Bustling, Lily. In a modern society, can you not hide the sorrow of your heart? Is it no longer possible to comfort your lonely and lonely feelings? I don’t know when it started, the small warmth of a meal and a meal seems to make people tasteless, and the small fortunes that day and night look forward to seem to be difficult. The so-called happy life seems to be more distant for us. The ups and downs of emotions have gradually become the most difficult thing for you and me to break free.
Not long ago, there was a hot search: the young man was stopped by the car, and the traffic police turned out to be out of control. He cried and said, “I am dead…” The reason for his collapse is exceptionally simple: “The company is Forcing me, my girlfriend is also forcing me, the traffic police are also forcing me, I am so stressed, I want to cry…” That day, it seems that all netizens are comforting him because many people have seen their shadows in the guys. . Fast-paced life and work, people generally feel that emotional ups and downs are difficult to control. In the words of ordinary people, “just at all”, even a small and inconspicuous thing, may become the last straw of the crush.
In the era of material poverty, the assertion of “humanism” and “money supremacy” makes wealth a direct criterion for measuring happiness. However, today, the material is rich, are we happier? Although the currency measurement and measurement has portrayed the quantitative relationship of happiness more straightforward, it has never been able to guarantee the peace of mind. It can be seen that the true meaning of happiness lies in the fact that “things” are more about “people” and that “outside” is more “inside”. The external ones are no longer the fundamental source of our happiness. The inner emotions are the avenues that help us to be happy. The so-called seven-love internal injury is a tearful smile, or a happy cry? How to properly manage emotions and be humiliated is a question worth discussing in this era.
Is it to refuse pain or to be happy?
Emotion is a multifaceted little monster. Whether it is Wundt’s three-dimensional theory of emotions, Schlogerg’s three-dimensional model of emotional inverted vertebrae, or Izard’s emotional four-dimensional theory, emotions are considered a complex, multifaceted Continuum. In the conventional definition, emotion is a general term for a series of subjective cognitive experiences, and is a psychological and physiological state produced by a combination of multiple feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
”Know yourself, you can know life.” Similarly, understanding the process of emotional volatility, decomposing emotional changes in volatility, and correctly understanding one’s emotional experience are also essential skills for good emotional management. However, negative emotions such as narrowness, anxiety, anger, sadness, jealousy, and fear often become life explosions that we cannot overcome. In Robert C. Solomon’s book Happy Emotions, you will find that any emotion has its necessity. “Fear provides us with the most fundamental information in the world. Anxiety is a wise existence. Sadness and love are inseparable. Shame is also an honor…” Negative emotions are not necessarily the chief culprit in reducing the beauty of life. It is a great assistant that prompts us to be deeply vigilant and introspective. So, aside from the emotional or “negative” or “positive” labels, it’s important to experience your experience.
The four basic emotions of human beings have been recognized by different cultures around the world, namely, joy, anger, sorrow, and fear. It has also been recognized in the world that cognitive evaluation of external events is the basis of emotional production, and cognitive re-evaluation rationalizes emotional events with a more positive perspective by changing individual understanding of emotional events and the personal meaning of emotional events. It can reduce the effects of negative emotions and even the consequences of negative emotions. In fact, negative emotions and positive emotions are mutually independent and interconnected ends, and their relationship has made cognitive re-evaluation a panacea for emotional management. What we are pursuing has not been to avoid suffering completely, but to get more happiness.
Is it a choice to break out, or is it a reconciliation with emotions?
Life and death, joys and sorrows and sorrows… The normality of these lives gives us much real joys and sorrows. The body is small, the raw must-have… These lifes are bound to leave us with a lot of sadness and helplessness. In this way, accepting your own real emotional experience is the foundation for good emotional management. Mr. Lu Xun said: “Really warriors, dare to face the bleak life.” There is sadness and joy is life, there is bitterness and sweetness is life, is true life happiness not the case?
Here are three strategies for a happy life for your reference.
First of all, everyone needs a reasonable emotional exit. To unravel the mask of emotional expression, we must respect the need and desire for freedom. Almost every message that comes forward, every incident that is difficult to avoid, has two sides. What you choose to focus on largely determines your mood. Interpretation is more important than information. We can’t change the content we receive, but how to see it, “I” can be the master.
Second, emotions may not be choiceable, but the way emotions are expressed can be chosen. Reasonable emotional expression is a “one-mile trip” to do a good job in emotional management. The social attributes of people warn that our emotional expression should conform to social norms, otherwise it will not only fail to correctly convey the inner information, but also more likely to expand the consequences of negative emotions. The commanding height of emotional expression is not to ignore their own emotional appeals, but also to pay attention to the emotional experience of others. When the emotions come, the moment is three questions: What happened to me? why? How do I express it? This is not to learn from Lu Xun’s AQ, not to “return a step by step,” but to gradually shift his attention to positive aspects. When this way of thinking becomes a habit and becomes the leading lead, even if you are in the same situation as before, it will usher in completely different results. So no matter what the situation is, try to make yourself an “active”.
Finally, in the struggle between emotion and reason, with emotional reconciliation, listening to the inner whisper, respecting the inner torrents and tsunami, when the rush of emotions flows out, I hope you and I can speak in one word. Emei condenses in the spirit and grasps the small happiness of life.