A Ph.D. in psychology told me that the most complicated sentence in the world is “I am good to you.”
He used to think that this sentence was very warm. After touching too many inquiries, after seeing too many realities, now he is most afraid to hear “I am good to you”. Intuition just wants to look back: Don’t be good to me, afraid !
Because “I am good to you”, there is always a presupposition that I want to give you what I feel good. But “the bear’s paw, the sacred frost”, standing on different levels to understand, this kind of good, has become some kind of kidnapping.
Parents don’t say it. It’s almost impossible to stand on the level of parents. It’s almost impossible to kidnap. The difference is only the degree of kidnapping, the length of time, and when parents can fully understand that they are alive. For children, it’s true. Good.
Between friends, the relationship between broth and oligo is often trapped in the inner drama of “I am good to you” and “You must not be good to me.”
I don’t have ice in the summer, and a friend who studies Chinese medicine will keep on my ears. Life is to keep warm, and the iron law of health is to avoid cold. After I gradually alienated her, she was very sad. Everyone said that it was so good to me. I was a bit wolf.
In fact, I always feel her good in my heart. But as an adult, I really don’t want to feel the frightening warmth of maternal love in a friendship. After all, I have been reluctant to study for a long time, and I have finally grown up, and I have to judge the standard correctly. I have a little bit of indulgence.
Some people think that you don’t like it, you can say, there is no need to alienate.
You are really a picture of Tucson. She is based on the theory of Chinese medicine, and there is a sword of emotion that is “good to me”. What do I say? I said that I don’t know what to do, and it’s the best protection for everyone.
In this world, there are things that can understand communication and solve; some things can only understand and wait to escape. “I miss you for being good for me, but I cherish myself with my own shortcomings.” In this truth, I can’t say anything about it. When I say it, I don’t know how to be good or strong.
People are the only animals in the world that can think about. Thinking, making human love, full of complex confrontation and public opinion.
The so-called growth, and the way we explore and learn throughout our lives, is actually the boundary of love.
Between adults, a lot of love and good, have unconsciously crossed the border.
A few years ago, I had a babysitter in my family. I dyed my hair once a month. It was almost 60 years old and looked like forty-five or six years old. Her daughter has always opposed her frequent hair dyeing, as long as she sees the hair dye caused by cancer, it is forwarded to her.
Once, I heard her quarrel with her daughter on the phone and said that I would rather live for 10 years and dye my hair.
I understand her, because I have seen her white hair grow up, it is 10 years old, and I understand her daughter, who does not want her parents to live longer, and the old man is ill, but also young people to take care of?
But I still choose to stand on the side of the nanny. Because the ultimate boundary of love is to respect the freedom and choice of adults; not to mention the fate of everyone is God’s dice, all scientific reasons can not explain why some people live habitually healthy but only live to 50 years old; But lived to 90 years old.
When we express our opinions on a good person, it is best to ask ourselves:
The so-called “good” and “healthy” that you are talking about is the correctness of being foolproof, or just your personal life experience.
Even if it is the correct and truthful thing, is it necessary to respect the freedom of others to “think of a less correct life?”
Not everyone recognizes that the right life is happy; not so right life and choice, sometimes just like a cheap life adventure.
We need to slowly live into an adult who can break into the sand. Those sands are the lives of others. They have nothing to do with you. If you are not used to the magical world of flying yellow sand, you should close your eyes instead of changing the world.
After all, we can only change and love deeply, only ourselves.
Therefore, the ideal state of “I am good to you” and “I love you” is not to give people advice, not to easily comment on other people’s living habits, and not to impose what they think is good.
I love you, you are free, it is the best; I am good to you, to understand all the unreasonable and imperfect things in you.
When you live like this, there is nothing in this world that makes you feel embarrassed. Your eyes are clear and clear, even if you are full of sand, you can use your own power to turn sand into diamonds.
When you live like this, you let go of others and let go of yourself.