Are you a child who lacks parental love?

What if I have one more member at home?

Chestnut: Egg yolk, I found a secret: my home shovel officer may be a sister control. In the previous paragraph, he asked him to indulge in the animation “How can my sister be so cute”. The expression staring at the screen is simply terrible.

Egg yolk: I guess you think too much. In fact, at home, because of the previous one-child policy, most children today will only feel uncomfortable if they have a younger brother or sister. Because they all default to being the only child in the family, they should enjoy all the love of their parents. But Mom and Dad suddenly have one more child, and the degree of attention will naturally be taken away.

Chestnut: Is it so serious?

Egg yolk: Of course. And adolescent children, because of the rapid development of physical psychology, are in a chaotic period of self-identity. They want independence, but they need to get support from their parents. The strong inner conflict will make them fall into a huge confusion.

Chestnut: What about these problems? How to solve them?

Egg yolk: In fact, the key is to adjust the mentality. First of all, what many children don’t know is that in many children’s families, parents usually pay the most attention to the first child. Because they have just assumed the role of parents in their first child, social experience and economic conditions are limited, they will be more cautious, but they will be more relaxed about the second child mentality. To put it simply, parents pay attention to the two-child brothers and sisters, and perhaps they have not paid much attention to the “boss” infants and young children. Therefore, the “Boss” do not have to feel lost and sad.

And from another point of view, the child’s conflict with his parents in adolescence in his teens is mostly due to the eagerness to prove his independence, but the parents have been slow to let go. The emergence of the second-child brothers and sisters, properly separated the parents’ energy, but allowed the “Boss” to get an independent opportunity earlier because of “separation of love.”

What if I am asked to take care of my younger siblings?

Chestnut: So, it is a good thing to have a younger brother or sister. However, if you are often asked by your parents or relatives, “Will you take care of your younger siblings in the future?” It is also annoying.

Egg yolk: In fact, as a brother and sister, in the family division of labor, it is indeed necessary to take responsibility for caring for younger siblings. But this responsibility is different from that of parents. Parents care for their children is to cover all aspects of life, always to adulthood, and the “boss” care for their younger siblings is guided by the main example, such as role model demonstration, or support for parenting.

If asked, it is the responsibility of “care” for the younger brother’s long-term life. The problem in the middle will be more complicated. Because since the birth of the second child is the decision of the parents, in the family, the responsibility of the parents to the children is greater than the responsibility of the “boss” to the younger siblings. It is also the parents who need to consider the “care” problem in the long run. As a child, living a good life is the best reward for parents. Especially nowadays, social pressure is getting bigger and bigger. Many students step into the society in a few years, and they have to face career choices, mate selection, and heavy housing pressure. Therefore, the task of caring for and helping the younger siblings should be placed after the task that is responsible for them. These problems can actually be discussed with them openly and honestly before parents consider giving birth to a second child.

As for relatives or neighbors who may make some jokes about moral abductions for classmates with younger siblings, as long as they understand that “helping younger brothers and sisters” is based on their own ability, the most important thing for everyone is to be responsible for their own lives, then ignore them. They can either refute it directly.

Parents’ love is not fair, what should I do?

Chestnut: However, I heard that there are many families in humans. There are really cases where parents are biased towards their children. The dramas “Be Good” and “Ode to Joy” that were accompanied by the shovel’s eunuch before existed.

Egg yolk: Indeed, every child is not exactly the same in the minds of parents. Foreign psychologists have done research. In families with many children, parents tend to pay the most attention to the first child, while the youngest child tends to be the most loved, and the middle child is the most vulnerable. In this case, children who are “boss” will tend to become mainstream people after they grow up; the youngest children tend to be more rebellious, more adventurous, and anti-traditional industries; I feel that I have been neglected and developed a kind personality.

In fact, parents’ “eccentricity” also has many reasons, which may be related to their marital relationship and economic conditions when they are bred different children. Children who are born with good marital relations and superior economic conditions may be more loved. Children born when the couples are jealous and financially disadvantaged will become carriers of resentment between parents. It seems that they are not too “cute”. It is.

In addition, eccentricity may also be related to parental values ​​and even social traditions, such as patriarchal women.

Chestnut: Girls are so cute. How can someone really dislike girls?

Egg yolk: China’s traditional ideology in the past has continued in some areas. In some families with children, parents care more for boys, even in TV dramas, asking girls to sacrifice themselves for their brother’s life. .

The tragedy is that many girls in patriarchal families, who know their parents are eccentric, still cannot leave the original family and are willing to be “exploited” by their parents. This is because every child is eager for the affirmation of their parents, and the more uncertain the child, the more they expect to get it. Therefore, these girls are suffering because they are ignored by their parents, but on the other hand they want to be affirmed by endless efforts. It has become a tragic person.

In fact, every child has the qualification to be loved, whether or not they get enough attention in the native family. The love we have received throughout our lives is not just from our parents. If you feel that your parents are eccentric, don’t be depressed. This love will always be “filled up” elsewhere. Only when you feel that you are “unworthy” to be loved and give up completely will the door to happiness be officially closed.

Chestnut: It’s a le, like my shovel, I love you very much… Wait, yesterday he seems to watch the animation of “Rom Black War”! It was gone, he had other cats in his heart!