The taste of sugar water

When I was in junior high school, the school was in a town ten years away from my home. The Xiaojia family is only one mile away from the town, so I have lived and lived in Xiaojia’s home for three years.

In the first semester, the school held a spring sports meeting, and I participated in the one-meter long-distance running. In order to make the sports meeting more lively, the school allowed the students who participated in the competition to invite parents to cheer and cheer. Xiao Yan was naturally very happy to agree.

One kilometer is my long term. At the beginning of the game, I didn’t rush, but just ran in the middle. But after a lap, I began to feel cold sweats, breathing more and more, and the legs were more and more powerless like lead. I think the teacher said that everyone has physical limits, and as long as they pass by, they will get better. I will continue to bite my teeth. On the second lap I had already fallen to the penultimate position. I glanced at Xiaoyan. She was still cheering for me, but she couldn’t conceal her nervousness and anxiety.

When I woke up, I was already lying in the hospital bed. I looked at the word on the quilt – the town hospital. I was trying to sit up and I sat down and heard a nurse say, “You can be awake! Just your mother carrying you, running fast. At that time, your face was white, you can scare your mother. She is so small. The man (about one meter and five meters), I don’t know where the strength comes from your size.”

I said, “That is me, yes, what am I?”

“After we checked you, I found that you are hypoglycemic, your mother, oh, you have heard that drinking sugar is more effective, maybe you are going to buy white sugar.”

I was talking about Xiaoyan coming in. When I woke up, the smile on my face immediately bloomed. She went to the bed and put down a bag of sugar and a can of hand. Touching my head, I said happily: “Wake up! The doctor said that you want to drink sugar, I bought a can, you can eat the can, and then give you sugar.”

Since then, this can bottle has become my special glass. A cup of white sugar every day has become a rule of thunder.

Xiaoyan’s family raised five hens. In addition to giving me an egg every day, the rest was picked up and sold to the town. The money for selling eggs was used to buy salt and sauce vinegar. One day, when I saw Xiaoxiao catching a chicken, I asked, “Hey, the chicken has to lay eggs!”

Xiao Yan said: “The sugar in the house is almost finished, sell it, so I can buy you sugar.”

I hurriedly said: “That was a bit nervous, and I ran too fast. I am fine now. I don’t have to drink white sugar in the future.”

“That can’t be done, the doctor said, you want to drink white sugar water, you are growing up now, can’t dare to care about it.” I understand that what I said is useless, and the idea of ​​Xiao Xiao has been fixed. Since then, in addition to sweetness, sugar water seems to increase the taste of maternal love.

At that time, the dropout rate of our school was very high. Most of my classmates brought a large bag of hoes when they came to school on Sunday, and they ate until school on Friday. Generally, after the Wednesday, the steamed bread will become hard and dry, and the rainy days will be mildewed. If you are not very passionate about learning, it is really difficult to stick to it. And I, not only have hot meals, but also a cup of extravagant white sugar water every day, it is a very happy thing.

After graduating from college, I stayed in the city to work. After more than ten years, my contact with Xiaoyan has gradually decreased. Taking advantage of the May Day holiday, I have time to return to my hometown to visit Xiaoyan. Otaru was very happy to see me. While coughing, I gave a bowl of white sugar water as usual. I seem to have returned to the junior high school era, taking the bowl and drinking it.

I saw that Xiao Xiao’s spirit was not very good. He asked her what happened. Xiao Yan said: “I’ve been having a fever recently. I have some itching in my throat. I have seen it many times in the clinic in the town, but it’s not good enough.”

Of course, I am not at ease, insisting that she take her to the big hospital in the city for inspection. Xiao Yan, but I have to go with me.

According to the condition of the doctor, the doctor first gave a gastroscopic examination. After the test results came out, the doctor asked me: “Who are you from the patient?” I thought for a moment and said, “I am her son.” The doctor took me to another office and said: “According to the test results, your mother’s The esophagus has a tumor, which is often referred to as esophageal cancer. As for benign or malignant, it needs to be confirmed by a biopsy. I will arrange it as soon as possible, and your family members should be mentally prepared.”

The doctor’s words are like a blue sky, I can’t believe it, just a 60-year-old Xiao Yan may actually be cancer! I can only pray silently, praying is only a benign tumor, no, praying this is a doctor’s misdiagnosis.

But soon, I have to face the reality that I can’t face. The esophagus of Xiaoyan is not only a malignant tumor, but also a late stage of esophageal cancer.

I tried to calm myself down and asked the doctor: “Now that medicine is so developed, there is definitely a way to do it right?”

The doctor said: “Unfortunately, in the advanced stage of esophageal cancer, no more than 30% can survive from the operating table. Even if the operation is successful, it is necessary to cooperate with chemotherapy, radiotherapy and other treatments. It can live for more than 10% in one year. After living for 5 years, it is no more than 5%. The cost of various treatments is an astronomical figure for the average family. Not to mention that patients have to endure all kinds of unimaginable pains. Therefore, many people prefer to have dignity. When I left, I didn’t want to spend a lot of money. After suffering all kinds of pains, I ended up with the result of personal wealth.”

After listening to the doctor, I am about to suffocate. I don’t know how to face Xiaoyan, Xiaoxi is illiterate, so she doesn’t know what it means. She always thought she was just uncomfortable with the stomach, as long as she took some medicine.

I called the coward and the cousin to explain the situation separately. In the end, I decided to take a nap and buy some anti-cancer drugs. In the rest of the time, I will accompany her more and let her finish her life with dignity. The last paragraph.

In the blink of an eye, Mother’s Day arrived. On that day, I played with my cousin who was working in the city for a whole day, until Xiaoxiao got some physical strength and returned home. In the evening, I gave Xiaoxiao a bowl of white sugar water and said, “Hey, you gave me three years of sugar water. Today I will give you a bowl. Today is Mother’s Day. After you have finished drinking, I will give you again.” Wash your feet, you can sleep comfortably, your body will be good soon.”

Xiao Yan was moved by the tears of happiness. I bit my lip and not let myself cry. I can’t let Xiao Xiao see the clue.

On the third day after Mother’s Day, the cousin took a small donkey back to his hometown. As soon as I had time, I called the cousin and asked about Xiao Xiao’s situation. It was only after more than three months that Xiaoyan’s body was getting worse and worse. Xiaoyan’s swallowing became more and more difficult. He could only eat rice porridge, milk and other liquid food. The spirit is also not as good as one day.

I finally waited for the National Day, I went straight to the small family. Although I was psychologically prepared, I saw Xiao Yan. I was still stunned, and my eyes were deep and my skin was so thin that I was only skinny.

Seeing me, Xiao Yan’s eyes suddenly brightened, and a gray smile shrank a smile. He lifted his arm hard and pointed to the direction of the kitchen. He said something in his mouth. Seeing me squatting and moving, I pointed hard. I suddenly realized that I quickly ran to the kitchen, took out a porcelain bowl, and then took the sugar cans and boiling water to the place where I could see it, and gave myself a bowl of white sugar water.

The smile on Xiaoyan’s face is even brighter, and there seems to be a touch of redness. I took the bowl and walked to the front of the small donkey. I drank the sugar water in a big mouth. Maybe the heat in the bowl was fascinated, and my eyes were blurred. That is the most difficult sugar drink I have to drink, not sweet, full of bitter and salty taste.

Since I know that Otaru is an esophageal cancer, I have checked a lot of information on this website. As the cancer cells spread, the esophagus will gradually become blocked. In the end, even the water will not swallow, and the cough and pain will be more frequent. Until the end of life disappears.

Looking at Xiao Yan, I really understand what is better than death. Every second of the life of Xiao Yan, the painful torture will accompany her for a second. At this moment, Xiao Yan feels that it is not good, but in his heart, he still has a strong desire to survive. He has to hurry up, there are still many lives waiting for her, and many people are waiting for her to care and love. .

But Xiao Yan, hope, how extravagant words are for you. Instead of staring at you like this, letting you suffer because of meaningless hope, it is better to tell you the truth, let you know clearly, less pain, and try to be different from us with dignity.

I asked my cousin to tell the truth to Xiao Xiao. The cousin said that he couldn’t keep his heart. He couldn’t tell the words that made his mother desperate. He prayed for me, I know, the last thing to say is for me.

“Hey, we have been glaring at you, you are not gastritis, not pneumonia, not a cold and fever. Instead, it is the late stage of esophageal cancer. I can’t repay you in this life, I just hope that in the next life, you are still my little sister, no. It’s my mother, I want to drink the white sugar water you rushed…” I didn’t finish talking, I burst into tears, and the tears that had been suppressed for a long time poured out.

My words are a knife. Xiao Yan’s gaze gradually faded, like a torrential rain, supporting the pillar of the thatched cottage, which was easily taken away by me. I deprived Xiao Xiao of her last desire for life. I couldn’t bear to look at her again and turned away from Xiao Xiao’s family.

After more than half a month, Xiao Yan walked away and walked very peacefully. I think Xiao Xiao should be forgiving me.

Until now, Xiao Xiao has been away from me for three years. I often dream of her, in the dream, Xiao Yan is like a healthy time. I later sneaked a bag of sugar and a porcelain bowl in front of her grave. In this way, I dreamt of Xiaoyan again, I can drink her sugary water, so sweet…