky rain, quiet lotus mist and fragrant legends.