“Forgive others is to save yourself.” A recent scientific study found that this sentence is not a flashy “reass of heart”, but a real health secret. Scientists say that forgiving others will make it easier to forget the painful experience, free themselves from bad emotions, and restore balance between body and mind.
Choose forgiveness, easier to forget the pain
A scientific study published in the journal Psychological Science on May 21 found that people who choose to forgive are more likely to forget the details of previous injuries. This is because after forgiving, there is a mechanism for forgetting painful memories.
Researchers at the University of St. Andrews in the United Kingdom asked 30 subjects to read 40 content that included serious harm to others and theft, and then let each subject score the level of damage for each behavior, and imagine if If you are a victim, then the possibility of forgiving each other will be great.
Two weeks later, the same batch of subjects read the same content again, but the content was marked as red or green, respectively. The researchers asked the subjects to recall the green part of the text and not think about the red part of the text.
Dr. Saima Noreen, the author of the paper, said that when the subject chooses “forgiveness” from the beginning, it will be difficult to recall the details of the matter afterwards. Those who chose “not forgive” from the beginning, even if they were asked not to recall the details in the experiment, those memories are still quite profound.
The results of the study show that after a person makes a “forgive” decision, the brain will initiate a forgetting mechanism, forcing those painful memories that have been unfavorable to them. Even if it is difficult to really forgive all of a sudden, as long as you choose to forgive, forgetting those memories will become easier.
Nolin said: “The relationship between forgiveness and forgetting is two-way, and it will become more complicated over time. For a long time, we know that learning to forgive others will have a positive impact on personal health.”
Life disaster caused by “not forgiving”
In recent years, researchers have done a lot of experiments on the relationship between “forgiveness” and health, and found that “forgiveness” can improve cardiovascular function, reduce chronic pain, relieve stress and improve quality of life. A dose of “good medicine.”
And a person who cares about contradictions, his psychology is often in a state of tension, because the inner conflict is not relieved, it will lead to high brain and nerve excitement, causing nervous tension, vasoconstriction, elevated blood pressure, gastrointestinal paralysis The secretion of digestive juice is inhibited, thereby increasing the risk of heart disease, mental illness and other diseases.
Life practice also proves that a person who is not calm and cannot forgive others often causes small things to become big events, and the contradictions intensify, which leads to endless troubles for themselves.
In the book “Med. Mountain Nights”, which was assembled from real cases, “Breaking the Wealth and Injuring the Body” can tell the disaster caused by “not forgiveness”.
The patient name in the article is Rui, to the Chinese medicine clinic to treat Parkinsons Dieseas. Parkinson’s disease is called tremor in Chinese medicine. Rui has a history of nearly three years. Her hands are shaking, and she often trembles when she eats. The rice is not sent to the mouth and falls to the ground. After a period of Chinese medicine treatment, she did not have much improvement, and the symptoms often relapsed after a while. The Chinese doctor was puzzled. Under the inquiry, Rui talked about what happened in her life:
“My husband and I run a container shipping company. We have a villa on an island and share a private road with our neighbors. There are only two of us on the island. Due to the road repair, we propose that the two pay for the road, but The neighbors opposed it, and we had to pay for it ourselves. I didn’t expect the hired workers to pay attention, and pour the stones for road construction in the middle of the road, causing the neighbors to be inconvenient in transportation. They suspected that we were doing this because of anger, deliberately doing this. Sealing a door that belongs to their homeland and is convenient and close to us, which makes us go home a few miles more than usual.”
“My husband started to smash, and shut down the running water. The water was installed first. In order to save money, they took it out from us. This level cut off their water supply. Broke their water.” They were almost mad, and they poured cement on the road and piled up the stone, and completely blocked the driveway we went home. In this way, for the 2,000 yuan road repair fee, we became the family who did not share the sky. What people can’t stand is that both of us have found a lawyer. This lawsuit has been going on for nearly three years, and the legal fees have reached 2 million. In these three years, we can’t go home, they can’t live. Now our conflict has already It’s almost time for you to die. The house can’t be sold because it’s unresolved, it’s uninhabitable, and it needs repair…”
In the process of telling, Rui is getting more and more excited, his hands start to tremble, his face is red, and his emotions are almost on the verge of collapse. The Chinese medicine practitioner knows the root cause of her repeated recurrence of illness.
The anger, the liver and gallbladder pain, also lead the liver to lift the heart against the fire, the gas is not smooth, but not comfortable, hurt, hurt, hurt.
In this medical case, the Chinese medicine practitioner used the “forgiveness therapy” called by modern psychology to tell the patient the principle of “taking a step back, broadening the sky, enduring a forbearance, and swearing the flowers”, guiding the patients to positively affect those who have hurt themselves. Feel. When the patient said to the doctor, “You have straightened out my three years of suffocation and resentment,” her hand stopped shaking.
Learn to forgive
Neighboring neighbors, husband and wife, and disharmony of colleagues can cause people to fall into emotional swamps, making people sad, painful, angry, and even hateful. The best way to get rid of emotional dilemmas is to learn to forgive. This will have long-term benefits for people’s emotions and physiology.
Of course, this is not to forgive certain unethical behaviors or to make excuses for some kind of unethical behavior, but to let people abandon those extreme negative emotions.
Psychologists suggest that when encountering contradictions, consider the following four aspects:
(1) If you can forgive others, you can release a lot of negative emotions.
(2) Forgiving others can make you healthier and stronger.
(3) Think about it, why did the other party do it at the beginning?
(4) If I am the other party, how will I deal with what happened at the time.
Psychologists have found that when people can look at the conflicts from the perspective of the other party, there will be great changes in the body, whether it is heart rate or blood pressure will be lower, frowning will be less, and skin conduction The rate of skinconductance will also decrease – these are good indicators of the role of the sympathetic nervous system.
“Forgiveness” benefits us both physically and mentally. Then, if some unpleasant memories can still make you feel heartbeat, blood surge, and gastrointestinal turbulence… Now try to “transposition thinking” from each other. From the angle of thinking about those conflicts, understanding each other’s situation, and sincerely wish each other. Then, forget those troubles and move on in your life path.