Jane Eyre in the Attic

  The small heads in the classroom were originally arranged horizontally according to the tables and chairs, and the bell rang after school. Everyone left the seat and quickly formed a new settlement. Fortunately, I have swapped my arms for snacks; if you live close, discuss going home together. The girls agreed to go to the toilet. Crowds of chicks flew out of the classroom. When the students were gone, the teachers in the office packed up one after another. Only Mr. Song allowed all the stationery to be spread out on the table, the tea cup was open, and he was spitting hot air. She lay on the railing in the corridor and watched everyone leave school.
  The parents who came to pick up the children looked up at Teacher Song and waved their greetings. After walking out of the school, the parents chat and talk about Teacher Song. “Not yet,” parents said. The children came over and asked, “Nothing yet?” The parents said, “You Song, you are different from others.”
  Teacher Song is a few years older than my mother. My mother has me, I’m already in school, and Teacher Song is not married yet. If a woman is young, people will talk about her unmarried. Most married are thinking about matchmaking, and unmarried men are thinking more. But as the woman gets older, people don’t talk about her life, just exchange glances, such as suggesting a secret.
  It seems that there are really secrets. Teacher Song lives alone. In the early 1990s, individual housing allocations depended on the unit. On the waiting list, there is a long list of faculty names, and each family has urgent difficulties. The single Song teacher was in a distant future. The school took good care of it and saw that the attic in the teaching building was vacant, allowing her to live first.
  Everyone has to leave school, except for Song. How strange she is to settle on campus. Because of this, is she different from other teachers?
  The school installed CCTV in each classroom. Other teachers are not very useful in class, but Mr. Song will take a video every few weeks to bring us English cartoons. After Christmas in December, she applied for a one-day student lunch in the school cafeteria and replaced it with fried fried steak and a lead bucket of cabbage tomato soup. She told us western etiquette: the fork is on the left, the knife is on the right, and her body is straight away from the back of the chair. Her elbows cannot rest on the table, and she can’t make a sound while drinking soup. We did not have a knife and fork, and we also worked hard to follow Ruyi, sitting upright, and using a stainless steel spoon in an enamel rice bowl, carefully spooned the soup outward.
  Some parents heard that and frowned. “Can’t you take your child to recite the text and read the words? It ’s a lot of flowers, what is it …” What exactly is it? The parents care about the students, and they can’t help but say. But that did not say what was being said. In fact, even the students knew, “Ms. Song is different from others.”
  The content of the English lesson is about birthday. In the illustration of the textbook, the British parents are holding balloons, the protagonist boy wears a pointed cap, his sister and friends come to celebrate each other with a cake with candles, which turned out to be the birthday of the British. But the birthday cake was a luxury item in Shanghai that year. The students looked at the illustration and showed envy.
  In the next class, Mr. Song came into the classroom with a big carton, and as soon as it was opened, there was a coquettish “wow” in the classroom. It turned out to be a huge cream-shaped cake. Teacher Song smiled, repeated a few words and paragraphs in the textbook, took out the knife and fork, and carefully divided dozens of copies. Each of the classmates got a small piece. Everyone took it, went back to their seats to eat, the words and paragraphs were like cream, and fell into the belly.
  Winter is coming to spring, and the beautiful class teacher blushes to tell the parents that she has just graduated from college and is now going to get married. Another teacher was giving a candy to colleagues, and his son was married. Everyone will be married when they are old. This is true of adults throughout the school. This is true of every relative I know from my family. Except for Song.
  One day after finishing the blackboard, several of our students stayed late at school. Wash your hands and walk out of the toilet. Everyone walked and walked to the stairs leading to the attic. You push me, I push you, look at the door slit, there is something hidden inside. Is there a sofa? Do you have pots and pans? Is it the same as ours? Will Teacher Song sleep on the desks and chairs and use the blackboard as a wall? Until a cough came from behind, everyone looked back, and Mr. Song stood outside the attic with a TOEFL textbook.
  She opened the door and let us in. Everyone rushed in and soon filled the whole attic. This room looks no more than four or five square meters. There is a single bed under the window, a chair by the bed, a radio on the chair, two thermos bottles and a three-in-one Nestle coffee under the chair. All furnishings are at a glance. Mr. Song pulled the blanket from the corner of the bed and laid it on the edge of the bed, motioning us to sit on it. The window was facing east and there was not enough light, and she turned on the light again. Huang Chancan shined a shirtless light bulb and gilded the burrow. For a while, the music stopped.
  Teacher Song turned on the radio and took out the tape to turn it over. As she took out the tape, she asked, “Why are you here?” We looked at each other and laughed. The teacher also laughed: “I think the teacher is fun here?” We said: “I think you are different from others.” Teacher Song froze and said, “What’s the difference between me?” A classmate said, “We go home from school, you Home is here. “Teacher Song said,” Yeah, you go home, but my home is here. ”
  She pressed the play button. The tape rotates and makes a slight sound. There is a man and a woman talking, and a happy voice sounds. A woman said, “Do you think I am poor and not good-looking, do you have no feelings? Me too. If God gave me wealth and Beautiful. I have to make it difficult for you to leave me, just like it is difficult for me to leave you now. “I asked Teacher Song what it was, like the sound of a movie. Mr. Song said, “It ’s the lines in the movie. I recorded it myself,” Jane Eyre. “The music was just the theme song of the movie. Jane Eyre is the name of a foreign female teacher. She is like me. The family is also not good-looking. ”
  ” Mr. Song, you look good. “The students said. Teacher Song said, “Thank you.” Then she said, “It doesn’t matter if I can also go to a foreign country. When I get to a foreign country, everything will be fine …” Only the tape seemed to enter the next paragraph. A male voice shouted eagerly: “Jane, Jane, Jane …” Teacher Song listened silently, and we listened. The eagerness in that voice made goose bumps. The teacher didn’t speak and we were afraid to leave. Until a classmate remembered and said, “My dad is still waiting to pick me up.” We got up and left, and Mr. Song stood at the door and waved to us.
  We ran down the stairs, her silhouette standing in orange and yellow light, her hands, shoulders, skirt, and finally her feet, disappearing one by one. The teaching building was darkened, and the familiar walls and steps suddenly appeared strange. There seemed to be something unknown behind each corner. Everyone was afraid, as if they had just broken into a world we shouldn’t break into. In order to eliminate the fear, we generally ran down the stairs quickly and reached the last few levels. We almost jumped down regardless of our lives. Finally, everyone rushed to the ground floor and laughed like crazy. Waiting to pick us up.
  Later I heard that Mr. Song had been trying to apply to go abroad in the past few years, but was unsuccessful, and then applied for transfer. Until the last time I heard about her, she was single. In fact, she was not too old at that time. If today I saw a woman in her thirties on the streets of Shanghai, I would think she was very young.
  About a few years after Mr. Song left school, a new English teacher asked me to help me organize some old books in the office. In the bookcase, I flipped to a Chinese-English version of Jane Eyre, and spent an afternoon sipping on the Chinese part. In the guide to that book, as usual, tips such as the critical limitations of the author’s history were written, and several paragraphs of the author’s letter to friends were recorded. When I was studying English and American literature in college, I found the “Charlotte Bronte Letters” to read.
  In 1852, 36-year-old Charlotte wrote to her friend Ellen: The misfortune that groans out of my heart from time to time is in my situation-not because I am a single woman, and it is likely to be a single woman all the time, It’s because I’m a lonely woman … but it’s helpless, because it must be endured, and it must be endured in silence, the less you say, the better.
  I remember that in middle school, I read the Jane Eyre for the first time. The inside page of the book was stamped by the school’s English teaching and research group. It was a public book. But I turned to the back cover and saw a small signature, which is in flower English and Song Pinyin.