Newly married, it ’s not just the first year after marriage, but when a young couple first encounters after marriage, for example, elders always mixed with husband and wife life, whether talking about money will hurt feelings, whether to go to work …… If you don’t understand clearly, you have to learn how to deal with it.
She never seemed to be able to pull her husband into her life
My husband has been on a business trip for five or six days, and finally wants to go home. Liang Dan plans a lot of surprises for him. She arranged the flowers and reorganized her home. The couple Tao Taoren, who was brought back from their honeymoon trip, carefully placed them above the shoe cabinet, just the place where they could see when entering the door and changing shoes. Then she changed her newly bought dress, put on her makeup, and quickly took the key out of the door. Her husband’s flight was about to land.
At the airport, her husband hurried out with two suitcases of luggage, Liang Dan happily greeted, and handed a small bouquet of flowers hidden behind her to her husband. Chen Mu froze and muttered, “What are you doing so grandly?” He just put the flowers on the luggage cart, and then busy calling and reporting to the company leaders while walking. Liang Dan couldn’t find a chance to speak, so he pushed her husband out of the heavy luggage cart.
It was so easy to enter the house, her husband threw the briefcase on the shoe cabinet, and broke the couple’s Taoren carelessly. “Oh, what’s the matter? Dan Dan quickly swept away, I’m exhausted.” Dan’s flowers, Dan’s duck soup, Dan’s skirt, Dan’s smiling face … all could not attract the attention of Chen Mu. He showered, ate, lay on the sofa, watched the ball game for a while, and went directly to the room to make up Feeling gone.
Leaving Liang Dan’s mood down to the extreme, while tears fell, he grabbed the bouquet angrily and stuffed it into the trash bin. Since his marriage, Chen Mu seems to have lost his ability to observe. Liang Dan carefully prepared all kinds of things. He either turned a blind eye or frowned and accused her of being unnecessary. Sometimes, Liang Dan wanted her husband to drink some red wine with her, but Chen Muyi felt a little sip, and went to find white wine: “Still white.”
It seems that in Liang Dan’s beautiful and exquisite life, he can never pull in her husband. In addition to the most realistic life, Chen Mu has always ignored his wife’s efforts to create a refined life.
The ideal country of marriage: fantasy or day
The end of the fairy tale will tell us “from now on, the princess and prince lived a happy and happy life.” However, what kind of life is a happy and happy life?
In social and cultural education, women pay more attention to emotion, beauty, and collaboration, while men pay more attention to reason, practicality, and competition. Such education will create completely different values and attention directions between the sexes, and even different personal interests, language expressions, and content of life. Of course, all these differences will naturally continue into marriage.
In fact, like Liang Dan, there are many wives who complain that their husbands are unromantic, incomprehensible, and do n’t recognize their commitments. They always feel that they are dedicated to their husbands. Husbands do n’t care. And the man’s extensiveness and casualness often make many women feel boring, lacking beauty, and too primitive.
If you fail to recognize that these differences are related to gender-developing bias in social education, conflicts such as Liang Dan and Chen Mu often occur in marriage. For example, the hungry Chen Mu longs for a fragrant elbow, and romantic Liang Dan prepared a little western food …
In fact, marriage is not an illusion in one’s heart, but a day when two people start together from a connection point. How to build together is the subject that every couple must study.
Make life more fun: build a “domestic demand” shared area for couples
No one can say that Dan Dan ’s hard work and thoughts are worthless, and no one can say that Chen Mu ’s needs are completely unreasonable, so what this newly married couple really needs is to study carefully how to put the two ’s “ “Internal demand” is coordinated and combined to design a “day” that can truly satisfy both parties.
To find the “domestic demand” sharing area for couples, try the following two points:
First, avoid authorizing individual needs.
Both husband and wife should not stubbornly equate the life they think of with the truth. They feel that the other party should cooperate with themselves. They must know that only a win-win situation is long-lasting. Liang Dan often complains that Chen Mu is boring. Chen Mu also always feels that his wife “loves tossing.” Such an inconsiderate attitude will create contradictions.
Secondly, the rights of supporting actors and actresses in the shared zone must be distinguished.
In fact, Chen Mu can occasionally accompany Liang Dan to eat western food, light candles, and be romantic, but Liang Dan should be careful not to choose a day when he has just returned from a business trip and is extremely tired. When he has more energy, it is possible to straighten his position and show his sincerity to satisfy his wife’s little romance.